Li Massage - AVOID WASTE OF MONEY - Coventry

[SlamBoy]

External Link/Members Only

I was in the Midlands on business last week and after reviewing these boards, decided that I would go for a massage and HE from LI in Coventry as she had been given good reviews. £40 for an hour.

I wish I hadn't have bothered. Here's why:

(1) Venue. The area her massage shop is in is an absolute dump. I was shocked. Trash in the street, EE guys working on a car and staring right outside her shop, not a discrete entrance at all. There was a consistent sound of a young baby crying upstairs. I didn't feel safe. And I live in London!

(2) The SP. Unattractive older Chinese lady. Late 50s early 60s. Quite a puffy face. She was polite and nice enough, but not in any way a turn on if physical attraction is important to you.

(3) Services:

Massage - very good, can't fault that.

HE - This wasn't so much a HE but a UHE (UnHappy Ending). A complete waste of time. No touching allowed at all. I tried. She moved away and stood by my feet while administering the HE. So there I was, lying on a massage table with an unattractive OAP standing far away from me who I couldn't touch anywhere. I tried to concentrate on cumming, but that concerted attempt at concentration was continually broken by the music from the 'Onedin Line' on her CD player overlayed with the sound of a screaming baby from upstairs. Also, her phone kept ringing, breaking my concentration, and she broke off a couple of times to answer it to make other appointments (WTF?!?) - so Peter - I hope you enjoyed your afternoon appointment! I couldn't cum at all. I had to finish myself off while she watched from the bottom of the massage table.

If you want a massage only - go. If you want anything remotely sensual (which is what UKP is about, which is why sports massages are not reviewed here), do not bother - a complete waste of time and money.

[temptation]

If she's that unattractive why did you want to touch her!
I think she's good value.

[Retep64]

I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I have to disagree.
The area is not great to look at but I have seen worse particularly in London. It is a shop so not greatly discreet.Li is probably in her 50s. Certainly not as bad looking as described. She doesn't allow touching, but that's well documented. Her massage is great. The HE is in my opinion very good not rushed and sensual. She will do prostrate if you like that thing. Perhaps you put her off her game by trying to grope her? She is a very nice lady when you chat with her.
Anyway it's my opinion.

[mr.bluesky]

Li is early 50's as for the area where her shop is you are right it's not the posh area of coventry but if your not local to the area why worry about been seen going in  as for the crying baby I have never heard this anytime I've been there.This is probably the first negative report I've seen on Li but thats your perogative. Maybe your just pissed off because you did not get to grope her but if you found her that unattractive why would you want to ?. I agree she does answere her phone during the massage but I don't find that too offputting

[midsandy]

Sorry you didn't enjoy,

I visited  Li a few times before joining this site and never had a bad experience.
I have only ever been for half an hour and at her rates I always come away thinking she was great value.

[SlamBoy]

I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I have to disagree.

Okay. Let's see if you really disagree.

The area is not great to look at but I have seen worse particularly in London.

So you agree. Agrees: 1 Disagrees 0

It is a shop so not greatly discreet.

So you agree. Agrees: 2 Disagrees 0

Li is probably in her 50s.

So you agree. Agrees: 3 Disagrees 0

She doesn't allow touching, but that's well documented.

So you agree. Agrees: 4 Disagrees 0

Her massage is great.

So you agree. Agrees: 5 Disagrees 0

The HE is in my opinion very good not rushed and sensual. She will do prostrate if you like that thing.

You don't agree: Agrees: 5 Disagrees 1

Perhaps you put her off her game by trying to grope her?

Don't be ridiculous. Of course I didn't.

She is a very nice lady when you chat with her.

So you agree. Agrees: 6 Disagrees 1

Anyway it's my opinion.

Yes, and it's surprising that you came on here to DISAGREE with me when you AGREED with substantially more points of my review than you DISAGREED with. RESULT: Agrees: 6 Disagrees 1

I note your name is Retep64. Which is Peter backwards. Perhaps you are the 'Peter' that was trying to book during the massage. Probably.

[Jasonk71]

Everybody knows that Li doesn't allow touching

[mr.bluesky]

Slamboy 10 reviews  6 negative maybe your just too hard to please 

[Beamer]

Everybody knows that Li doesn't allow touching

Apart from Slamboy! Who seems to disagree!!!

[seandana]

Apart from Slamboy! Who seems to disagree!!!

   I Agree Beamer so that's 1 Agree and 1Disagree

[SlamBoy]

Everybody knows that Li doesn't allow touching

That is just plain WRONG:

I've seen a few comments on here about touching/not touching but first time I went I grabbed her ass "for balance" and she didn't mind. Not sure what else you could do but if i wanted to stick my fingers up anyone it would probably be a fit and filthy 18 year old to be honest.

I, of course, was not so impertinent that I even tried to touch her 'ass' as the earlier poster put it - but I had got the impression from the above that she might allow touching. She didn't.

That said - no touching is a huge negative for me. So it is right that someone put a negative review up of her so that future punters can be in no doubt that instead of having to read a gazillion contradictory reviews about touching, or whether someone tried or not, they can clearly read my review and see that LI DOES NOT ALLOW TOUCHING - and for many punters, including me, that is always a NEGATIVE.

