LAUREN 38 - Portsmouth

[BDiONU]

Not been reviewed in a while so time to give an update:
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The lady herself has asked that not too much detail be published so whilst Dr Connor will no doubt, in his inimitable style, call me a f'ing white knighting cnut    I shall give you what I want 

Comms are good, message on AW first to check availability, then texts.   Place is easy to find, parking easy, nice flat in walking distance from The Hard/Naval Dockyard.  Arrived 5 mins early and she text to say she was ready, give her a ring.   Gave code to entry to the block and went up.   Door opened very wide and I never seen her until I got inside.  Clucking bell!  If you are into sexy MILFs this is the one for you!  Sexy undies, stockings (as requested), heels & a negligee, very attractive woman, great body.  She is the woman in the pics although they don't show off that fabulous ass enough!
Kiss on arrival little bit of a chat and handed paperwork, told to put on the side.  Then I shall draw a veil!   Suffice it to say that if you're looking for a a horny MILF who, unless she is a great actress, seems to enjoy as much as you do then she is perfick.  Undoubtedly the best MILF GFE I've had outside of a real one.

Would I return?  Oh yeah baby, I'll be back!

[Muff licker]

Could do with a bit more detail here
What was the tits and pussy like and what services did you receive?

[wylie anchor]

Well that was complete waste of my time reading that 'review' 

[BDiONU]

As I said I'm not going into greater detail at the ladies request, which I'm honouring since I would like to see her again :-)   Think of filthy, dirty MILF who was almost dripping and really into it.

[Muff licker]

But this is the forum for going into detail so fellow punters know exactly what to expect

The undetailed reports go on AW

[vw]

As I said I'm not going into greater detail at the ladies request, which I'm honouring since I would like to see her again :-)   Think of filthy, dirty MILF who was almost dripping and really into it.

did she request you review her too?    :rolleyes:4

Did she go as far as to write it for you?

Saddo having digs at punters in your review.

[nigel4498]

As I said I'm not going into greater detail at the ladies request, which I'm honouring since I would like to see her again :-)   Think of filthy, dirty MILF who was almost dripping and really into it.

Don't quite understand why you would tell a prossie that you are a member of a review site.
Worst still that you agree not to go into any detail regarding the punt.

[BDiONU]

Don't quite understand why you would tell a prossie that you are a member of a review site.

I didn't and I wouldn't.

Worst still that you agree not to go into any detail regarding the punt.

This is my choice yes?  My punt, my review.

[Jonestown]

She has been around for 11 years and she had over 500 AW reviews and 5 previous positives on here, I’d have thought everyone in Hampshire and surrounding counties had seen her by now, so why the secrecy ?

Does look worth a trip to the coast for though.

[DrConners]

did she request you review her too?   

Did she go as far as to write it for you?

Saddo having digs at punters in your review.

I thought we had put all that behind us BD - Well I have - Have a think about burying the hatchet, we're on the same team aren't we ? 

Don't quite understand why you would tell a prossie that you are a member of a review site.
Worst still that you agree not to go into any detail regarding the punt.

I didn't and I wouldn't.

This is my choice yes?  My punt, my review.

Errrr - Yes you did :

1) Tell her you were a member of UKP

&

2) Told her you were going to be writing a review

The lady herself has asked that not too much detail be published

Did she proof read it for you too ? 

Look mate, your treading a fine line with a fluffy/touty toothpick here - But as you say your review.

Let me add my 2 pence worth - I tried to book her, she agreed to a booking 24 hours later.

I called her on the day - confirmed - Her voice on the phone was that of a pensioner, or late middle aged at least. She sounded spaced out & ditsy 

Then she dumped the meeting by text shortly later - Unprofessional to say the least. I haven't met her, I can't confirm appearances and I won't bother now.

I exchanged PM's with another member about an unrelated subject & mentioned this behaviour - I was told she has a boyfriend/partner.

More than a 100% chance she has unprotected sex with him - No thanks, you can keep this flaky GILF all to yourself 

[Brompton]

I thought we had put all that behind us BD - Well I have - Have a think about burying the hatchet, we're on the same team aren't we ? 

Errrr - Yes you did :

1) Tell her you were a member of UKP

&

2) Told her you were going to be writing a review

Did she proof read it for you too ? 

Look mate, your treading a fine line with a fluffy/touty toothpick here - But as you say your review.

