Melica massage - East Ham

[RAJEC]

This was hilarious.

Aching for another black massage so contacted this lady via text.

External Link/Members Only

Set up a time and had a pretty funny doing via sms.

Arrived at her ground floor flat not far from the tube and was quoted 40/30 and 60/60 with 20 topless tug in the Pre-match comms.

Stated by text 30 mins.

Upon arrival I was greeted by a mature (as advertised) facial train wreck that even I was put off by. I was so horny that I convinced myself t would be fun to be tugged off by a non-looker as SHE may enjoy it.

I must have mis heard her as she then decided to give me the most awful massage for the next hour. Although this included good touching of the sack, the rest was just rubbing my body as hard as she could. I noticed I’d been there an hour and said this to her to which her response was ok 30 mins a bonus for you but no HR. Agreed and went home for a wank.

All in all it all just made me laugh as she’s a lovely lady but the worst massage ever and a bullet missed I think. She also does the massage in her lounge which is littered with pictures of her kids and grandkids. A bit too much imo.

Will stick with positive as I found the funny side to it, but steer clear if you’re looking for anything sexual.

[jok32]

Reads like a neutral, but your review, your rating: )

[RAJEC]

Reads like a neutral, but your review, your rating: )

True and maybe my writing ability isn’t apt enough to convey just how funny it was, but it almost felt like it was meant to make me laugh. It could have been a horrendously bad punt, but the lady had good humour and didn’t charge me for apparently my mistake of saying yes to an hour when I said by text 30 mins

[Wankingdead]

Clear negative in my books.

[RAJEC]

Clear negative in my books.

You should see her and then review.

[bigone]

So how was this a positive?  Terrible massage.went home for a wank 
Negative all day long

[RAJEC]

So how was this a positive?  Terrible massage.went home for a wank 
Negative all day long

I just found it all too surreal to be true!

If admin or anyone wants to change it to a negative then pls do.

I know it’s clearly a negative but the ridiculousness of it all just makes me laugh (still)

[Fully Sated]

I just found it all too surreal to be true!

If admin or anyone wants to change it to a negative then pls do.

I know it’s clearly a negative but the ridiculousness of it all just makes me laugh (still)

Thanks for the review, I have changed the rating to a negative.

[Sinz]

Thanks for the review, I have changed the rating to a negative.

 

Must say honestly was puzzled with the rating and the review.

[sparkus]

As commented before, I have a one-off experience to report: answered door in basque and dressing gown (?!), did provide HE ("Do you want me to keep doing your back or turn over?") and detained me in the living room for an age to talk about dead husband.  No desire to return but I have had worse.

This was about five years ago, maybe more.  Apparently she's no fan of Indians.

[RAJEC]

It was truly strange but rather than some real shockers that I’ve had in the past that left me incensed, this one was just amusing!

I get the confusion on the rating etc, but I am just speechless still 

[Sunny]

Most of the mature black women who offer massage on viva street/AW/gumtree etc always seem to be advertising outside London

[sparkus]

Most of the mature black women who offer massage on viva street/AW/gumtree etc always seem to be advertising outside London

Happy to travel if you post links