I recently came across Lucy's ad on Gumtree:
External Link/Members Only It piqued my interest because there are not many European masseuses available in the NW, so I decided to TOFTT.
Comms were excellent, which was promising -- a false promise, however. Having parked my car and texting to ask for the house number I received a call from her. Upon hearing her baritone voice I should have actually turned right back. Nope, Lucy is not actually Lucas but she is a smoker, and her habit has affected her voice. It also affects the smell of her house, although it could be worse in that respect.
Anyway, getting ahead of myself a bit.
When she opened the door I was tempted for the second time to leave. She's not exactly ugly, but shockingly haggard looking. I went upstairs for a quick wee, spotting a few cigarette butts and some hair in the loo. Nice. One look at the bath and shower further confirmed that I would not be making use of those facilities at any point. Not ideal when you go for a massage, which obviously usually involves oil.
Moving on, I'd requested a one hour topless massage with HR, for which I was asked to pay £60 at the start of the session. I generally prefer paying after I've received a service, but fair enough.
Lucy took off her top immediately and revealed an average looking pair of boobs; B cups I think, neither great nor horrible. Quite long nipples to please the spindle lovers on here (I'm not one of them). At least she's pretty slim; she'd said she's a size 8 in one of her texts and that's probably correct. Her stated age of 27 also seems about right. Due to her unkempt appearance my first impression was that she's a few years older, but the way she talks suggests to me that she can't be in her 30s yet. In terms of her Europeanness, in a text she had claimed to be Spanish. She changed this to half Spanish, half Romanian when I was there. What the truth is I am not sure; she certainly lived in Spain long enough to know a lot about it.
The massage, if you can even call it that, was pathetic. It just consisted of some stroking and a bit of play with one of those massager tools that looks like the Atomium or like a five-legged dog drawn by a three-year-old, depending on your perspective. Lucy was extremely talkative throughout, which surprised me a little. She's pleasant enough, and it quickly became clear why she looks so tired: she's a very nocturnal animal. She claims she only sees up to two clients a day -- "usually regulars" -- and based on her lazy massage I suspect the bit about the two massages may be true: she probably just couldn't be bothered putting more work in. Who those regulars might be, though, I have no idea. Not well-informed members of this forum I assume.
On to the HE, with about 10 minutes to go Lucy asked me to turn over. I wasn't necessarily expecting much from the last part of the massage but it was actually pretty good. She really took her time and was quite playful in her strokes; much better than one gets with quite a few Thai/Chinese providers, who mistake a cock for a shake weight. A bit more of a chat while I got dressed (no shower, as explained above) and I was out on the street again pretty much exactly one hour after I'd entered; far from the most generous time-keeping I have experienced, but to be honest I don't know how much more of the non-existent massage I could have tolerated anyway.
No need to explain why I rate this as a negative I should think.
