This one is entirely my own fault. YiYi already has a review on here that clearly stated this was a B&S, so why did I call in the first place? Well.. because plan A, B and C had all fallen through and I was left looking for who was available now. YiYi was available, answered a text immediately, and my thinking was I know it’s a B&S, won’t be as described on the profile, and might actually work out well. Crap logic I know. Still, fitting that review number 13 should be negative.
External Link/Members Only or
External Link/Members OnlyI agreed 30 minutes for £60. For once I didn’t bother to ask about services as I figured there is no way they would be relayed to the girl. I turned up to a block of flats on a main road right behind the supermarket. Coms easy, and buzzed in. Greater in the semi darkness by a maid and shown into a back room. There, huddled in a corned, naked already was a Thai girl. Reminded me in some ways of Gollum. Still. I handed over the cash to the maid (who tried to up sell to an hour... umm no) and she left me and Gollum to it. Well... in for a penny in for a pound. I began stripping off, as Gollum watched me from the corner. I walked over to the bed, and she made space to join her. Now I was closer, I could see that she didn’t really look like Gollum, more like an oriental Michael Barrymore. I asked if she spoke English, and got the expected ‘eh’ followed by ‘very little’. She offered a massage which I accepted. It wasn’t a massage though, it was hitting my back followed by very fast rubbing. Enough of that, I reached round thinking I bring things to a quick conclusion.
Michael yelped! And jumped back from me. Ok, I knew my hands were cold (bloody freezing outside) but FFS. She aggressively pointed over to the heater and took up her gollum pose again. Great. Understanding what was required I walked across to the heater, that at best was pumping out heat equivalent to someone’s slightly warm breath. I stood naked, hunched over the heater trying to warm my hands up, while she sat hunched in the corner, staring at me balefully. 5 bloody minutes I was there until I thought my hands were warm enough to be considered acceptable. I moved back to the bed and Michael inspected my hands, judging them to be just about acceptable.
Clearly no kissing. Michael is not an attractive lady. One boob, now I can see her clearly much bigger than the other. Quite odd, but strangely engaging. I’ll leave them well alone though. She offered a covered bj which I accepted. Closed my eyes and managed to get ready for sex. Missionary and poor to be honest. I asked if I could come on her stomach, had to mime it but she got the idea and said ok. While I took the condominium off, Michael got some tissues and held them over her stomach. FFS. There followed what can only be described as cat and mouse. Me moving my cock around trying to avoid the tissues, Michael trying to make sure she was going to catch everything in the tissue. Well, the moment came... and fir once I WON! I fucking came everywhere. No way was she keeping up with me with a single tissue
she looked mildly upset and set about cleaning herself up while I dressed and left. I only wish I’d had the courage to take a leaf out of madamania’s book and treat her pillow to a clean up.
So.. positives... none that spring to mind.
Negatives... B&S, the most manly looking Gollum creature I’ve ever come across. Literally. Clearly not interested. Very misleading profile. Very basic services. Although you really wouldn’t want any more.
So... just in case any of your first plans fall through, this is definitely one to avoid. Although there is every possibility it will be a different girl(?) by now.