Let me add my 2 pence worth - I tried to book her, she agreed to a booking 24 hours later.

I called her on the day - confirmed - Her voice on the phone was that of a pensioner, or late middle aged at least. She sounded spaced out & ditsy 

Then she dumped the meeting by text shortly later - Unprofessional to say the least. I haven't met her, I can't confirm appearances and I won't bother now.

I exchanged PM's with another member about an unrelated subject & mentioned this behaviour - I was told she has a boyfriend/partner.

More than a 100% chance she has unprotected sex with him - No thanks, you can keep this flaky GILF all to yourself 

Yes I saw her & put in a review here & she was awesome but at the end of the meeting she mentioned the boyfriend which was strange, after the event & my review & I thought no I won’t be seeing her again although ignorance is bliss as I’m sure there are many WGs with a boyfriend but not sure they announce it. Was weird.

[andyw1969]

I thought the idea of a review on here was to write an account of what the girl was like, what her communication was like , her time keeping, her appearance and hygiene and what services you received and how accurate her profile is or was - any hidden extras (OWO £10 extra etc)

Also have to agree why would you tell a working girl you were / are going to write a review ?

[BDiONU]

Hhhmmmm lots of wrong end of the stick here guys.  I asked if she wanted feedback/review on AW (UKP was never mentioned) and she said yes but discrete blah blah.  Hope that clears things up.   p.s. I hadn't made a booking through AW so not possible to leave a review.

[Spunky34]

Hhhmmmm lots of wrong end of the stick here guys.  I asked if she wanted feedback/review on AW (UKP was never mentioned) and she said yes but discrete blah blah.  Hope that clears things up.   p.s. I hadn't made a booking through AW so not possible to leave a review.

So if I read this correctly:

You asked if she wanted AW feedback and she said yes.

However you had not made a booking through AW.  So why would you ask if she wanted AW feedback?  And even when you asked and she said yes, you didn’t then agree between you to place one through AW so you could actually do as you had agreed? 

[DrConners]

So if I read this correctly:

You asked if she wanted AW feedback and she said yes.

However you had not made a booking through AW.  So why would you ask if she wanted AW feedback?  And even when you asked and she said yes, you didn’t then agree between you to place one through AW so you could actually do as you had agreed?

Well quite 

You know the stupid thing about telling lies BD is that after you've told the first one, you have to tell another & then another ............. before you know it you've forgotton what you lied about.

You've made yourself look really stupid here - disappointing mate 

[BDiONU]

So if I read this correctly:

You asked if she wanted AW feedback and she said yes.

However you had not made a booking through AW.  So why would you ask if she wanted AW feedback?  And even when you asked and she said yes, you didn’t then agree between you to place one through AW so you could actually do as you had agreed?

Correct because I've only done one review on AW and I hadn't joined the dots that a booking was required.  My subsequent text to her about not being able to do one wasn't answered so......

[ars.mav]

Was going to add her to my HL, but not now..

Sorry Lauren, if you're reading this thread 

[Brompton]

Told me at the end of my booking my massage was so much better than her boyfriend’s....WTF   

[Hantsolo]

One of the fluffiest reviews I’ve read for a while (not to mention full of inconsistencies in the argument afterwards) and have to say that the OP has lost credibility for any reviews he’s posted or will post.

She used to have a profile on POF, wonder if that’s where she met her boyfriend and if he knows what she does?

All very odd and doubt I’ll bother with her despite the OPs best efforts at touting.

[justf4fun]

The good bit
I visited her about 5 years ago and I would say that facially and body wise she is bloody gorgeous!
! would put her as a size 8 with lovely natural tits. She is well turned out and if you saw her in the street or a bar you would certainly look twice. She was chatty and funny and I really enjoyed her company.

The not so good bit
her service is very very vanilla and although I fancied her like hell I just could not get into the mood because despite the fact that she did OWO she made it very clear that as soon as the sap started to rise she would stop.

As I say gorgeous looking girl but just not a great sexual experience and isn't that what we pay all of this money for?

I hope this helps

[DrConners]

Told me at the end of my booking my massage was so much better than her boyfriend’s....WTF   

WTF indeed     

Correct because I've only done one review on AW and I hadn't joined the dots that a booking was required.  My subsequent text to her about not being able to do one wasn't answered so......

