External Link/Members Only I have been leeching off this website for a year and finally posted my first review last week. Reviews on this website have often steered me away from WGs that looked good at face value. Since there has not until now been a review of British Milf Ruby, I made a mistake last week. So it's payback time to my fellow punters.
Comms: Good. Arranged by text, spoke briefly on the phone.
Cost: £70 for 30 minutes. My general policy is to book only 30 minutes when I am meeting a WG for the first time, so that when mistakes happen - and they do happen - they are not too costly. Occasionally I break my general policy and I usually regret it.
Location: Anonymous chain hotel.
First impressions: Very good. Facially very attractive. Nicely styled hair, big kissable lips. Might be a few years older than the advertised 31 but not enough to make a difference. MILF is an unflattering description of herself. Large breasts, big behind, big thighs, and the sort of tapering calves that you often see on Indian women. I struggle to describe women's underwear. Basically she was wearing lingerie that exposed her boobs, covered her mid section, exposed her pussy region, and stockings that covered her legs.
Negative #1: She pecks with pursed lips occasionally and unwillingly.
Negative #2: She stopped me from removing her stockings, mumbling something about her legs. I don't have many moves, but that is one of them. The funniest thought that has popped into my mind is that she has a Millwall FC tattoo.
Negative #3: She is a hygiene freak. I positioned myself to go down on her (another one of my few moves) and she asked me to gargle mouthwash first. She then applied some sort of cream to her front bottom before I locked into place. After I went down on her, she asked me to gargle again.
Negative #4: The geometry of her vagina is unlike anything that I have seen before. It was like a sunken cave with everything pointing inwards. It was not a good experience.
Negative #5: Every 30 seconds (I am not joking) she asks "is that good?" in her south east twangy voice. It is either a verbal tick or an indication that she is unsure of herself.
Negative #6: After a few minutes of very average OW, my mind was starting to wander to what was happening in the Premier League transfer window and I realized that time was marching on. So I indicated that I was ready for sex. But she promptly removed the condom and started to tug as hard as she could. So I just lay back, closed my eyes and thought of Kirsty Gallagher and Sarah-Jane Mee and that did the trick.
Would I return?: No, of course not.