[SlamBoy]

Slamboy 10 reviews  6 negative maybe your just too hard to please 

On the contrary. If you have read my reviews carefully, you would see that they are all fair and balanced. Positive where warranted. Negative where warranted. Each of my reviews is reasoned and detailed. I do not take petty points and I am not unfair. However, I do have certain standards and expectations (which are reasonable) and if they are not met, I review accordingly.

[Beamer]

 

On the contrary. If you have read my reviews carefully, you would see that they are all fair and balanced. Positive where warranted. Negative where warranted. Each of my reviews is reasoned and detailed. I do not take petty points and I am not unfair. However, I do have certain standards and expectations (which are reasonable) and if they are not met, I review accordingly.

Your reviews are your reviews.
They are fair and balanced according to you.
You are not petty and unfair according to you.
Others are entitled to have their own views.
Yours is not the only viewpoint.

[SlamBoy]

Your reviews are your reviews.
They are fair and balanced according to you.
You are not petty and unfair according to you.
Others are entitled to have their own views.
Yours is not the only viewpoint.

Read them. I can't write them from anyone else's point of view can I??? If I did, they would be fiction and not my review and be against the rules of UKP. What an utterly meaningless point to make.

I note you didn't address the fact that I highlighted a previous review that I relied on that stated she allowed touching - which blew your favoured comment "everyone knows Li doesn't allow touching" comment out of the water. 

[Beamer]

I made no comment about touching. That was someone else.
This thread is pointless and going no where.

[SlamBoy]

I made no comment about touching. That was someone else.

Errrr . . . you quoted it to support an assertion that I should have known that no touching was allowed (as you well know) even though there were reviews stating that touching was allowed (as I have quoted).

This thread is pointless and going no where.

It bears striking similarities to your attempts at argument then.

[denno]

  can we all agree to disagree ?

[SlamBoy]

can we all agree to disagree ?

Of course.

[Beamer]

can we all agree to disagree ?

Agreed !
.....but he will probably want to argue with that 

[Retep64]

I think that we would all agree that you ought to stay in London. I would suggest that with all the agreement you seem to generate you should go and see Mrs May. She needs some help with agreements.

[SlamBoy]

I think that we would all agree that you ought to stay in London. I would suggest that with all the agreement you seem to generate you should go and see Mrs May. She needs some help with agreements.

Okay Peter. I'll stick to London, and you stick to pouring your money away on OAP Chinese ladies who you are not allowed to touch. 

[Beamer]

Okay Peter. I'll stick to London, and you stick to pouring your money away on OAP Chinese ladies who you are not allowed to touch. 

......and he has to have the last word..........!

[SlamBoy]

......and he has to have the last word..........!

Yep

[Sigma]

Slam Boy seems to be a bit butt hurt this afternoon, maybe she slipped him the finger 

[brandonpete]

Slamboy 10 reviews  6 negative maybe your just too hard to please 

and 3 of the 4 positives are from the same place..House of Devine and 2 of them are the same SP.

[l1mpd1ck]

I hesitate to get involved in this sh*tstorm.  However,  there was one element in this report that rang true.  On a recent visit to Li in the early evening there was quite a lot of noise coming from upstairs mainly of a man playing with a young child.  Anybody else experienced that?
Might be new occupants or a consequence of enlarging her room.

The rest of the review was OTT. Anyone who had properly researched Li on here would have been well aware of her offering.  I've never found anyone in London who offers anything as good for £40.

[SlamBoy]

and 3 of the 4 positives are from the same place..House of Devine and 2 of them are the same SP.

Are you on crack? That would be against the rules of UKP. Please link to the supposed two reviews I have done of the same SP (you won't be able to as they don't exist, of course). By all means be critical, but don't be a bullshitter. 

BTW: It's "Divine" not "Devine" - I wish I could say the same about your spelling.

[SlamBoy]

I hesitate to get involved in this sh*tstorm.  However,  there was one element in this report that rang true.  On a recent visit to Li in the early evening there was quite a lot of noise coming from upstairs mainly of a man playing with a young child.  Anybody else experienced that?
Might be new occupants or a consequence of enlarging her room.

There you go. Fanboys need to reassess - loyalty does terrible things to your objectivity.

[Rodney you plonker]

My last visit it was quiet,the only problem being her CD player stuck once

[l1mpd1ck]

There you go. Fanboys need to reassess - loyalty does terrible things to your objectivity.

I commented that one part of your report possibly had some validity.  The rest of it was pointless.  Your complaint was about things that have been well reported on here and were no surprise to anyone who has seen her.

[mr.bluesky]

There you go. Fanboys need to reassess - loyalty does terrible things to your objectivity.

Says a man who has posted numerous  reports on house of devine 

[SlamBoy]

Says a man who has posted numerous  reports on house of devine 

Wow. Spelling isn't really the strongpoint of the West Midlands board is it? I'd already corrected an earlier poster on that very mistake and you jumped in and did exactly the same thing LOL! 

