External Link/Members Only(My first review so a bit of background - had my punting baptism in FKK Samya a couple of years ago, had my first punt here in the summer then been punting more in the last couple of months. Very grateful to everyone who's posted their reviews and other info so am going to try to not be a lurker and give something back).
This was my 10th ever punt and my first truly crap one ...
Feeling quite horny after a long day at work I checked to see who was available locally. Thought Kelly looked quite cute from her pic (I know, I know, but this was going to be a cheapie session so I thought what the hell) plus from this review
https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=148648.msg1628384#msg1628384 I thought she was worth a try. Texted to ask if she was free for an hour (I typically ask for an hour as I like to take my time and usually come a couple of times), she texted back with her postcode saying yes.
I walk up to the postcode and call her. She texts back with her door number. I ring the bell and am greeted by Kelly. Definitely the girl in the photos and not the worst face but considerably tubby and dressed just in a cheap top and leggings like she'd just nipped out to the shops.
She ushers me up to the room and asks me how long. One hour, I reply. Ohhh ... noooo, she says, it's late, too long - er, half an hour, I ask? Mmmm, 15 minutes? she says. Right, the little head thinks, I've made the arrangement and popped a viagra, 15 minutes, fine, at least I'll get my end away. So I hand over £40 and start to undress.
She comes back from having stashed the money and strips to her bra with no ceremony whatsoever, and gestures to the bed. Oral with or without? she asks. Now normally I would always ask to take a shower at the start of a punt - I wouldn't want to put my unwashed sweaty grimy long-day-in-London cock in someone's mouth - but obviously I wasn't going to do so in 15 minutes. So I'm like, what? OW surely? And she's like, OWO is fine if you prefer. So I said, oh ... okay, OWO then. And I do try not to judge but in my head I was lying there thinking that that was really kinda skanky.
Anyway, she gets on with it, and to be fair, as OWO goes, it was not bad and in fact I could feel she was going to make me come fairly quickly. So I ask if we can have sex and she goes to put the condom on. She'd fully retracted my foreskin so I try to explain that as I suffer from phimosis it can be painful if it's retracted - I mean I didn't put it like that, more like, oh my foreskin, it hurts if it's back, and she looked at me blankly before saying, my English, very bad .......... Every other SP I've been with has been has been really great at knowing how to deal with this. I don't think it's that uncommon and it just means they have to adjust their technique a lttle bit. But Kelly really didn't take any notice of it at all and looked surprised when I started miming my explanation of what the deal was!
I sorted myself out and got the condom on and went into mish. And I mean this was properly grim pump and dump territory, thrusting away at an inert, blobby body while she looked around the room, checking back a couple of times to see if I was looking at her and then immediately looking away again. I could feel myself getting near and my first instinct was to try to prolong it a little bit to increase my pleasure. But then I thought, what the hell am I doing?? So I finished, clambered off, took the proffered wet wipe, gave myself a rub (if only I'd just done that to start with ...
) while she put her Primark leggings back on, got dressed, and went home.
Writing it down it sort of seems like it was all a fair deal. And apart from the 1 hour becoming 15 minutes, there was no dishonesty involved. Well that and the service offered being nothing like what was advertised. (I know it was only 15 mins so of course GFE wasn't on offer but I just can't imagine a longer session being fundamentally any better). However the whole thing was totally unsexy and sordid feeling, with no attempt to make it anything other than brutally transactional.
(To be fair, so much was it the model of the crap, grim, cheap pump n dump punt that I did have quite a chuckle to myself while she went to dispose of the condom. You have to laugh ... )
PROS
Not the worst comms
Actually not terrible OWO
I did technically have sex with a girl
Was home with my feet up within 45 minutes of leaving the house
CONS
Not attractive with a podgy figure
Awful, passive grim sex with no attempt to disguise her basically not really wanting it
Apologies for the essay. Finding my feet! Hoping to make my next one a positive ......
