Link: External Link/Members OnlyThis girl has more UKP reviews than AW ones. I thought she’d have none because she only had 3 AW feedback. By the time I checked UKP for her reviews, I’d already made a booking and couldn’t be bothered to cancel, especially since 3 positives and 1 neutral is still a pretty good record. I would however strongly advise that you read all those reviews (and the threads) in full as they are not as positive as the overall ratings may seem.
Price: £65 for “30 mins” (including poor FK, OWO and sex)
Comms: Due to her profile stating she doesn’t respond to texts or emails, I called her at around 9pm the day before my intended booking and fairly impressively she picked up however when I asked for the following day at 3pm, I was informed that you can’t make a booking the day before, you have to call on the day. Which is fucking joke but I didn’t really care. I told her I’d call in the morning and she said that was fine. As her previous reviews suggest, she has a maid/pimp (they’re not all guys) and it’s the maid you’ll be talking to on the phone. She very much has English accent but the actual girl you'll see (Nicole) sounds very much French (no English accent although her English is perfectly good). That’s presumably why on her profile it says she’s French with an English accent (so when people phone up they don’t get confused/concerned).
I called the next morning at around 10:30am and about an hour later but both times her phone was seemingly switched off. I then sent her a text explaining that we'd talked yesterday and I’d be unable to talk discretely for a while so I was texting to make a booking for 3pm but she didn’t reply. At around 1pm I called again and she answered straight away and I arranged a booking for 3pm. As recommended by a previous reviewer, I sent her a text to let her know I was setting off at around 2:15 (it wouldn’t actually take me that long but I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t get double booked as suggested by the reviewer). She didn’t reply but since she also didn’t reply to my last text I wasn’t too concerned because on the phone we’d definitely confirmed and she sounded pretty organised.
I arrived 10 mins early and called up. She apologised and said she hadn’t written the booking time down. She also she’d be ready in a few minutes. About 10 mins later she sent me text saying she won’t be much longer and that she’ll make it up to me. I then hear nothing until 3:15pm (so 15 mins after scheduled start time) where she apologises for the delay and gives me her room number.
So basically, at best the maid is retarded but more likely she just doesn’t give a fuck and she double-booked me. Still, I feel sorry for the previous punter, as he was probably rushed out so I could be seen to.
Location: Decent hotel. Postcode was on her profile. It was near Northenden.
Initial impressions: As soon as I walk in, I see her chewing something and she informs me that she’s just had some tuna and she apologises. I should’ve walked then and there but I probably thought well hey, I don’t mind tuna – I’m literally that retarded. We have a brief chat and it’s clear she’s off her face on something (I don’t know what, except I doubt it was alcohol). Backing up my thoughts (aside from previous reviewers) is the fact that on her profile it says “I only party in one hour bookings or more” (party usually being a reference for cocaine). She’s quite rude (but seemingly not intentionally – she’s just lacking self-awareness because she’s so trashed) and she’s rather annoying.
I ask for a shower which she says is fine but when I head into the bathroom I see there’s no towels, I ask for one but I soon realised I shouldn't hang about (as she did nothing to find a towel). I asked her bring one in but she never did so once I had the shower I had to go back into room dripping all over the carpet. She eventually dug out a very small towel for me and complained it’s not her house so she doesn’t have many towels. She’s obviously too fucked/retarded to realise she’s in a fucking hotel and she should just ask for some.
To illustrate how messed up she was: I dried my face and she suddenly told me off and said don’t use that to dry your balls. I asked her what she what she meant and she said it was unhygienic. I then asked for a bigger towel but she said she didn’t have one. I looked at her confused and she said, “Don’t worry, it’s because I’m French, I’m French”.
After I’d taken an age to dry myself due to the small towel we finally got down to it (although I really should’ve fucking walked at this point but she’d already taken payment and I was horny).
Looks: Her profile pictures are accurate and probably somewhat recent. The 3rd pic shows her face fairly well. Her claimed boob size of 32D seems about right and they are “enhanced” – they’re decent but not great. Size 8 also seems about right. Claims to be 26 but I think she looks around early 30s. Facially, she’s quite pretty. Her arse is pretty good - enough meat and a good shape.
Service: Decent OWO, it didn’t last very long though so I asked her to continue and she did but shortly after she was wanting to progress things again so I didn’t fight it. Her FK (in terms of technique and enthusiasm) was OK but it wasn’t DFK (despite the claims on her profile) and it was fairly lacklustre but I didn’t care much because the Tuna breath was definitely putting me off! She also seemed to have some mild BO as well. Previous reviews suggest she doesn’t even have a trimmed bush but I believe she’s now tamed it a bit (although the hairs are still quite long). She is fairly tight and sex was pretty enthusiastic. Onto doggy and again things were good but then she got what sounded like a text message and she said that’s the alarm, time’s up. I ignored her because we were only about 15 mins in. Over the course of the next 5 mins she claimed time was up 2 more times, which was very annoying but I ignored her because it was obviously bullshit. Despite wanteing to change positions I didn’t dare to and so that’s where I finished. She didn’t even let me have a shower at the end, despite her own shower being extremely brief (which explains the BO).
So she never did “make it up to me” as she (or rather her maid) promised in that text. In fact, instead of getting extra time, I got fucking pressed for less! I really should have asked for at least a fiver discount. All in all, I was there for 20-25 mins.
Overall: I was kept waiting, she was wasted, she was annoying, she’s fairly good looking, the OWO and sex were enjoyable but it was very rushed.
The warning signs were all there in her previous reviews (her drug problems, her poor hygiene/short showers, likelihood of double-bookings, rushed service etc) never mind when we actually met. It’s a shame I was too stupid to walk away. It’s not the end of the world though, I busted a nut and I was only down £65. It could've been worse.
Topic: nicole french - Manchester (on tour) (Read 1473 times)