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External Link/Members OnlyExternal Link/Members OnlyThis is a review of an encounter with a transvestite escort. Hit the back button if such things offend you.This wasn't a total horror story and I got on quite well with Erin on a personal level. But there are three big negatives:
1. Her pics are flattering to an absurd degree. Fair enough, we can all see she's paid for a pro photo session with nice hair and make-up. We can also see that she's no spring chicken. But really, her face looks nothing like that in real life. I almost walked at first sight but, having done that with another TV lately, decided to let this encounter play out for better or worse.
2. She claims to be "Fully Functional. Totally Versatile". This is not true at all – not with me, anyway. The most she could manage was a hopeless semi-erection of about five inches. I wanted to be fucked and she couldn't do it. This was especially disappointing because I'd brought along my recently purchased heels, stockings, lacy knickers, pearl necklace and auburn bobbed wig and wanted to have sex as "Harriet" for the first time.
3. I could not fuck her either. Normally when this happens it's because I can't get a full hard-on. This time I was solid as a rock, probably because I was having sex dressed as a woman for the first time (been building up to this for a long time, boys, and it definitely turns me on).
Erin has moved to Thornton Heath recently after years and years in Greenwich. I think I saw her once before, around 15 years ago, when I was drunk as a skunk one night. I definitely rang up a Scottish tranny hooker and found my way to a housing estate in North Greenwich, only to fail to get any kind of erection and more or less fall asleep on her bed. I recall her being irritated but surprisingly patient with me. I didn't allude to this during the new booking and there was no recognition factor in either direction.
The new place is over a shop and you enter via a side-alley. It's all a bit run-down, the flat was messy and it smelled of cigs. At one point she asked if she could light up and I said no, which she accepted.
Erin is very small with skinny legs and looks good in her wig, stockings and heels if you ignore her face, which has the slightly sunken look of a middle-aged and runtish Scotsman, which is what she is underneath it all.
Oral and 69 were OK apart from the lack of proper erection (it's a bad sign when tranny escorts are wearing a cock ring before you start). But when it came to sex her bumhole seemed far too tight for my average-sized hard-on to penetrate. I don't
think she was clamping herself shut on me but there I was nicely hard, all rubbered up and perfectly lined up to plunge inside and it just would not go in, either in cowgirl or in doggie. Damn.
Up to this point I'd presumed she would be capable of getting herself hard if she wanted to, but as soon as I suggested sex the other way it was, "Oooh, no, sorry love, you can see I can't manage it."
So after about 40 mins, we gave it a rest and talked for 10 minutes. She gave me some advice about dressing and this involved taking off her wig to show me the elastic fastening she'd improvised (she did ask before doing this and I said OK). Of course, this destroyed any remaining illusion of femininity.
So that was that. She charges £100 an hour, which is bargain-basement level for tranny hookers. But as I've told myself many times before, in most cases you get what you pay for.
Now if only I would listen for once . . .
