You know you're a punter when...

[anonyorks]

You're out for dinner and don't go for your usual spicy option as you're going to book someone for a punt including prostate massage tomorrow 

[mrfishyfoo]

You're out for dinner and don't go for your usual spicy option as you're going to book someone for a punt including prostate massage tomorrow 

Fuck that !!! The spicier the better.

She's a professional she can handle it. 

[Horizontal pleasures]

You see a money shop and wonder what they do out at the back behind the counter .... ?

click to enlarge to see the name

Hidden Image/Members Only

[threechilliman]

You're listening to the radio and you smile when you hear someone say 'I love a story with a happy ending'.

So do I.

tcn

[WhattheFlip]

When you're typing a web address and accidentally type .cim instead of .com and you chuckle

[anotherjohn50]

When a hot tie at work  crouches down at a filing cabinet next to you and you think..

"Go on then while you're down there "


Aj50

[WhattheFlip]

When a hot tie at work  crouches down at a filing cabinet next to you and you think..

"Go on then while you're down there "


Aj50

That's just being a former sky sports commentator

[bfgent]

When a hotel door opens and there is no one there, they are behind the door

[MrKeen]

You realise that you have got into the habit of being so careful that if you got run over, unless someone was able to break the password on your punter phone, no one would be able to find out who you were. Even with the password it would be difficult with PAYG.

[Sticky]

You come across acronyms in vanilla life that exist here and use the wrong version.

[MrKeen]

you leave a punt, walk to the street you left your car, see people standing chatting nearby and walk past your car, round the block and hope they are gone when you return.

[will-ow]

im not sure how many others get this but i now worry more about "flying low" after a punt

[Horizontal pleasures]

Not a day goes by without logging in to UKP and AW no matter how busy you are.

[markc65]

Not a day goes by without logging in to UKP and AW no matter how busy you are.

  +1  should be working now but what am I doing ....

[MrKeen]

You are so sure you have learned all the tricks about reading between lines on profiles,  looking for obvious internal contradictions, then the door opens and..... fooled again

[MrKeen]

You have learned to adjust yourself to enable walking through public places full on hard as you make your way to the WG's door, without it being too obvious.

[HornyHemel]

When a colleague asks if you in interested in CIM and it takes more than a moment to realise that they are asking about the Chartered Institute of Marketing.....

[raylondoner]

Maybe when a female friend says that she is looking forward to getting a facial or a pearl necklace? 

[Sticky]

You have to remember that mobile services aren't commonly called "outcalls"

[MrKeen]

When driving with OH in car, you reroute to avoid driving down roads or past addresses that have associations

[Horizontal pleasures]

You always carry more cash than is sensible for daily needs in case an opportunity shows itself.

[Horizontal pleasures]

Being with the OH on a summer tourist visit to Cambridge and you have to discuss possible punting.

[threechilliman]

You walk into a pub and immediately one of the ale names makes you think of Tontober. Had to be fucking careful what I asked for....

tcm

[Type_O_Negative]

When i do staff meals at work and someone wants cheese sandwiches with onion BB which means cheese sandwiches with onion brown bread. But when i see BB i think about different thing...

[Gynaemyte]

When driving with OH in car, you reroute to avoid driving down roads or past addresses that have associations

I'm the opposite - I like 'privately' re-living the memories!

[Neal69]

You enter your AW password on your works secure site.

Just did that 

N

[Sir Lance-a-lot]

Saw a local news article recently, apparently a local rugby team has recruited a new hooker.

Nice idea for a mascot, but it could end badly if the whole team gets taken out with gonorrhoea at the same time.

[newforthisyear]

When you open your internet browser and without thinking type adultwork into the address bar.
See a hot girl with a hand luggage sized suitcase by herself heading toward a hotel, start searching for who's on tour this week.
You drive past a known flat and see if the curtains are open.
See eastern european girls in public and try to figure out if you recognise them.
Make eye contact with a girl, in your mind your trying to work out if that's the same eye contact she gives when going down.

[Jvosta]

When you no longer masturbate after a hot civie girl shakes your hand.

You no longer go to nightclubs hoping for a 'grind'

[fredpunter]

When you no longer masturbate after a hot civie girl shakes your hand.

