External Link/Members OnlyI really needed/felt like a proper massage to sort out my knotted and tensed-up neck and shoulders, but couldn't get a short notice appointment at my usual sports therapy massage venue. Decided to pay a visit to Salus in Weybridge as I wanted some semblance of a decent massage (as per some of the recent reviews here) and it's just a few mins from where I live. Also the thought of a happy ending may have had something to do with swaying me away from a qualified professional sports therapy masseuse - which I would have had to have booked in advance for nearly a week and a half away.
Called up, asked who was working and told it was Shelley. Arrived and was met by Shelley, okay looking but not a stunner by any term of the phrase - not sure you would look twice if passing in the street. I couldn't begin to guess her age, probably anywhere between her late 20's to mid-30's. Possibly of Chinese/Taiwanese origin? Again, I really couldn't say for sure.
Salus is a fairly new and decent premises with two rooms (I think) - the one I was shown into was very nice, dimly lit with an ensuite shower cubicle and a decent sized professional massage table. Opted for an hour's massage at £45.
I lay on the massage table face down and Shelley returned to the room and asked if I wanted soft, medium or hard - I asked for hard and she said there is a guy who works here sometimes who does very hard massage, would I prefer to see him? I am like WTF? No, no, no I reassured her. Anyway she proceeded to massage away and guess what - it was too hard and when she was using her knuckles and elbow it hurt and I had to tell her to lower the pressure. Ended up with a combo of soft and medium I suspect.
Anyway, lots of attention to the back and bum, and when doing the legs and inner thighs, plenty of CC swipes and brushing of balls and old boy. I was really enjoying it and getting into the "zone" when her phone rings loudly. Instantly I am left in the lurch as she rushes over to pick up the phone, silences it and then proceeds to spend at least another minute or two texting back on it. She returns to me but now I am out of the zone again and rather miffed. Also no apology - not a peep out of her.
Her mood and demeanour seemed to have changed somewhat after the phone interruption. She starts massaging me again, but this time with a lot less sensuality and a much more rehearsed and mechanical approach and less strokes to the nethers. As this taking place her phone is buzzing and bleeping like R2D2 again. At this point she tells me we have 15 mins left, so I suggest that I turn over. She sounds puzzled and questions me... "You want to turn over?", so I say "Yes". She walks around to her phone and starts texting again as I turn over. Then some very substandard rubs on chest, tummy, hips etc. and even at one point looking at her phone in one hand.
I am well pissed off at this point and really not in the mood for anything now. She puts down the phone and asks " You want extra"? I guessed what was available but asked anyway as to what was on offer to which she replied "Happy ending £25 or body to body £45". Well at this stage I was not going to pay the premium for B2B and didn't much fancy her anyway, so replied just HE. I couldn't believe it when she picked her phone up again and read a message that had just come in via more R2D2 vibes and bleeps.
By now I had completely lost the urge and was very pissed off. She started rubbing and tugging me but I was just not in the mood so told her not to bother and to just leave it. She said "Okay, we're done. Finished." and pointed to the shower as she grabbed her phone again and made for the door. I showered and left.
Obviously this is a negative for me.
Premises - about the only positive here, not that I could compare it to any other TCM place, this being my first time trying one.
Girl - neutral in looks,
very negative in service, what with the phone thing and mood change and all.
Massage - neutral, the strokes and smooths were okay but the over-forceful "knuckling" was not pleasant. The CCs were nice.
As mentioned above, this was my first ever visit to a TCM/Chinese massage joint and it will be my last - they are not for me, not worth the gamble. I'd rather pay the extra tenner for a proper deep tissue massage by a qualified professional masseuse and leave the fun stuff for when I visit with a professional, reliable, good looking and sexy SP, albeit more expensive but much better VFM in my book, and definitively more fun and sexy times to be had.
We live and learn.
