There was a discussion thread about this profile on the South East board a while back, and one poster left a glowing description that he had had with this provider. So much so that I was keen to try for myself. I duly emailed to arrange a visit, taking the advice on the board a going for an hour.
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External Link/Members OnlyI was really looking for a good quality massage, with the potential for a bit of fun and a happy ending with a classy older woman. The description on Fay’s profile was exactly what I was looking for. The picture is fairly non descript, but led me to believe a slightly older woman in good shape.
Comms: quick replies to emails, arranged date and agreed massage for an hour. You are supposed to let her know of any extras before you arrange. I thought I’d wing it though. £70.
Location: Southampton centre, right next to the itchen toll bridge (forgot about that one). Directed to pay on street parking, short walk to her flat. Reasonably discreet.
The girl: the door opened and I was faced with what I hoped was Fay’s dad. Short (right height for you DrConners) scraggly hair, massive belly, chunky legs, rasping smokers voice. Oh crap. The right thing to do here is walk. Or pretend to have a heart attack. I did neither. Our eyes fixed, I couldn’t look away. This had to be Fays dad. He was going to take me through to Fay. Rough voice, manly stature, I’m going to call him Barry. Except.... Barry is wearing stockings and seemed to have made an effort to ‘look sexy’ for me. I limply follow Barry through to the bedroom not really listening to the gruff voice as it talks about the World Cup. Fay isn’t in the bedroom. Fuck. My hand automatically extends and hands over the £70. There will be no extras!
The service: I find myself removing my clothes and lying down on the mattress as Barry instructs me get comfortable in his baritone. The gravelly voice informs me that she is sweating like a pig in the heat, and asks if I mind if the stocking are removed. There’s nothing I can do. I hear them peeling off behind me, squelching slightly in the uncomfortable heat. I feel Barry’s legs against my feet as Barry begins the massage. It’s awful. Rapid movements with no skill. 10 minutes or so before Barry wheezes into my ear in what I assume is meant to be sexy “turn ova luv”. I do as instructed. Not because I want to. Barry has hypnotised me. It’s the only explanation. Barry sits next to me and goes for my cock. Rough is an understatement. I look round and see the naked monstrosity fit the first time. Barry isn’t Fays dad. Barry is Fay 20 years from now. Advertised age 55, actual age mid 70s. The belly is spectacular. The legs horrendous with chunky veins vibrating and winking at me. The breasts are reasonably large, but they are Barry’s! I’m allowed to touch wherever I want. I do the only thing I can think of and cover my eyes. Both hands. Barry is furiously wanking my soft cock and clearly nothing is going to happen. Barry changed hands thinking faster is better as I’m really getting punched in the balls each time the fist drops down.
I have no choice but to take over, this just isn’t going to end any other way. I start wanking as Barry strokes my leg. I look up, and Barry is smiling at me. Well that just made this even harder. I closed my eyes and worked myself as best as I could. “That’s it baby. Cum for Fay” delivered in a toneless monotone. Back to square one. Twat.
I eventually manage the worst orgasm of my life. I was now released from whatever manic Barry uses to hold people. Got dressed and was out 20 long minutes after I arrived.
I was reminded of one important lesson here. Don’t be taken in by fluffy twat AW type descriptions, even on UKP. It reminded me that the robust nature of UKP is essential to avoid this kind of horror. Fay is undoubtedly a woman. Or at least was once. But essential details were missing from the other thread, and had they been included I never would have wasted my money. My advice is go elsewhere for a better massage. You will undoubtedly regret this one unless you have a real out of shape granny fetish.
