External Link/Members OnlyCringing writing this. Trying to mind what possessed me to visit the above but Plan A, B and C had let me down and was only in the area for a short time with work and came across this profile. I am partial to a massage so decided to drop her a text. Immediate response with postcode and directions for arrival. Shes behind a shop in the M34 area.
I arrived at agreed time and followed the directions round to the back of the shop. Soon as I opened the gate, the door opened and an older dude walked out (sorry if that was you last week!). Gave him a knowing smile and an "alright" and proceeded to the door. She did apologise and said the last booking overran. The pictures don't do her justice though, its much much worse. I should have walked but had the horn and figured I was only there for a massage so she might be an expert in that field, experienced and all that.
Shes a big girl as the photos suggest and was told to strip and jump up on the massage table. Handed over £40 for a half hour (was meant to be an hours but no danger that was happening). She had the same outfit on as in her main pic. She stashed the cash and came back over the table which was situated in a large room which is the one you walk into from the front door.
She gave me a rub down if you could call it that. Was more like wiping my back and legs. Then came a feather duster which was used to polish my arse crack and really didn't do anything for me. Was just a little annoying and tickly but certainly no sensations were produced from it. Duster away and another wipe of my arms, back and legs which went on for ages. Got bored in all honesty. Asked to turn over and she started OW. Looking down I just found the whole thing quite sad. She states 55 but I think shes older and should be enjoying her golden years, not putting up with us reprobates in this business.
Anyway technique was ok but it was only when I closed my eyes and thought of anyone else that I got hard and came about 10 minutes later. Has to be a negative as in all honesty I didn't enjoy any part of the booking and this isn't down to her age purely, as she states this in her profile, but it was the worst massage I have ever had and even at £40 she is over charging.