And check the reports I did on House of Divine - many of them are not complimentary. Objectivity - It's important. 

[SlamBoy]

I commented that one part of your report possibly had some validity.  The rest of it was pointless.  Your complaint was about things that have been well reported on here and were no surprise to anyone who has seen her.

Not possibly. Definitely. Nice try though.

So an honest and factually accurate review is 'pointless' is it? If that is your honestly held position, why not write to Admin and tell him you think the entire ethos of UKP is 'pointless'???

It sounds to me like there is another website that you might be more suited to. Your fluffy fanboy attitude and white knight disposition will be more welcome there. You can even end your reviews with "treat her well" and state things like "what happened then will stay between us" 

[SlamBoy]

I commented that one part of your report possibly had some validity.  The rest of it was pointless.  Your complaint was about things that have been well reported on here and were no surprise to anyone who has seen her.

Really? Not this guy:

I've seen a few comments on here about touching/not touching but first time I went I grabbed her ass "for balance" and she didn't mind. Not sure what else you could do but if i wanted to stick my fingers up anyone it would probably be a fit and filthy 18 year old to be honest.

WTF is wrong with you fluffies in the West Midlands??? No objectivity. You just don't like a completely factual report about a very disappointing SP that you (for some unknown reason) fawn over like little lovey dovey donughts 

[denno]

Beam me up Scotty 

[mr.bluesky]

Wow. Spelling isn't really the strongpoint of the West Midlands board is it?

Nowt wrong with my spilling 

[houseboot]

WTF is wrong with you fluffies in the West Midlands??? No objectivity. You just don't like a completely factual report about a very disappointing SP that you (for some unknown reason) fawn over like little lovey dovey donughts 

I'm not from the West Midlands, I haven't met Li and it's unlikely that I ever will.

As has been said about other Reviews, of other SPs, in the past, "Your Review is Your Review".

However, what your Review tells me is that you don't understand FBSM and that you went to see her with unrealistic expectations of a lady that's been well reported here.

A lot of FBSM providers don't like being touched and, indeed, I have experienced some ladies "jump away" from the table if you do touch them. Some though do then allow a hand on their bum as long as you don't then grope.

[Beamer]

Really? Not this guy:

WTF is wrong with you fluffies in the West Midlands??? No objectivity. You just don't like a completely factual report about a very disappointing SP that you (for some unknown reason) fawn over like little lovey dovey donughts 

You really are a first class prat and delusional.
...and you clearly don't understand FBSM.

[mr.bluesky]

You really are a first class prat and delusional.
...and you clearly don't understand FBSM.

  Beamer you've hit the nail on the head. What does he expect for £40 ?

[Beamer]

 

Beamer you've hit the nail on the head

👍👍👍👍

[SlamBoy]

You really are a first class prat and delusional.
...and you clearly don't understand FBSM.

I see. The lovey dovey donut tactic is the following:

An OP posts an objective review. It's negative. It is also factual. How to respond? Just a ridiculous ad hominem attack (look up what that means - you probably don't know latin in the North). How pathetic.

When I counter your assertions that "everyone knows there is no touching" with verifiable previous posts from the board that I relied on saying that touching was on offer, how do you respond? Just ignore it.

No wonder the West Midlands punting scene is so rubbish - you hobnailed-boot-pie-eating-navvies are satisfied with the worst of services and are grateful for it! So that's what you perpetuate! And you even defend it! Ridiculous!

Back to London for me.

[Littlefoot]

Back to London for me.

Thank fuck for that, ya muppet!

[Beamer]

Thank fuck for that, ya muppet!

Agreed   

[seandana]

Thank fuck for that, ya muppet!

               

[SlamBoy]

Maybe I'll get one of my punting mates to visit LI and review her honestly, just as I have.

If nothing else, having another (I would expect) negative on here for her would be worth it, to see the WM fluffies having kittens over it 

Who knew that northern punters only wanted to read reviews they agreed with rather than the truth . . . Enjoy your flat caps and 'chippy teas' PN awaits you all. 

[Beamer]

Maybe I'll get one of my punting mates to visit LI and review her honestly, just as I have.

If nothing else, having another (I would expect) negative on here for her would be worth it, to see the WM fluffies having kittens over it 

Who knew that northern punters only wanted to read reviews they agreed with rather than the truth . . . Enjoy your flat caps and 'chippy teas' PN awaits you all. 

You really are a first class Muppet. Since when has West Midlands and Birmingham been in the north.
I doubt with your crass attitude you have any mates who are not totally embarrassed by your idiotic posts.

[Rodney you plonker]

Been watching too many episodes of Peaky Blinders

[SlamBoy]

You really are a first class Muppet. Since when has West Midlands and Birmingham been in the north.
I doubt with your crass attitude you have any mates who are not totally embarrassed by your idiotic posts.

Someone just sent me your passport photo! Fluffy twat!



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[SlamBoy]

. . .  Since when has West Midlands and Birmingham been in the north.

Errrr . . . let me give it some thought Brainiac . . . ah that's right - it has been in the North whenever you are standing South of it 

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[l1mpd1ck]

Don't feed the trolls it only encourages them