amy xx swindon totally bogus

[baron von chickenpants]

amy xx External Link/Members Only

I am relatively new to this game so fell for the pics of a leggy buxom lass called amy xx. however, i turned up at the location to find a short dumpy fat thing aged between 30 and 40 with huge tits. This was the sort of girl you would fuck as a bet but the little man say you need a fuck having booking an appt with a fit girl and her cancelling last minute (another story). Sorry lads i was sexually frustrated and needed the release so i thought fat ugly women need loving too and she may well be a good fuck given the grim exterior. How wrong was I. She was wearing a night dress, no make up and hair tied up in a high pony tail. She complianed the last customer called her fat and ugly in broken english, i had to suppress a smile at that comment all the while looking at her huge tits. I wont bore you with the intimate details as she was a horrible fuck. She was riding me and every time i looked up past her huge tits she was looking round the room totally disinterested but after she catches me looking its like "yes baby, ooh, aah. I had to stop myself from laughing whilst thinking 'why have you put yourself in this nasty situation, you have been with some really nice looking women without having to pay to have sex with them and you are now resorting to boning a hippocrocopig. This is your fault cock'. All the while she is bouncing away i am being washed with her bad breath. I asked to change position because i needed to get this over and done with. She wanted missionary i said doggie as i wanted to see if i could thrust her head against the headboard a few times (just for fun). After slamming her for a few minutes i forced myself myself to cum by the usual clenched toes and tensed leg method (in between stifled laughter on my part at her head hitting the headboard). Finished, got my clothes on and left without a word feeling disgusted with myself. The whole thing lasted 10 mins thank fuck.

The profile is totally bogus. Paid 50 quid for half hour of harsh learning experience with a swamphopper. She did give a decent protected blowjob at the beginning but it was short lived. Thankfully she did not kiss me because my face would have melted.

I have been with a few girls in swindon but this one really forced me to add a review. she is one of these travelling hoes who is possibly eastern european. Need to warn you all of this little fat landmine so you do not make the same mistake i did.

Have been with bell40 (naughty virginia), sweet marissa, sexy mature maria and busty monika all situated within swindon so if anyone is interested in these reviews give me a shout and i will post them on here.

[Uoti2]

Welcome to UKP, congratulations on your first review, and thanks for posting. I enjoyed reading it, but it does leave me wondering about one or two things.

I wont bore you with the intimate details

You didn't bore me, even though you went into quite a lot of intimate detail almost immediately after this! That's good, because lots of UKPers want to read intimate details, to find out which services the WG offered and which she actually delivered. For instance, we know from your review that Amy doesn't look like her profile pictures, that she has big tits, that she does protected (presumably - ?) sex in cowgirl and doggy, but we don't know about kissing, OW/OWO, CIM, etc. etc. We can also find out that you paid 50 pounds for half an hour, but we had to wait until nearly the end of quite a lot of text before you told us. And we have no clear idea what sort of place this was - flat? house? car? garage? shared, and hence technically a brothel? - although you did the right thing by putting "Swindon" into the title.

You might find this useful:
External Link/Members Only

Also:

if anyone is interested in these reviews give me a shout and i will post them on here.

Shout!
We're always interested in informative reviews, especially ones as entertaining as the one you've just posted!

Just one more thing, if I may:

i forced myself myself to cum by the usual clenched toes and tensed leg method

That's the "usual" method?! I've being doing it all wrong for a long, long time, then, so would you care to explain just a little more, please?

[billybloo]

Thanks for posting a review Baron Von Chickenpants, I had seen the advert and did think about paying Amy a visit but will give it a miss now as from what you have described she is obviously not the person in the photos and the service you received was far from satisfactory you did say that oral was ok although you didnt say if it was owo or covered, most of us here would like to know this sort of information and I agree with Uoti2 that more information would be good but as I see this is your first review I am sure that when you do further ones they will include all of the information that would make your review better for us all.

Personally from what you did write in your review I would have walked when I saw Amy, I would certainly not have paid £50 for what was just a 10 minute pump and dump especially as, like you say, there are other wgs in Swindon who are far better at a similar price and from who you would get a good service.  You mentioned Amys big tits on several occasions and I presume that, like me, you love big ones, it would also have been good to know if she would have let you cum on tits, tit wank etc.  All that being said welcome to UK Punting, it helps all of us if we all post reviews when we have visited girls as like in this case it prevents a bad experience for us all if a girl is not up to standard.  Happy punting.

[baron von chickenpants]

sorry for the late reply fellas thanks for your advice. I will be better on my next reviews of (the aforementioned girlies).