OK, let's give this a go. First time review long time perver.
Lately I have had an insatiable desire for a massage with a happy ending, (Never had the courage).
Booked one an hour and a bit away from My aboard in Kent. had to cancel coz I realized that was just ridiculous.
Next day I trolled the forum for a relatively close place to work, but far from my House, decent review on Mandarin Oriental Palace, so i took the plunge. (Now for the stuff you are here for).
Comms - Found the number after reading a review here. Rang the number prompt pick up and made an appointment for for the afternoon.
Receptionist could not understand when i said 1 hour @ half 3 (15:30). she proceeded to say 90 mins? to which I said no, (went on for 3 more times), I was at work so i just said yes in the end, knowing I would rectify this at the property it's not like I had paid. £45 for 1 Hour and £75 for 90 mins (bit steep).
6/10 - merely for prompt pick up and booking acknowledgement , but poor comprehensionLocation- Straight from work I nipped home quick shower and some ******
Off I went, Inputted the post code and away we go. With a few meters left on the Nav, I decided to deviet and start looking for parking instead, then walk to the venue. Luckily the is Mall parking right opposite the road less than 30 seconds walk (£2.20 for 2 hours). The place it self faces a relatively busy street, luckily when I got there a grey dreary day the was little to no-one walk outside, (differently than when I was leaving).
5/10 - A little too exposed for my liking, but if you get it at the right time it won't be too much of an issue. Worst thing about it is that there is a set of traffic light right outside so if the cars a stopped then it's a bit muchMeeting - Now for the good Stuff. Walked in all confident, pleasantries out the way. Told Mama-san (not actual name) here for my massage at designated time, she says "Oh yes, 90mins?", I said no I said 1 hour. She says OK then that's £45, I proceed to drop some cards on the floor, and hand over the paperwork. All good, get led to a room, which she then asks if I would prefer a slightly warmer one (I had not commented on the temperature, but it was a bit nippy). I am then shown to a room a few doors down. Told to wait for messues, I'm waiting for what seems like an eternity (probably only 1 min 30 secs). Finally a lady appears, roughly Mid 40's Terrible at the asian age guessing game. 5 Foot if not slightly smaller in stature. decent face 6/10 body was firm decent knockers which at this moment were hidden by the dress. Decent ass showing it's age though not as pert as it would have been.
Deed - Pleasantries out the way get told to undress ask if the shorts as well? (playing coy) She say yes. On to the bed I go, decent bed with surgery type tissue paper on top of bed. I lie face down hanging over the bed she chackles whilst showing me the opening on the bed to put my face. Massage commences, I am not well versed in the world of masseuse massages so I can't say if it was good or bad all I can say is it was satisfactory not quite what I expected but not too bad. Like I had said I had been reading a lot about massages on here so I was expecting the inevitable and CC Swipes that I had been told about. Now I had left My phone in my jacket so there was no way of telling what time it was but It felt like an age. I thought surely time was nearly up by now. Little to no indication that other services were even offered, besides long rubs on my lower back and buttocks, nothing was going. I had resigned myself to maybe this is just a massage, I kept on listening for the magic words, any little noise or question was listened to tentatively. Finally the words came out in hushed whisper; "body 2 body?", I said how much and can i touch and lick?(I know). Answer was "just touch and £60" at first I thought £16 which I gave a a £20 and said keep the change(hahaha). I know from reading here that a B2B should be around £45. Anyhow, finally caved in Iwas just gagging for a rub down now. Paperwork handed over. I then asked if I can touch and lick, She then reiterated that it was just touching, I said OK (I had paid anyway and was just ready by now).
Here is when it went from being an OK first time to
WOW 
. I lie down and she finally sees my man hood(he is half must at the mere thought by now), she comments on the shear size of it. I play along, saying it's not that big (it is relatively big). This exchange happens a few times until she decides to measure it with her hands (4 palms for what it's worth). Something to note is that the punt had been a relatively quite affair until then, Now it was back and forth convo. she straddles me leans in and her tits (definitely her best feature) are in all full glory in my face, I like them and she says just touch but by now I can tell she is about to reach the point of no return, the point where and bad decisions are made. She is now grinding on me (any semblance of a massage are gone, as she is whispering in my ear sweet nothings, she is telling me how sexy and nice my body is(not a gym bunny but in decent shape). By now her breathing is heavy and she keeps mentioning the size of my Johnson (comments that I am definitely the biggest she has seem in the UK), I realized this was only because she had been here less than a week. I then sat up so her legs were around my waist whilst she was facing me. She was at this point gyrating on my now fully erect member. I reach down and she re-actively took off her underwear, at this point it was clear that I had her. She sat on top of me just like before but now completely naked. A bit of more gyrating, neck biting (from me) boob grabbing and pussy rubs she was begging me to fuck her (but gently she says, hahahah). She pushed me down and attempted to BB me but I stopped her. Pushed down so now she is lying on the table and I am about to missionary her (I don't). I proceed to rub her pussy, outside first then clit and more finally insertion from my thumb (she moans and again tries to bb me). At this point I suggest that I should put on a condom, she replies that she hasn't got one, to which I said lucky you, I do. This is the main reason why I had gone home after reading many stories here I thought I might be able to convince the lady to FS If I paid 20 extra. I lucked out here no extra need, she was gagging for it. I give it to her (condom), she proceed to try and put it on with her mouth only to get a third way there and then try using here hands. It was at this point the
gods decided that my luck was done. The bag was regular I wear x-Large. She then tried inserting with the bag only half way there, I had to stop her. She was like I said earlier now at the point of no return (she hadn't been fucked in a while, if she is to be believed) then forcefully pulled it down only to rip it. I noticed this but she did not and in her haste, was about to fully cow-girl the shit out of it. I stopped her and then pushed her down, she murmurs slow (she thought I was going in raw). I proceed to finger her whilst she jerks my Johnson (she had finally resigned herself to the fact that she wasn't getting this dick). Still with both of us being horny mutual hand stimulation was now in full flow. All the excitement of a possible bang on my first sexual massage had been a bit for mister Johnson, Spurt he did all on her stomach leg and floor. We both looked at each other her with disappointment at just how anti-climactic it had been for her. Still she was jolly and a lot of Conversation was being had.
After the deed - Having expunged myself for the liquid of bad judgment, I was a bit jittery and she sensed it, she proceeded to tell me that she would finish the massage now (surprised we still had time). The after massage was OK, but after what had just happend my hands were now freely roaming her body with no resistance at all. Massage was finally over both got dressed with a lot of conversation going on now, she then handed me the evidence of the attempted copulation and told me to keep is a secret and hide it from Mama-san. She then proceed to tell me that next time I phone I should ask for ....... A couple of pecks and body caresses later we both left he room, One more peck before I descended the stairs.
All in all
8/10 Decent looking Masseuse, good could have been great first experience.
Only two negatives were that I thought the price for B2B was a bit high (not including the unexpected benefit). And also when leaving the shop it had gotten a bit busier and because there are traffic lights right outside It was a bit disconcerting for a newbie (I was too elated for this to be too much of a problem).
Definite Revisit
mandarinorientalplace.co.uk/contact.html