Your just making it worse - This isn't from me but another UKP member - he's hit the nail on the head I'm afraid :

One of the fluffiest reviews I’ve read for a while (not to mention full of inconsistencies in the argument afterwards) and have to say that the OP has lost credibility for any reviews he’s posted or will post.

She used to have a profile on POF, wonder if that’s where she met her boyfriend and if he knows what she does?

All very odd and doubt I’ll bother with her despite the OPs best efforts at touting.

Sorry BD, I think you've gone & done yourself (and the flaky gilf) no favours here 

On a positive I have put her on my blacklist so cheers 

[DrConners]

The good bit
I visited her about 5 years ago and I would say that facially and body wise she is bloody gorgeous!
! would put her as a size 8 with lovely natural tits. She is well turned out and if you saw her in the street or a bar you would certainly look twice. She was chatty and funny and I really enjoyed her company.

The not so good bit
her service is very very vanilla and although I fancied her like hell I just could not get into the mood because despite the fact that she did OWO she made it very clear that as soon as the sap started to rise she would stop.

As I say gorgeous looking girl but just not a great sexual experience and isn't that what we pay all of this money for?

I hope this helps

I appreciate your a bit of a shy poster Mr4Fun, as a member here since July 2015 you've been happy to lurk. That's something lots of UKP members do so I can hardly criticise for that but do you see how much you could have helped other punters by posting something before now ?

Thanks for the info though, regardless of the fact it's a bit late (better late than never  )

Don't be so shy about sharing - If it's factual & honest we will all be grateful - Cheers 

[Kimeen]

Hmm, well I might regret posting this but it is a genuine attempt to be helpful.

I visited her a couple of years ago. Too long ago to post a review. I don’t remember all the little details but I remember enough to corroborate what has been written here by people who have seen her.

I don’t recall any issues with booking.
Location was a nice new flat near the hard.
Shower was available.
As far as I remember Lauren appeared to be late 30s or early 40s but very well kept. Nice body and attractive face.
She is English and well mannered, not a thick chav.
She made a lot of effort to ensure I had a good time.
I do not recall if it was owo or ow nor if it was dfk, sorry. I would however remember if service was not as per profile.


I don’t recall any discussion of bf or partner but I would be astonished if a girl like her didn’t have a partner. Why shouldn’t she?

I have not returned mainly because I prefer to spend my hard earned cash on shagging girls in their early twenties.

Hope this helps.

[DrConners]

I visited her a couple of years ago. Too long ago to post a review. I don’t remember all the little details but I remember enough to corroborate what has been written here by people who have seen her.

Much can change in two years - She's probably jaded & over the hill for the job now.

Hope this helps.

Well no, not really but thanks for pitching in with your out of date information regardless.

No offense 

[sensualencounter]

Just seen her face pic on her profile, so putting it on her latest review for posterity.

Looks FAF to me, I have to say.

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[Zimbaman]

Oh dear BD... oh dear. Thanks for your AW style review. Perhaps there is enough in there that someone might find it useful. If they can get past the fluffy nature 

[DrConners]

Great fluffy post Mr encounter  - Get your eyes tested maybe ?

Just seen her face pic on her profile, so putting it on her latest review for posterity.

Looks FAF to me, I have to say.

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Why to curry favour with her ? Damage control on a fluffy prostitute approved review makes you look pretty white knighty mate - I can't believe you did this off your own back - but if you want to do a whore a favour............ 

I see a photoshopped to fuck misrepresentation of what is obviously a 50 year old something prostitute with mutton top arms & a flabby arse.

Yes I know I haven't seen her but I know photoshopped rubbish when I see it.

Better luck next time Lauren 

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[timsussex]

Just seen her face pic on her profile, so putting it on her latest review for posterity.

Looks FAF to me, I have to say.

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I did see her a few years ago and that pic is either photoshopped or a lot of years old !

the punt itself was professional rather than passionate with only the minimum effort made on her part - at the time I put it down to just not clicking or maybe a bad day. Not so sure now!

[sensualencounter]

Great fluffy post Mr encounter  - Get your eyes tested maybe ?

Why to curry favour with her ? Damage control on a fluffy prostitute approved review makes you look pretty white knighty mate - I can't believe you did this off your own back - but if you want to do a whore a favour............ 

I see a photoshopped to fuck misrepresentation of what is obviously a 50 year old something prostitute with mutton top arms & a flabby arse.

Yes I know I haven't seen her but I know photoshopped rubbish when I see it.

