External Link/Members OnlyComms: Not so good, poor English, I talked about the services I was after but wasn't sure I had been clearly understood, however the upbeat tone of voice (and the fact that little brain was making the decisions), made me press on.
Venue: Hard to find flat, in a hard to find block, off the hard to navigate one-way-system-from-hell, that is Gravesend
WG: Beer barrel figure, belly protruding far in front of boobs, it is her in the pics - but they are carefully angled, 'carpet-du-pub' perfume, face ok.
Punt: Where to start?
I had booked on AW. Price stated there was 80 quid for 30 mins all in.
Alma asked for 70 - I said ok
Shower wasn't offered and I was told to get undressed in the shabby room. I did.
She comes back in, we get on the bed, it breaks under our combined weight, she blames me.. we press on.
She starts trying to put a condom on for covered oral (nothing like the services listed in the profile!)
I say I'd rather we started with rimming.... "what is rrrim-ink ? " she says. Here we go...
After a 'Give-Us-Clue' style explanation the penny drops and she becomes quite angry.
Informs me there is no way she's doing that - and that even a bj is covered.
She tells me she will get the AW profile altered in the morning.
Not much consolation to me as I had driven for about 1hr ......................on we press..
I ask her to
gently lick my balls...she begrudgingly agrees.
What came next shocked me...she basically bit my right bollock. It fucking hurt
I encouraged her not to do that again
The atmosphere was getting icy and my dick was doing a scared tortoise impression.
After another minute or two of heavy handed wanking and borderline aggression from her - I said never mind.
As I had come for rimming and swallowing (not ball breaking & cock torture), I asked for a refund.
"What is re-fun" here we go...
I wasn't going to keep on as I was just happy to get out with both bollocks attached, but unbelievably she comes back in with 20 quid (so 'only' 50 wasted then)..
I walked.
On the way back to the car (9.30pm, November, run down quayside part of Gravesend ) I
think 3 herberts were considering mugging me. Possibly the look of 'post-bad-punt' anger on my face (and the car key shank between knuckles, displayed as I walked past em) may have been all that saved me.
This last part isn't the WG's fault of course - and I am not a violent person, but I include it as 'venue' is a consideration in these reviews -and I did not feel safe on the way in or out.
From the bed breaking to the uncomfortable return to the car - my worst punt in a long fucking career.
If your considering her - I strongly advise you to give it a swerve
