Holland is, and always has, been only three letters removed from Bellend.
If you want to get to know Holland, here is '
The story of Holland' in a few chapters:
Chapter 1. The Big Tough ManHolland is a big tough man. And like a big tough man, he likes to act big and he likes to act tough. One day, he turned on his computer (probably the only thing he has ever turned on) and as luck would have it, he saw the opportunity to act big and tough in his favourite way - by speaking negatively about WGs on a UKPunting.com topic thread. He thought about what to write, and then, as if by magic, the perfectly big and tough words came to him. So he posted them:
Bitches are bitches.
'Yeaaahhh', he muttered to himself. 'That will show those bitches how big and tough I am!'
Chapter 2. The not so Big Tough ManHolland was very proud of himself. He felt a sense of elevated importance, virility and manliness. It was scant compensation for the inferiority he normally felt in the presence of women, which led him to act big and tough (albeit anonymously from behind a computer screen), but he was quite satisfied with himself. He had shown those 'bitches' who the big tough man was, he thought to himself.
But then, a remarkable thing happened. Another member of UKpunting.com disagreed with Holland on the thread and proffered an insult to Holland commensurate with the insult Holland had proffered to WGs. This came as a great shock to Holland, who decided that such insults (when directed at him only, of course) were absolutely unacceptable. He couldn't take it. Suddenly, his earlier sense of elevated importance, virility and manliness deserted him. He felt unimportant, flaccid and effeminate. Beads of sweat formed on his brow and his bottom lip began to quiver. 'What should I do?' he said to himself. 'One moment, I was the 'cock of the walk', and now, I'm just the 'cock''! But he had a plan! He decided disingenuously to appeal to the collective camaraderie of the members of the UKPunting.com message board in an attempt to deflect his critics, make the hurt stop, and for the nasty men to leave him alone. 'This has to work' he said to himself. So he wrote:
Persistent abusive language is not good for us at all.
But it didn't work. The criticism continued. Desperate for a way out, Holland just wanted it to stop. 'I know I say stupid things to compensate for being inadequate in real life, but why are these men so mean to me?', he thought 'it's not fair!, it's really, really, not fair!'. He logged out of UKPunting.com, slumped in front of his screen and began to weep.
Suddenly, he has a master plan! 'Genius'!He thought to himself. 'I'll show those horrible men what they can do with their criticisms of me!'. And he logged back on UKPunting.com and took action!
Chapter 3. The SnowflakeDrying his tears, and feeling very wounded and sorry for himself, Holland decided to appeal to 'Admin' to be rescued from the nasty criticisms levelled at him by those nasty men. He trawled though the message board and began to press 'report this post'. 'This will show them' he laughed to himself, 'it really really will - they will be banned before they know it, and I'll finally be left alone!'. This is 'over the top' and 'offensive' and 'Admin' must put a stop to it!
But it didn't stop. It continued. He waited and waited. But no one was banned. He couldn't believe it! It was 'soooooo unfair' . . .
People used to get banned for less.
. . . he said to himself. His plan had failed.
Holland had been found out. He had lost the very little respect he had on the UKPunting.com forum and he began to contemplate his low status on the board which matched his low status in life. 'It's all the fault of those 'bitches'', he thought to himself - because self-reflection was a concept alien to Holland, even when nasty men were holding up a mirror to him.
The End.
