Sue them under the Trade Descriptions Act .
Now that would be funny
It would be funny but obviously every court would immediately throw it out, as any kind of contract involving sexual activity is unenforceable in law.
Other punters have tried trading standards unsuccessfully (and amusingly):
External Link/Members OnlyAs far as I'm aware, the parlour and girl/s are under no obligation to provide you with anything, even after you've paid them however likewise, if you've received a sexual service but not yet paid, you are under no obligation to pay or at least no court would force you to.
As others on here have said in the past, UKP is basically Punting Trading Standards. As an experienced "inspector", I can tell you there are a lot of "cowboys" out there!