Zen Massage, Upminster: Lauren - a thumbs up from me

[sparkus]

External Link/Members Only

Comms: always easy, very happy to field enquiries by text and confirm bookings.

Location: immediately opposite the tube.  As I walked from there I nodded politely to locals, who all paid their taxes to the London Borough of Havering.  In the distance, the Bow Bells peeled out to signify that I was indeed in London.  Dick Van Dyke chirped away cleaning windows, while Chas and Dave belted out tunes on a nearby piano.  Other than that, the shop shares its frontage with a hairdressers, one of which is a smirking twat who knows exactly what you're up to in there, so bear that in mind (I didn't stop to ask him if he felt any affinity to the cast of TOWIE, mind).

Basic deets, guvnor: 30 for 30 mins, rooms are servicable and reasonably spacious, with showers.  Walls possibly a bit thin, more on that later.

The girl: am a recent convert to Lauren and commented several times on her on here.  Quirky face and cute fringe, not much up top but delicious downstairs and shapely thighs and arse.  I could spend all day in there and almost have, several times.  Decided on the trip rather than make the most of Lisa at Toynbee' Street's limited window for the week.

I turned up and her and Marianne (sp?) were both on.  A bit awkward but I assured Marianne I'd be back and she'd soon have custom - barely finished the sentence before I heard the door and in Lauren and I went.

Good quality and consistency of massage but she knows that's not what I am there for, and neither is she.  Went to town on downstairs and she got quite loud.  So did Marianne in the next room.  Spoilt it a bit.

She knows how to make the most of her bits and before I knew it I drenched her.  Into the shower for both of us.

I paid up and sulked a bit that she's never going to let me in her.  She says I am first in the queue and the worst thing is, thanks to here, I know there is one.  She probably told you something similar if you've been more than once.

Almost bumped into the other guy leaving but got a sheepish look from the Brazilian at her door.  He didn't shower.

[Titti Tatti]

I'm another fan.

A couple of little things she does that build the tension. If she's working your neck with her right hand, she'll delicately place her left one right at the very base of your spine. Once she gets the oil bottle out she rests it against your upper inner thigh. In building the mood "Its the little things..."

I'm pretty sure the other girl is Mariana or sometimes Maria.

[finn5555]

External Link/Members Only

Comms: always easy, very happy to field enquiries by text and confirm bookings.

Location: immediately opposite the tube.  As I walked from there I nodded politely to locals, who all paid their taxes to the London Borough of Havering.  In the distance, the Bow Bells peeled out to signify that I was indeed in London.  Dick Van Dyke chirped away cleaning windows, while Chas and Dave belted out tunes on a nearby piano.  Other than that, the shop shares its frontage with a hairdressers, one of which is a smirking twat who knows exactly what you're up to in there, so bear that in mind (I didn't stop to ask him if he felt any affinity to the cast of TOWIE, mind).

Basic deets, guvnor: 30 for 30 mins, rooms are servicable and reasonably spacious, with showers.  Walls possibly a bit thin, more on that later.

The girl: am a recent convert to Lauren and commented several times on her on here.  Quirky face and cute fringe, not much up top but delicious downstairs and shapely thighs and arse.  I could spend all day in there and almost have, several times.  Decided on the trip rather than make the most of Lisa at Toynbee' Street's limited window for the week.

I turned up and her and Marianne (sp?) were both on.  A bit awkward but I assured Marianne I'd be back and she'd soon have custom - barely finished the sentence before I heard the door and in Lauren and I went.

Good quality and consistency of massage but she knows that's not what I am there for, and neither is she.  Went to town on downstairs and she got quite loud.  So did Marianne in the next room.  Spoilt it a bit.

She knows how to make the most of her bits and before I knew it I drenched her.  Into the shower for both of us.

I paid up and sulked a bit that she's never going to let me in her.  She says I am first in the queue and the worst thing is, thanks to here, I know there is one.  She probably told you something similar if you've been more than once.

Almost bumped into the other guy leaving but got a sheepish look from the Brazilian at her door.  He didn't shower.

I won’t report your post as fake this time but Dick Van Dyke was chimney-sweep Bert in Mary Poppins not a window cleaner 

[sparkus]

I won’t report your post as fake this time but Dick Van Dyke was chimney-sweep Bert in Mary Poppins not a window cleaner 

Sorry, I meant Robin Askwith.

[dieseldriver]

I paid up and sulked a bit that she's never going to let me in her.  She says I am first in the queue and the worst thing is, thanks to here, I know there is one.  She probably told you something similar if you've been more than once.

Yes, heard that too. We'll talk about it next time is her favorite saying. Twice brought the johnny- bags, but wast of time.
To avoid the smirking barber, ask to use the back entrance. Haha, but make sure its the back door your telling her, as might think another back entrance!!

[sparkus]

Yes, heard that too. We'll talk about it next time is her favorite saying. Twice brought the johnny- bags, but wast of time.
To avoid the smirking barber, ask to use the back entrance. Haha, but make sure its the back door your telling her, as might think another back entrance!!

I've heard it off enough SPs now to not care.

"Oh, period!"

The worst was one who agreed to FS by text then said on the flip that she'd never do it with a customer etc.

[triggs91]

I'm thinking of driving round there tonight but its about an hours drive from me. Anybody know a good place in Hertfordshire instead which is likely to still see me at around 8pm?

[dieseldriver]

Might find some reviewed in the East England section?

[triggs91]

Might find some reviewed in the East England section?

Thanks I'll try there