YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!!

[johnsnow]

Not so long ago, I was stripping off in preparation for a FBSM in Brum.  Just chilling and getting ready for the girl to come in, relaxing music in the background, just resting down on the couch, completely naked...suddenly the guy in the room next to me starts freaking out, shouting, saying in what sounded like a Eastern European accent: YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! this is for my girlfriend only, YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!!YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!!YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! over and over again. Getting louder and louder. 

I could hear the masseur then saying 'no I didn't just relax', but he started again YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!!

He then sounds like he is having an epileptic fit...bashing the walls, the manager comes in and spends time helping the guy, calming him down.  Doing a great job actually...

He's still freaked out and saying YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!!YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!!  but slightly quieter.

To try and get him out and to shut him up - she offers a refund and another massage with herself with no PRIVATE touching!!

It seemed to work - it all went quiet again.

Then one of the girls came in with a big smile on her face, trying not to laugh, started immediately touching my PRIVATE!!!

[NigelF]

 

That made me chuckle. Some people are way too uptight about things like that and actually they make it worse for the rest of us! Hopefully after Brexit he'll be deported.

[Littlefoot]

Funny story! I like it 

There are some nutters out there! 

Good to hear other funny stories! I haven't got one unfortunately, that springs to mind!

[l1mpd1ck]

Let's hope his girlfriend appreciates such devotion

[The Owl]

When I was in a relationship I knackered my back a bit. My then lovely other half (not anymore) was thinking of booking me in for a professional massage in Birmingham's Hurst Street. As I do believe in monogamy when in a serious relationship I'm pretty glad she didn't now I know what the place really is. Might go there one day for a rub and tug.

[mikexxlong]

conniving bastard probably knew full well it was a FBSM massage place, just waiting for the usual wandering hands to start

to cause a commotion and be offered a free  massage to soothe the cunts savage brow

typical tactics used by  all of these immigrant/migrant parasites in their free loading efforts in getting want they want

[Littlefoot]

conniving bastard probably knew full well it was a FBSM massage place, just waiting for the usual wandering hands to start

to cause a commotion and be offered a free  massage to soothe the cunts savage brow

typical tactics used by  all of these immigrant/migrant parasites in their free loading efforts in getting want they want

Never considered that! That's a good trick!    wouldn't work in my case though, I like the wank at the end too much! 

[The Owl]

Never considered that! That's a good trick!    wouldn't work in my case though, I like the wank at the end too much! 

I can do a convincing EE accent. Might give it a try if my back plays up again and I want a free massage. 

[nightrider.1234]

Not so long ago, I was stripping off in preparation for a FBSM in Brum.  Just chilling and getting ready for the girl to come in, relaxing music in the background, just resting down on the couch, completely naked...suddenly the guy in the room next to me starts freaking out, shouting, saying in what sounded like a Eastern European accent: YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! this is for my girlfriend only, YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!!YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!!YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! over and over again. Getting louder and louder. 

I could hear the masseur then saying 'no I didn't just relax', but he started again YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!! YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!!

He then sounds like he is having an epileptic fit...bashing the walls, the manager comes in and spends time helping the guy, calming him down.  Doing a great job actually...

He's still freaked out and saying YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!!YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE!!  but slightly quieter.

To try and get him out and to shut him up - she offers a refund and another massage with herself with no PRIVATE touching!!

It seemed to work - it all went quiet again.

Then one of the girls came in with a big smile on her face, trying not to laugh, started immediately touching my PRIVATE!!!

Which place was this where it happened?

[johnsnow]

Which place was this where it happened?

It's called we touch any private dot com!

[Stapler]

Which place was this where it happened?

Why? 
Do you want your private touched?

[fredhiggins]

That made me chuckle. Some people are way too uptight about things like that and actually they make it worse for the rest of us! Hopefully after Brexit he'll be deported.

as a remainer myself I always like that joke

[nightrider.1234]

Why? 
Do you want your private touched?

Yeah of course that's why we punt to have our privates touched and pleasured

[myothernameis]

conniving bastard probably knew full well it was a FBSM massage place, just waiting for the usual wandering hands to start

to cause a commotion and be offered a free  massage to soothe the cunts savage brow

typical tactics used by  all of these immigrant/migrant parasites in their free loading efforts in getting want they want

He will go and tell his friends, keep shouting YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE PARTS, and they will give you a refund, and a free massage

[mikexxlong]

He will go and tell his friends, keep shouting YOU TOUCHED MY PRIVATE PARTS, and they will give you a refund, and a free massage

 yeah probably lol

the massage places would soon catch on and either refuse certain "ethnic types"
or wont go anywhere near their 'privates' during the massage maybe even wont offer extras to them at all