Get Your Arse Fucked With A Parsnip!

[ComeAgain]

Yip....you read the title right. Check this lassie out, and for a £180/hr she'll ram your favourite veggies where the sun doesn't shine.
External Link/Members Only
So....who's gonna TTOFTT? 

[Cityfan1880]

She's a wee darling too based on her selfie in verification pic thread. Too bad she's a fortune and doesn't offer any decent services.

[Happyjose]

Alternatively, why not let this one loose on your gonads with a razor

External Link/Members Only

[scutty brown]

FFS not a parsnip............they're one of the worst plants you can imagine for causing photosensitisation and allergic reactions.
A carrot or a cumcumber should be OK. Or a marrow for the brave.......

[Randy Mcknob]

FFS not a parsnip............they're one of the worst plants you can imagine for causing photosensitisation and allergic reactions.
A carrot or a cumcumber should be OK. Or a marrow for the brave.......

For me the problem with parsnips is the steep learning curve, the fuckers go a bit wide a bit too quick for my hole.  I'm a carrot man, the rounded end & a gentle slope.  Carrots all the way, she does sound like whole load of fun.

[ComeAgain]

Alternatively, why not let this one loose on your gonads with a razor

External Link/Members Only

ESSO MASSAGE? WTF is that? Forecourt or foreplay?

[popatopolis]

I had a massage from Agnes (External Link/Members Only) a while ago and she was great.

She is extremely good at lingam and tantric massage.

Highly recommended if you're in/around Dundee (DD2 area if I remember correctly).

[jambogaz]

I had a massage from Agnes (External Link/Members Only) a while ago and she was great.

She is extremely good at lingam and tantric massage.

Highly recommended if you're in/around Dundee (DD2 area if I remember correctly).

Yeah I can agree.  Just had an hour long massage including prostate with Agnes and her friend Emily.

Wow doesn't even come close.  One of the most erotic experiences I have had.  Highly recommended for massage and HR.

 

[Marvlus69]

Agree about the Dundee massage, been to see Agnes twice, and Elizabeth her sister, fantastic massage and happy ending both 2 and 4 hands ✊🏻💦💦💦💦

[S.X. MacHine]

Serious question.
When taken anally, does the parsnip count as one of your 'five a day'?

[Don Quixote]

Serious question.
When taken anally, does the parsnip count as one of your 'five a day'?

Only if it remains in situ.

[S.X. MacHine]

Only if it remains in situ.

Do you mean 'in shitu'?

[Joe Tortolano]

The best thread title i’ve Seen on UKP