External Link/Members OnlyBath Road, opposite Arnos Vale Cemetery, Bristol
I don't post reviews very often, I only seem willing to do so when I've had a bad experience.
I've visited Diamonds many times over the last 2 years, close to 20 I'd imagine, but this is the one time I've had a bad experience, one so bad that yes, I've decided to review her.
Visited last Tuesday, the 12 of March, half an hour in-call £60 & £20 Extras for kissing & OWO
Comms:Good, Receptionist is very friendly, offers an accurate description of the girls working. Was able to ring, check & reserve session.
Accommodation- AverageFor a parlour it's not too shabby, though nor is it the height of splendor. It's warm, which, given the current shitty weather is greatly appreciated. Shower was hot & uncomplicated to work.
Girl's Appearance- Very GoodElla is early 30's or late 20's but she's got a nice ass, a cute face, a tight fanny & a slender frame, a size 6 or 8 ( i dunno, i find it hard to judge, petite?) but her hair is all over the shop. It's obviously some kind of style I'm not aware of, sort of a dragged through a bush backwards vibe.
The MeetChrist. What a fucking shit show. So here's the thing, as a semi-regular at Diamonds when a new girl starts working there I'm naturally curious, as I'm sure many of you would be, booked a meet with the newbie & after knocking, she opened the door, it took quite a while. This should have been my first clue, the door it seemed was too complicated. I entered, said hello to the other working girls & receptionist & introduced myself to Ella, who found my name too complicate to repeat. "Hmm, hang on... Are you... "I stop myself. "Let's head upstairs then shall we?" I tried to remain as polite as possible with a girl who was clearly really very drunk. Into the room, I have a shower, "I'll be back in a bit, Ok?" she says, "Sure, I won't be long..." I reply. 20 minutes later, I've had my shower & I'm sat on the bed waiting, wondering if I should just throw my clothes back on & sack it off. Just as I reached for my shreddies, she stumbles in. I cannot get her to shut up & she's blabbing on about something or other & I'm trying to get her to pay attention to my little fella. She's pissed as a mattress.
So there is some awkward kissing, I can smell the booze, there's some awkward fondling & some awkward fingering & eventually she begins to suck me off, but not until she's missed my penis with her mouth by a good 6 inches & started to nuzzle into my thigh. This continues as she thinks it's funny, then eventually she sucks me off. A poor, messy, missguided attempt as oral, it's all teeth & no rhythm. I find myself wanking & just trying to stop her from talking. A lick of the cock, a convo, a little suck, a convo. Random as fuck.
Some Examples-
I really love Yorkshire Puddings
I like your shoes, where did you get them?
I used to have a dog called... (Barney? I couldn't quite make it out)
I really like Ostriches.
I. Shit. Thee. Nay.
It seemed to go on for forever. We'd gone well over the time. She put a condom on me. (Then I put it on properly) & she rode me a bit, it was awful half hearted shit & she kept almost falling off the bed. Finally I said lay down there & finger yourself & let me cum on your tits. OK. I've never more aggressively wanked myself off in my life as I did in the next proceeding 3 minutes. Like, properly angrily hate-wanking.
So bad, sooo, so bad.
I threw on my clothes as quick as I could, threw the money on the bed & got the fuck out of dodge.
It's a massive disappointment, avoid like the fucking plague. I'd rather wank off my own dad than see her again. I don't even want to say hello to her in the reception area. Unsurprisingly, a bad experience will do that for me. Generally Diamonds has plenty of good, fun, friendly milfs who'll suck you off like a dyson. Bad seeds in parlours seem to often last very long & I would say this girl is far from the norm service wise.
