Susan - Hong Ning Clinic - Chinatown

[conway_hound]

Location - This is the clinic at 7 Little Newport Street, London   0207 437 4910, close to First Cut Hairdressers. A typical TCM with all the vestiges of propriety with white-coated staff behind a counter in front of shelves of herbs, leaves, insect parts and the like!    email is [email protected] if you fancy dropping them a line 

Comms - As this was a spur of the moment thing, as I had a day off in London to seek some game, the comms were made through a sheet of glass, as an enthusiastic, well-powdered middle aged Chinese Lady waved furiously through the window to get me to talk to her inside. As I was freezing my nuts off today, cold and wet, I didn't need to deliberate too long to go in. She yelled, "how long you like?" waving a laminated menu at me (in front of some frowning customers waiting for some evil potion to be delivered by the smiling Chinese "doc)". Nothing like a bit of discretion ha!

Venue - Actually not bad. Was led up some steep narrow stairs a couple of floors into a small, room with ensuite shower. It was clean, and mercifully warm, as my little blue acorn was bluer than ever after walking round Leicester Square and environs for a while. In fact the room was nicely decorated with a few old pictures - it actually felt more homely than some of the TCM's austere broom cupboards you get wedged into for an oily encounter.

The Lady - OK well not an oil painting (but who am I to judge) she was mid-40's, a bit of a belly, average face, and her name was Susan. Looks (facial) 6/10, Body 5/10.  Fairly friendly, chatty and English better than some who simply don't seem to understand anything except the words, "what you like to pay me" and "fifty pounds".

Service - Was surprised that the massage was pretty good. Targetted at the tense spots and firm enough to be effective. Majored on the upper body down to just below the arse. From the outset her strokes were always punctuated with little fondles of the sack, so I gave encouragement by spreading as far as the slightly narrow couch would allow. Didn't spend much time on the legs and feet which was fine by me - not mad keen on that anyway.

15 minutes in, she whispered, "when we finish you like happy end" - to which I replied, "surely there is a bit more you can do", to which she said, "I don't do sex". Well that still left some scope for fun, so I suggested body to body with you naked. After a little hesitation she said the famous words, "how much you like to pay me" God I hate this opening as I am itching to say, "nothing, in fact you should pay me for touching me up" but I just said, "£40", she bid £60, we settled at £50.

25 minutes in (there was a clock above the door) she stripped off to panties, that I then pulled down, and she got onto the bed face down and said OK you can massage me. Couldn't believe my luck as I got on top and fondled her ass and pussy from behind accompanied by moans of , "good, good, velly strong"

Anyway 35 minutes in and she hopped off and started on the old fella. Quite nice as I could fondle ass, pussy and boobs (36B I think) without complaint.

One small criticism was the hand technique. Makes me wonder how she has done it for so long like this. Essentially she would make a ring with her thumb and forefinger (a bit like the A OK sign) and jerked it up and down the base 3 inches almost entirely. Kind of got me excited but no chance of cumming whilst the tip was wondering why it was pretty much excluded. Had to suggest that she might like to move the hand up a bit, which she got the hang of in the end.

A few rubs and a spurt later, and the deed was done. With 10 minutes left, she cuddled and chatted, and gave my shoulders a nice rub. Offered the shower and toilet but I declined.

There was another lady of similar age who was better looking in the face and body dept. but maybe next time.

Total paid £50 + £50 for the hour and generally an OK experience. Wouldn't say it was earth moving, but a low positive rather than a neutral.

Would I go again - I actually think I would, but only on the basis of "any port in a storm (with stowage needing unloading!) " rather than to expect an amazing experience.

Left happy enough with her card and went straight across Charing Cross Road to Pattiserie Valerie for a bowl of porridge and banana, and a well-deserved Latte. Well it was bloody cold ...

[Nawtyfella]

Very funny review

Was walking through chinatown the other night and thought god these places stand out like a sore thumb. I'd be too embarassed to walk in! Fair play to you!

