Lovely Hot Suzy (Lapdancer)-Docklands - Thanks I'll give up punting for a while.

[mrx007]

I thought about this being a neutral but, fuck it, the way I see it enough neutral points add up to a negative.

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Wondered about this girl for a LONG time, due to her supposed oral prowess...Due to her 30 minute rate being £90 and a bit much for me I saw she now does 15 minute OWO/CIM "quickies" at £60 so thought she was worth a punt.

Comms: Couple of texts and a phone call - no answer but third time on the text and I was in luck...

Venue: Nice flat in Docklands near Crossharbour station. I say nice meaning the block is impressive but the flat is like every other I've ever been in in the area: basically a modern flat. Anyway I'm not buying it so that's enough.

Parking: Important to me as I don't know what public transport is. You can park in the road a few 100 metres away after 5.30pm in the week or all day Sunday. I think Saturday all day too. In any case you can park in the local ASDA car park (not sure if you have to pay or buy anything in there).

The Girl: Well, for once she is a pretty good looking girl. Pretty rare to say better than her photos (you can see her face in her private gallery). I was surprised she was slightly prettier than her pics and looked younger than I was expecting. Super slim with a nice butt, small tits.

First warning sign: She just looked completely uninterested in anything. She just had a "look" that suggested she was detached. First signs are always right....

Out of politeness I asked her if I should have a shower even though I had one before I left home. I had one because I thought it gets me cleanliness brownie points and shows some respect for a girl that's about to nosh on my cock and balls. Wonder where this courtesy will ever get me?

Before I showered Suzy stuck her hand out and I put 60 of my hard-earned notes into her hand. On reflection I wish it had been sixty £1 coins - the weight of which may have inspired some emotion form her fucking completely disinterested face.

Got out of the shower, Suzy dropped to her knees and began sucking my limp member. Now I must say, technically an attractive girl noshing the cock should make it hard quickly but I tend to need some stimulation first. If a girl does this it kind of stops me getting going as well as it could.

I had to suggest everything: " can we be in view of the mirror? can you get your tits out? can you lick my balls? etc. As for ball licking and sucking, I'd say if a fruit fly (the little ones you can hardly see) landed on my sack I'd feel that more than her mouth and tongue such was the lack of effort she put into it.

OK she sucks deep and I don't mind her strange humming while she sucks (what the fuck that is about I don't know). She started wanking it a bit so I started wanking and she kept putting her mouth around it, hoping I was about to cum so I could get the fuck out of her flat no doubt. This interrupted me a bit too.

Anyway I managed to start cumming in her mouth but I usually have a massive cum after the initial small spurt but by then Suzy had run off into the bathroom.

When I was leaving, not even the suggestion of a peck on the cheek, just a distant "blowing me a kiss from her hand". What's that worth? Fuck all.

So here are the "neutrals": no interest from Suzy, not even any rubbish small talk, lack of ball attention, has to be told everything, disappeared before the full cum so I had to go home and wank the rest out.

Great looking girl. Looked jaded and probably was.

This taught me one thing: you can be in the presence of a hot girl with guaranteed CIM and still feel like "what the fuck am I doing here?" and in truth, seeing her expression whe I walked in I should have just fucked off there and then.

I've punted a lot less this year and I'll take a break now. It's not the money so much as the complete lack of fulfilment. Fuck me if I want to be disappointed I'll get married...

Another waste of time....

[Bangers and Gash]

Cheers for review.  Easily reads as a 101% negative.

I've punted a lot less this year and I'll take a break now. It's not the money so much as the complete lack of fulfilment. Fuck me if I want to be disappointed I'll get married...

Yup, I hear you. There's so many unskilled and unenthusiastic pro$$ies on AW to choose from. It reminds me of a quote from a fellow UKP member who wrote along the lines of, ''I sometimes wonder why I bother fucking these whores.'' 

[Sinz]

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[BootsnBunches]

Cheers for review.  Easily reads as a 101% negative.

Yup, I hear you. There's so many unskilled and unenthusiastic pro$$ies on AW to choose from. It reminds me of a quote from a fellow UKP member who wrote along the lines of, ''I sometimes wonder why I bother fucking these whores.'' 

I know what you mean. That's what I felt like after punting Danielle at Hod last week, a report for which follow when I get time.

I met Suzy twice in my early days. She was good then. I enquirers about returning recently. As he page contradicts itself I asked her to confirm service and prices. When I didn't reply she sent me an abusive message so off the hot list for good now. A shame as it was probably the best owo I've ever had and she managed if for 45 mins once before she took a facial. Happy days.....

[LLPunting]

Sorry for the shit punt mate.  Suzy's been around for decades.

If you're after a decent CIM from a willing and engaged lady then you could do worse than Molly (ok, you did worse, sore point)
 She's a pretty Asian in Earls Court listed with the usual agencies. Your politeness should work well with her but do be assertive.

Better luck next time.

[peter purves]

First warning sign: She just looked completely uninterested in anything. She just had a "look" that suggested she was detached. First signs are always right....

This taught me one thing: you can be in the presence of a hot girl with guaranteed CIM and still feel like "what the fuck am I doing here?" and in truth, seeing her expression whe I walked in I should have just fucked off there and then.

Sorry to hear mate, but a nicely written, humorous review nonetheless!!

Fully agree with the above sentiment about the 'first signs' 

[BootsnBunches]

Sorry to hear mate, but a nicely written, humorous review nonetheless!!