Better luck next time Lauren 

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Connors I have no agenda to curry favour and am no white knight. I haven’t seen her so can’t comment on what she’s really like. I saw her face pic and thought to get it on here before it disappears. This is her latest review so made sense to put it here. Glad that there’s a discussion about it as she is on my HL and from the comments here it looks like she’s not as fit in real life as the photo makes out. I thought she was fairly heavily made up rather than photoshop but I bow to your superior knowledge.

[Zimbaman]

Connors I have no agenda to curry favour and am no white knight. I haven’t seen her so can’t comment on what she’s really like. I saw her face pic and thought to get it on here before it disappears. This is her latest review so made sense to put it here. Glad that there’s a discussion about it as she is on my HL and from the comments here it looks like she’s not as fit in real life as the photo makes out. I thought she was fairly heavily made up rather than photoshop but I bow to your superior knowledge.

I honestly don’t know why they bother with photoshop unless they are hood at it. You can where she has used the clone tool to even out her many wrinkles (assume that’s what she’s doing - I haven’t seen her). Just look at her right eye... just below it the skin appears to blur into her hair. Her neck is just as bad. You can see where she stopped blending. It’s a misleading photo at best.

[DrConners]

I honestly don’t know why they bother with photoshop unless they are hood at it. You can where she has used the clone tool to even out her many wrinkles (assume that’s what she’s doing - I haven’t seen her). Just look at her right eye... just below it the skin appears to blur into her hair. Her neck is just as bad. You can see where she stopped blending. It’s a misleading photo at best.

Quite - More like a face mask. Reminds me of :



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[aronteo]

Jesus.........., I really have to thank you chaps, as I have to say in that pic she really looks not bad......

[Lauren2018]

Dr Conners, you have never met me so how you could possibly know I'm airbrushed to fuck is quite astounding. My telephone continues to ring daily, that's because I'm the fittest I've ever been and obviously still a very attractive beautiful woman. Clients travel from all over the UK to visit for an hour. Clients I've been seeing for years. And I find it quite bizarre why you tryed to book me considering I'm an old hag? So glad I cancelled you which is something I rarely do. And as for do I have bareback sex with my ex partner. Yes why shouldn't I. That's why we have sexual health clinics. Perhaps you should look one up.
Derrick 101 really getting boring keep banging on about my limited services. The ones you gave a 5 star review for. Ni What was it... "Lauren is what punting is all about. Fantastic, focused 100%. To now saying limited services?? If you really want that 12 inch dildo up your arse I have a friend who can do that for you.
Really all the brilliant reviews you lot have written and now just being dam right vile. Nigel 4498 I saw what you have been writing about me. You should be ashamed of yourself I was only ever good to my clients. This is shocking. I'm trying to find out who you are on my phone. You haven't heard the last of this. The law has a very long arm. And Bonetti. Yes I may have mentioned I had a boyfriend which was odd?. Well what's good for the goose is good for the gander.


 

[James999]

Derrick 101
If you really want that 12 inch dildo up your arse I have a friend who can do that for you.

He's repeatedly shown out as a fucking idiot, so no surprise in to hear he likes it up his shitter 

[James999]

. Nigel 4498 I saw what you have been writing about me. You should be ashamed of yourself I was only ever good to my clients. This is shocking. I'm trying to find out who you are on my phone. You haven't heard the last of this.

What did he say?

[Zimbaman]

Oh dear  this isn’t going to end well for Lauren 

Thanks for confirming you’re a dirty old barebacker though 

‘Clients come from all over the uk for an hour with me’

[Waterhouse]

What did he say?

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=234977.msg2400085#msg2400085

[Zimbaman]

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=234977.msg2400085#msg2400085

That can’t be it surely  hardly untrue or even offensive.

[Waterhouse]

That can’t be it surely  hardly untrue or even offensive.

That's all Nige posted from on it from what I saw. 

[nigel4498]

That's all Nige posted from on it from what I saw. 

Yep, that's it. Only stating a fact.

[secretoctober]

I would not book her again. I did once several years ago. Then got a text before the arranged time. Ranting on about ' you'll never get another booking with anyone in Portsmouth'. Fuck knows what i did to upset her. I only spoke to her once over the phone.
Went and saw Cherry instead.

[James999]

She sounds unstable 

[Zimbaman]

 

Love that the old goat is drawing attention to her airbrushing 

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