_Miranda_ (Euston) - Crazy is an understatement (not actually a positive?)

[MattEagle]

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Before I start this review I want to warn you that it's a weird one. She's strange. And I'm going to do something even more strange. I'm going to give her a positive for the database despite this being a NEGATIVE as far as two very important points are concered:

1. I will never go back to see her
2. I do not recommend any of you to go see her

So why then is the verdict a positive? Surely that makes no sense? Well, it's a positive because what we did have was damn good and I got way more than my money's worth at £60 for 30 minutes. Let this be a lesson that you should read a review and not just look at the verdict!

So I text Miranda saying I liked her profile and would love to see her and asked if she does CIM. She says yes. I then ask her again saying do you definitely do CIM, even spelling it out as cum in mouth this time because I know at that price it's usually a myth here in London and also I've seen reviews that says she doesn't do it, and once again she says she does it. I then ask if she's free at a certain time. There's no response so I assume it's not going ahead. She then texts me 10 minutes before the time saying she's free while I'm still at home, so I reply saying I live half an hour away and didn't leave as I didn't get confirmation. Again no reply so once again I just assume it's not going ahead.

She then calls me 10 minutes later and she talks in such a weird slur that I had NO IDEA what she was saying. She sounded half crazy and half like she had a blocked nose. I caught bits of what I thought was she couldn't always check her phone and she needs time and if I still want to come so I just took initiative and just asked if she's free in an hour. She said yes, I told her to text me the postcode and she did.

I got there on time and text her twice and no reply. Text again 10 minutes later no reply. Called a few times and it just rung. Sent an annoyed text saying how she's the one who called me and invited me and what's going on? No reply. Called a few more times no reply. I could have walked here but the hotel was cosy and I had time to kill so I was patient. Should be a negative already. Called one more time and she picked up and gave me some sort of explanation which again I had no idea what she was saying, something about checking her phone again but I got the room number and went up.

She opened the door and what a body. She's like 6 foot with heels but she has perfect breasts and a nice bum. Her face was ok but her eyes looked like that of a crazy person! She told me to relax and not to worry and that we have 'til 8 (which is an hour despite me paying for half an hour) at least that's what I think she said!

This is where it gets good. She really got into the kissing, and gave a really really good blowjob. She also tasted really good down there and it was an amazing session of 69 both sideways and her on top. She was moving her body so much and really getting into it as I was licking whatever the hell I can back there.

After about 20 minutes of this we went back on our sides and I started lightly face fucking her. Now, I KNEW from all past experiences at this price that CIM would be too good to be true, so I didn't ask again (I had confirmed it twice remember). I simply started face fucking her harder and then.. Came. Man it was so good! She tried to dodge a little and a bit went on her chin but most of it went in. I don't care what happened before the punt and what will happen next but this is why it's a positive. It was great! Definitely one of the best 69 I've ever had. Now, the next part is even more reason why neither I, or you, should ever see her.

She jokingly punched me in the shoulder with a smile on her face but a deep crazy glare in her eyes saying she doesn't do CIM. I told her with a laugh (thinking surely she's joking) I had confirmed it via text twice. She simply said she doesn't do it, and I had no energy to argue with it after that amazing session so I just had a playful "oops" look on my face.

The next part... Now I'm 95% sure I got most of this correct, again she's very hard to understand, but she said she will chop me up and hide me under the bed or throw my body into the garden and bury it. All with a playful smile but like that on a psycho clown. I kind of laughed and went along with it but she kept saying weird things along those lines saying she doesn't do cum in mouth but that she ain't going to charge me extra for it (doesn't make sense I know). After questioning what she was saying just once and getting nowhere I just continued going along with it and changed subject while getting dressed, acting interested in her asking so we're she's from (Poland) and stuff like that.

On the way out continuing in her really strange and almost scary psycho girl look and tone she really tried to sell me on a lesbian show with her best friend for next time. She was saying how she's really in love with her and therefore it's a real lesbian show and that she's going to miss her when she's on holiday but can't wait for her to come back because she loves her that much. I again just went along with it and then gave her a peck on the cheek and went on my way.