[conway_hound]

They certainly do stand out, Nawty, and it really is hit and miss depending on the lady you land. The one 4 doors down from Hong Ning has a narrow door in which the most fearsome creatures stand and hiss, "you lak massarrr?" but you would have to be very brave to go in there, although they are reputed to be more adventurous  however it was so cold and wet; they were probably sat round the cauldron inside.

[sparkus]

Given the better options around, I've not graced any of these shops since I first discovered TCM.  I venture back to see if there's any reason to and there never is.

I think I must have to have some 'aura' of repeat custom as I've had "You want massaaaaage?" shouted at me without even looking in that door and I just glanced down Little Newport Street from a bus stuck on Charing Cross Road and a woman in a red puffa jacket popped her head round from the door and made eye contact and mouthed the words to me through the bus window!

(I've ventured in twice and fled at seeing who'd be doing it)

[conway_hound]

Gives new meaning to "chasing the dragon",  Sparkus.

 

[neilri2001]

Interesting Hong Ning related experience earlier this week. I happened to glance through the window as i made my way to a lunch engagement in Chinatown. About a minute or so later when i am in the small square where the pagoda used to be and is now the site of the communal seating i became aware of someone rapidly approaching from behind. I turned just as the massage lady from the shop grabbed hold of my arm. She had obviously recognised me as a previous customer as i had passed the shop and thought i was good for a repeat booking. She identified herself as Nana but i am fairly certain that i had only seen her once before, many years previously when she was providing cover at Well Health Paddington under a different name. There then followed a slightly awkward couple of minutes where she repeatedly implored me to go back to the shop with her whilst not letting go of my arm. Unfortunately Nana came across as slightly desperate and although it didn't develop into " a scene " people were definitely looking at us.

My one and only visit to the shop was many years ago ( possibly not even branded as Hong Ning at the time ) was far from memorable so i had never been in a hurry to return despite being in the area fairly frequently

[daviemac]

Interesting Hong Ning related experience earlier this week. I happened to glance through the window as i made my way to a lunch engagement in Chinatown. About a minute or so later when i am in the small square where the pagoda used to be and is now the site of the communal seating i became aware of someone rapidly approaching from behind. I turned just as the massage lady from the shop grabbed hold of my arm. She had obviously recognised me as a previous customer as i had passed the shop and thought i was good for a repeat booking. She identified herself as Nana but i am fairly certain that i had only seen her once before, many years previously when she was providing cover at Well Health Paddington under a different name. There then followed a slightly awkward couple of minutes where she repeatedly implored me to go back to the shop with her whilst not letting go of my arm. Unfortunately Nana came across as slightly desperate and although it didn't develop into " a scene " people were definitely looking at us.

My one and only visit to the shop was many years ago ( possibly not even branded as Hong Ning at the time ) was far from memorable so i had never been in a hurry to return despite being in the area fairly frequently

You should post that as a negative review, being accosted in the street by someone touting for business is not on.

[golden bull]

You should post that as a negative review, being accosted in the street by someone touting for business is not on.

Yeah imagine if you were with friends or family…. There’ll be some explaining to do.

[Taxi Driver]

This place was notorious during lockdown. It was virtually the only shop blatantly open with ladies desperate to make eye contact like heat seeking missiles. I’ve been many years ago. Sounds like their stair case is still something of a death trap.. it was like climbing Everest. It’s worth pointing out that they sell a lot of herbs which worked wonders for me and had me feeling like a twenty something again!

[neilri2001]

Yeah imagine if you were with friends or family…. There’ll be some explaining to do.

I am a fairly regular visitor to Chinatown. When by myself i often get the "massage" whispers as i go about my business but have never once been accosted when " En famille"

[sparkus]

I am a fairly regular visitor to Chinatown. When by myself i often get the "massage" whispers as i go about my business but have never once been accosted when " En famille"

Yeah, I've had a few sidle up in puffa jackets and coo 'Massage?' to me as well.  Just laughed it off really, an urban menace up there with the DVD sellers a decade ago (and you sure as fuck wouldn't want to punt any of them).