You no longer go to nightclubs hoping for a 'grind'

Some posts on here reveal a little too much about the poster I fear

[Silver Birch]

When you no longer masturbate after a hot civie girl shakes your hand.

You no longer go to nightclubs hoping for a 'grind'

Some posts on here reveal a little too much about the poster I fear

 

[roger987123]

you look at your bank balance every day and see what u can afford,    then wonder "do i really need to pay the mortgage this month"

[threechilliman]

....a woman says 'I've got a plan B for this evening' and wonder if she's double booked.

tcm

[LanceVance]

...you see an attractive young woman carrying luggage on the tube and think 'she's on tour...'

On that note, you know you are a punter when you see an attractive yet scruffily dressed young woman carrying a big laundry bag for luggage and you think 'freshly arrived Romanian'...

[Stew]

One of the guys off the shop floor was working away last week at a customer of ours and our firm put him up in a popular hotel chain nearby.
I saw him today and asked how it went. He described the hotel as being "ok I suppose" then went on to tell me of a sexy young lady and a middle aged guy struggling with the key card to get through a door. The guy looked a bit flustered too.

Immediately I said "hooker"

He said "you think?"

I said something like "yeah it's the kind of thing I can imagine going on." 

A non-punter would have thought "yeah those key cards are a pain"

[threechilliman]

...when you're presented with a night away and your first thought is to plan everything around a punt off your manor. 'Who to pick?'

tcm

[Horizontal pleasures]

You read the poster advertising a car 'Toyota Yaris, treat it with respect' and you realise that the advertising agent must be a punter.

[Sir Lance-a-lot]

Had a weird one today, I saw a hearse (no coffin in it though).  The back section had more glass than usual, not just glass sides but a glass roof too.

Ideal for dogging, everyone around could get a good view.

OK, maybe I need therapy.

[Horizontal pleasures]

...when you're presented with a night away and your first thought is to plan everything around a punt off your manor. 'Who to pick?'

tcm

too true
this last weekend even already, been there, done that, ... again.

[Home Alone]

When driving with OH in car, you reroute to avoid driving down roads or past addresses that have associations

Some years ago, because none of his family could do it on that day, I offered to take one of my neighbours to the Christie Hospital for chemotherapy. His wife's a nervous woman at the best of times and asked if I knew the way there.

I just managed to stop myself saying, "M60 to Jct. 5; down the Parkway; turn left onto Palatine Road, past Sandy's and turn right just before we get to Samantha's."

[the fitter]

When every area you are in has memories 

[fatboy]

When you see older blokes hanging around trying to 'blend in' and you wonder if they are waiting for 'that text'. 

[Punter115]

Being an older bloke ..... when I am out with the wife shopping and looking at all the young civvies going past from about 18 to 25 and thinking to yourself would pay x amount for her and another amount with her and what you would expect for the hour ....before I know it the wife is rabbiting away to me about something or other and expecting an answer and all I can concentrate on is the stirring in my loins.... happy days!!!

[Boringbob]

Just holding £100 in cash gives me a hardon

[webpunter]

   when i happen to have more cash than usual i do ponder how i can get rid of some of it - 30 mins with A & B, 60 mins with C etc.  Plus a quick R&T down the local chinese

Just holding £100 in cash gives me a hardon

[Sir Lance-a-lot]

Plus a quick R&T down the local chinese

Well, there you go.  You know you're a punter when thinking of "the local Chinese" makes you horny rather than hungry.

[will-ow]

seeing a bloke waiting in a car and thinking "waiting for a text" not the more likely, waiting for someone other than a hooker.....

[webpunter]

If an evening session before they close - which is usually by 9pm latest - then somehow i figure that a take-away [food not WG] is in order on the way home.  So its a chinese then a chinese

Well, there you go.  You know you're a punter when thinking of "the local Chinese" makes you horny rather than hungry.

[zulu-lance]

When the corner shop chappie enquires what do you do with a paysafe voucher, had to stop myself from blurting out AW

[Steely Dan]

When someone mentions a hotel, you are dying to tell them about the events the last time you visited, but instead have to pretend you are not really sure where it is.

When talking about planning a future business event in Europe, you suggest Berlin over Paris, but are almost unable to express why you were able to make this choice so easily.