I was in the Bromley area with a free pass from the missus and a couple of pints in my system – so I fired up the purple pages. Which is usually a mistake, in my experience – and indeed, this was a slightly weird, and certainly unsatisfactory punt. £70 for 30 mins.
Coms: ok at first, comically bad at the end. Including me standing outside the property: ‘Nicolle - you need to give me the number of the flat!’. Nicolle has simply no English.
The girl: nicely put together. She is the girl in the pictures. Slim, toned, quite pretty, impressive fake boobs. Portuguese/Brazilian?
The flat: Warm. Utterly useless shower. Jesus. And the bed was covered in a weird slippery ‘sheet’ which contributed to the poor feel of the punt.
The punt: OW and kissing, it turned out, were extras. My two favourite things, FFS. I went at it with gusto at the start as I was drunk and horny – fingering, fondling, bossing her around. All that jazz. She wasn’t particularly receptive. Managed to get a hard on. Pointed several times at her mouth and my cock, so got a rather crappy blow job. I then struggled to fuck her – she’s just not a good fuck. What more can I say? I actually lost my hard-on at one point mid shag, which literally never happens. The slippery sheet added a layer of shitness to the whole affair.
She nearly gets a neutral as she was smiley and quite friendly. Not one of these WG’s who radiate hatred. But no, she is not a good service provider. Sandra Curly gave me pretty much the best punt of my long career last weekend – mind blowing - so I have a good frame of reference.
Nicolle sat on the edge of the bed at the end while I was getting dressed. She looked almost…confused. Odd. I’ve not punted one of these South Americans who seem to populate south London before. Not sure what the score is – do they just come over for a short time, then head back? Anyway, I shall stick to more familiar territory in future. Less of a Hurricane - more of a drizzly afternoon in February.
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