Fully agree with the above sentiment about the 'first signs' 

Been in the business too long and more willing to work for the bankers who book long sessions I guess

[hendrix]

Sorry to hear that, sounds like she should call it a day. Definitely a negative, and hopefully when you punt again, it'll be a lot better

It's funny that a few years ago I was weighing up two bids on my reverse booking - one from Suzy, who was highly rated at that time, and one from an unknown girl (at that time)  that turned out to be MissKDD

[Avg_Joe]

OK she sucks deep and I don't mind her strange humming while she sucks (what the fuck that is about I don't know)

that's a vibration thing, if done right it can be quite good, especially if your buried in her throat and it's squeezing your bell end when she starts humming 

[mrx007]

Been in the business too long and more willing to work for the bankers who book long sessions I guess

That's probably why she looked so disinterested: I'm of no consequence as I'm not spending much.

TBH as soon as I saw her totally disinterested expression I should have about-faced out of there.

[BootsnBunches]

That's probably why she looked so disinterested: I'm of no consequence as I'm not spending much.

TBH as soon as I saw her totally disinterested expression I should have about-faced out of there.

It's difficult to do though for so many reasons. Better luck next time! It's a shame as she was great the first time I met her. I seem to recall that was for an hour so perhaps that helped. Why advertise a 15 minute service though if you're not comfortable doing it.

[Alitis]

Suzy has been around for more than I can remember.  She was good in the early days after she switched to escorting from stripping.

She became jaded and it has been documented in a number of reviews. 

[FilthyMilky]

I met Suzy twice in my early days. She was good then. I enquirers about returning recently. As he page contradicts itself I asked her to confirm service and prices. When I didn't reply she sent me an abusive message so off the hot list for good now. A shame as it was probably the best owo I've ever had and she managed if for 45 mins once before she took a facial. Happy days.....

I know what you mean.  I've had about half a dozen decent 1hr punts with her over last 4 years and confirm I used to find her OWO, attitude and overall service very good.  But the past 6 months comms have been difficult and a bit hit and miss.  Not sure what this new "wait outside the restaurant" thing is all about, which was new to me last time I attempted to make a booking even though I'd met her several times in the past.

One thing to note was that I think more often then not when doing anal there would be "mess" when pulling out.  Granted I know it's a risk you take but it is rather off putting and a bit of a mood killer, plus when you're charging extra, informed well before that you want anal and still consistently don't take precautions to avoid this happening it's not a great sign. 

Well fuck me- I dared to ask at the time of making a booking a few months ago if she could do what she can to avoid messy situation.  After all I've had much harder anal with others (such as CutestLucy and Maggie21 among others) and never had this happen.  She said "maybe cancel the booking this time".  I thought fine, maybe she doesn't have time.  But said sorry to offend and happy to still meet without anal.  No response, then a month later tried to make another booking and was told "Don't bother me again please".  So guess I hit a nerve for pointing out the obvious. 

Shame as she was always a decent punt as I say and would have liked to meet her again but it doesn't sound like I'm missing much nowadays.

[pepsicolaboy]

Sorry for your shit punt

When I saw her this year, I got some rude txts and dont contact again for some arbitary reason  I ended up booking her on another spare phone and she was then OK

She seemed distant, worn out and was obsessed by her own reflection in the mirror - certainly I couldnt see what the fuss/shit loads of previous good reviews was about but thought maybe I was 2 - 5 years too late with this one 

Defo looked like she had cold sore's on the lips as well, she should not work till that has cleared TBH 

If you do change your mind and fancy a punt, go for someone with multiple good recent reviews who actually offers a warm experience and wants to give you great sex and use them as a 'burner' to erase the bad experience, youll be fine 

[LLPunting]

...

Defo looked like she had cold sore's on the lips as well, she should not work till that has cleared TBH 
...

FYI, Herpes Simplex is infectious even when no sores are visible.
But if you're already infected and just worried about the cosmetics then fill yer boots.

Has Suzy "Lapdancer" been on the game since 2000?  I swear she was coming up in searches before the millenium turned.

[pepsicolaboy]

FYI, Herpes Simplex is infectious even when no sores are visible.

Agreed but it is more contagious during an outbreak & health professionals recommend not engaging in sex/oral sex

It is only contagious some of the time when no outbreak is present.

 

[pepsicolaboy]

Has Suzy "Lapdancer" been on the game since 2000?  I swear she was coming up in searches before the millenium turned.

Jesus, then burned out would be an understatement, I dont think she looked older than 33/34 from memory TBH

[el-fei]

Sounds a bit like my experience. She used to sunbathe on the green during summer at lunch which once i recognised her I couldn't resist. Was still a great enjoyable bj though... and she got herself off with a doxy while I fucked her. Which was also nice. Attitude stunk though.

[Alitis]

I can't really say about before 2000, but I certainly remeber her stripping around 2006 or 2007 and escorting from 2011.

[S_holmes]

Been on my HL for ages, primarily due to alleged DT  skills but taking into account the negative feedback here, she’s never been top. Might remove altogether on the basis of this latest review.

[killerbees]

This was a great review, funny and informative.

One to avoid and her negative count is starting to catch up with her positives.
Sorry to hear she's caused a sabbatical. Awful punts can do that, it's happened to me on multiple occasions.
Hopefully you strike lucky after your break.