I repeat. I gave this a positive because I made it a positive. I was patient enough to wait for half an hour, I took my own initiative and came in her mouth (and it was SO good) due to confirming it twice on text despite having a strong gut feeling it was a false confirmation (why do they think they can get away with that?) and I will not be going back due to the craziness. I'm glad this meeting was in a hotel!

AVOID!

[peter purves]

A strange saga...

Thankfully you managed to escape any of the friendlly fire' and lived to tell the tale (to other punters)...................................to getting their booking in   

[Brazilian Martian]

I'm Confused so she's got a positive but it should be a negative but you're not recommending her 

[MattEagle]

I'm Confused so she's got a positive but it should be a negative but you're not recommending her 

Believe me it sums it up perfectly. Sorry

[MattEagle]

Ignore double post, was trying to correct some punctuation but realised I was quoting instead.

[Sinz]

From other reviews I did gather she is a bit cuckoo, but this tops it, surely sounds like she was on drugs.

[jichael mackson]

 In my experience a very unpleasant vibe about her ... body in good nick tho... shame she's a fruitloop

[MattEagle]

In my experience a very unpleasant vibe about her ... body in good nick tho... shame she's a fruitloop

I just read your review, it's interesting you mention her breath. It was such a strange smell, it was unpleasant for sure but it wasn't your usual bad breath smell. I was just about able to put up with it because part of me was curious what it was lol.

[jichael mackson]

Haha yes it was strange, only thing I could relate it to was the smell of a deli counter

[holland]

OP i think the rating system of Uk Punting is very helpful. It is there for a reason. You should try to read past reviews and the available guide before rating if you are in doubt. Comms, location, the girl, service and attidute are all parts of the punt. If just one or two of these aspects were positive then probabily your review should have been a negative or a neutral.

[jimmycallum]

Surely this is what the neutral rating is for.

[Roth]

Surely this is what the neutral rating is for.

+1

[MattEagle]

Surely this is what the neutral rating is for.

But nothing about the punt was a neutral. Let me put it this way... If I were to rate a video game and gave it a 10/10 for gameplay but a 0/10 for story, I wouldn't then rate it a 5/10. In this instance it was a positive experience because it just so happened I didn't mind waiting as much as I normally would, and I dealt with the craziness. Someone else could have easily argued with her or panicked or got scared and that's why I don't recommend anyone going as it's not really safe (or not predictable might be the better word), and that's why I won't be going back either.

Like I said it's a unique review for a very unique situation. I know I only have a few reviews here but I've seen a lot of girls and this is the only time something like this has happened to this degree where the performance and VFM was really high that I felt everything else didn't take away from the experience but instead deterred me from ever going back since one day it COULD affect the experience and also on a different day it could have affected it for me too.

I hope it's not too annoying that I didn't just simply rate it a neutral. A neutral for me will be something like a 5 or 6 out of 10 performance or maybe a 7 out of 10 performance but horrible time keeping or bad attitude etc. A neutral feels like a rating with some balance. There was no balance to this punt lol. Depending on your mood and her mood and how you act and react you'll either love it or hate it, and I loved it. But I know that won't always be the case and that's why it's a positive rating with a very important warning.

[Jellaby]

Saw Miranda a few times last year, mainly when was doing amazing VFM  duo with her then friend Sandra. Think they have split up.  Would like to see her again but the poor comms would end it for me.

[NightKid]

With regards to CIM, I think you should've confirmed in person instead of over text.

You never know half of the time if you're communicating with a pimp or otherwise, so I'd say it could've been a dick move on your part to make that assumption ... especially when you were clearly aware that the comms was beyond piss poor from the start.

[MattEagle]

With regards to CIM, I think you should've confirmed in person instead of over text.

You never know half of the time if you're communicating with a pimp or otherwise, so I'd say it could've been a dick move on your part to make that assumption ... especially when you were clearly aware that the comms was beyond piss poor from the start.

She called me from the same number I was texting, and text me immediatly after the phone call giving the post code. The dick move is going all that way from the likes list and text confirmation and then being let down.

[Bangers and Gash]

She's nutty, but a good, hard shag - I even gave her a positive review 

On my booking she folded her arms and said..

Her: I'm going stand here and watch you take all your clothes off
Me: Great, are you going to take yours off too?
Her: No!... now hurry up and strip

 

[Bassman]

Negative all day long.

Shit comms, kept you waiting, psycho type, hints of being a possible drug user/abuser.

Only reasoning for your positive is, basically, you busted a nut.

[jimmycallum]

this still seems a neutral.

you could be a hench 6ft guy, if she was angry at you and thought she could take you. She might have attacked you further for cumming in her mouth.

If you read my previous review for American kylie, you will see what Happens when you cim in the wrong girl....and it felt amazing too for like 5 seconds!

[khat1]

LOL OP - you bumped into a cokehead 

[HighlyMotivated]

Interesting... I do enjoy the banter with 'psycho' WGs and it can make for some good sessions as has been the case in my meetings with Jennifer Pussy. Going through the reviews though it seems Miranda is not rated too high facially. Still, I shall HL her. Cheers OP

[The_Don]

Saw Miranda a few times last year, mainly when was doing amazing VFM  duo with her then friend Sandra.

I punted Sandra and reviewed her as negative.

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Short version: Mundane service wise and an uninterested attitude. Clearly clock watching and time wasting.

Below is a current picture External Link/Members Only and profile:

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Think they have split up.  Would like to see her again but the poor comms would end it for me.

Sandra profile has been swapped or sold on, IMO.

Totally different W/G pictured (see below) and now no longer linked to Miranda, current A/W profile:

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[will-ow]

well that was an interesting read! I'd say you're negatives outway the positives but the positive is the reason you are there so i get why you put a postitive. If it was me i would give a neutral. If a film is visually brilliant but shit story its still not a brilliant film

[Bangers and Gash]

I do enjoy the banter with 'psycho' WGs and it can make for some good sessions as has been the case in my meetings with Jennifer Pussy.

Sounds like we both have great taste in women. 

[tdh]

May be at the duo she will cut u in bits

[mrhappypants]

MattEagle,

I am not proud of this - the idea of 'making' a girl deliver on her commitment to CIM, especially where you find her both very attractive and skilled is something I readily understand....

but I think it is playing with fire and I think you are wise not to go back.

[MattEagle]

MattEagle,

I am not proud of this - the idea of 'making' a girl deliver on her commitment to CIM, especially where you find her both very attractive and skilled is something I readily understand....

but I think it is playing with fire and I think you are wise not to go back.

I don't understand though, if it's in the profile and I've confirmed via text twice, why then do I have to ask again?  having to ask kills the mood and I already have anyway. Should I also ask before I kiss or any other action during the punt? It's perfectly normal to assume something is OK if I've made sure three times. Just because past experiences of WGs lying has made me smarter on the subject it doesn't mean they should be allowed to play dumb... What if this was my first ever punt? I remember back when it was my first time I had text and asked if I need to bring any condoms, and when she said no I turned up with none and didn't ask again before we got down to business because she told me she had some, and if course she did.

And that isn't the only reason I'm not going back. She sounded crazy both on the phone and after when everything was OK and she was trying to sell me on this lesbian show. Her actions were that of a crazy (not high, crazy) person too. But none of that seemed to affect the punt itself and for over 20 minutes she was normal and it was great.

[mrhappypants]

Personal view?  Plenty of poor old fuckers like me find it difficult to come with a condom but do not BB so CIM is a crucial service.  Girls who don't offer it can't charge as much and can't get so many clients. 

Plenty don't want too, and will dodge or refuse once they have your money if they can, but girls offer it because it is in demand and demand is money.

And agreed, she *does* sound unstable.

[Jellaby]

Personal view?  Plenty of poor old fuckers like me find it difficult to come with a condom but do not BB so CIM is a crucial service.  Girls who don't offer it can't charge as much and can't get so many clients. 

Plenty don't want too, and will dodge or refuse once they have your money if they can, but girls offer it because it is in demand and demand is money.

Totally agree! That's exactly where I am!

[Mr Farkyhars]

If I were to rate a video game and gave it a 10/10 for gameplay but a 0/10 for story, I wouldn't then rate it a 5/10

But by the same thinking, if part of your experience was 0/10 then perhaps you ought to have given the whole review 0/10 (neg) rather than 10/10 (pos)?

[MattEagle]

Personal view?  Plenty of poor old fuckers like me find it difficult to come with a condom but do not BB so CIM is a crucial service.  Girls who don't offer it can't charge as much and can't get so many clients. 

Plenty don't want too, and will dodge or refuse once they have your money if they can, but girls offer it because it is in demand and demand is money.

And agreed, she *does* sound unstable.

Same, I don't even really ask for sex anymore as I can get that elsewhere. All I want is owo and cim and therefore I confirm twice and make sure it's written in the profile before I go.

What are your thoughts on girls that text me back saying it's at her discretion and that she will let me know she does it or not once I get there? I understand this is probably because they want it to be someone decent/clean but I get paranoid that she just doesn't want to do it regardless and it's another trap. Chances are when I get there she will just deny the texts and profile and say she doesn't do it. If it's not a trap she should say something like "as long as you are clean I'd love to offer that service". I'm sick of this cim false advertisement

But by the same thinking, if part of your experience was 0/10 then perhaps you ought to have given the whole review 0/10 (neg) rather than 10/10 (pos)?

No because the part that was 10/10 is a more important factor. I take the quality of the punt itself more important than the sanity of the WG when thinking about how good the punt was lol. If it averages to something like 8/10 with the importance of different factors weighted accordingly then that's still a positive but either way I don't suggest anyone taking a chance with her just incase you catch her on an even worse day, and the chance of that is highly likely.

[mrhappypants]

Same, I don't even really ask for sex anymore as I can get that elsewhere. All I want is owo and cim and therefore I confirm twice and make sure it's written in the profile before I go.

What are your thoughts on girls that text me back saying it's at her discretion and that she will let me know she does it or not once I get there?

With due respect to the congregation, there are an awful lot of horrible smelly fuckers out there so I give the benefit of the doubt to "at discretion". Indeed, when I confirm I specify that I am confirming "at descretion" - by which I mean "you have not agreed to do anything with me until you have met me BUT you understand that if you refuse the service when we meet I will decline the booking (you lose the booking and don't get paid)."

Simply put - on a first booking, especially where you are TOFTT it is really important to discuss service and be prepaired to "walk" if it does not check out.  This is also the reason that I will no longer travel long distances to punt.

[holland]

Same, I don't even really ask for sex anymore as I can get that elsewhere. All I want is owo and cim and therefore I confirm twice and make sure it's written in the profile before I go.

What are your thoughts on girls that text me back saying it's at her discretion and that she will let me know she does it or not once I get there? I understand this is probably because they want it to be someone decent/clean but I get paranoid that she just doesn't want to do it regardless and it's another trap. Chances are when I get there she will just deny the texts and profile and say she doesn't do it. If it's not a trap she should say something like "as long as you are clean I'd love to offer that service". I'm sick of this cim false advertisement

No because the part that was 10/10 is a more important factor. I take the quality of the punt itself more important than the sanity of the WG when thinking about how good the punt was lol. If it averages to something like 8/10 with the importance of different factors weighted accordingly then that's still a positive but either way I don't suggest anyone taking a chance with her just incase you catch her on an even worse day, and the chance of that is highly likely.

If you read the ukpunting guide your review should get neutral or negative rating
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It doesn't really matter if you had good time. The rating is there to guide future punters not to measure how much you enjoyed your punt.

[Brazilian Martian]

If you read the ukpunting guide your review should get neutral or negative rating
External Link/Members Only
It doesn't really matter if you had good time. The rating is there to guide future punters not to measure how much you enjoyed your punt.

+100

[MattEagle]

If you read the ukpunting guide your review should get neutral or negative rating
External Link/Members Only
It doesn't really matter if you had good time. The rating is there to guide future punters not to measure how much you enjoyed your punt.

I wasn't aware there was such emphasis on whether I will return or not, in which case it's a massive no and therefore a negative so you're right. Luckily I did state that in the opening and in red. Almost as if I knew. If a mod can change it then they can feel free to do so. I stand by my rating from how I feel the punt itself went but you're right in that according to the rules of the forum stated there it should be a negative. I for example value whether they stick to their like list, whether it's VFM, their looks etc more when giving the score but their mental state more so determines whether I go back or not and not necessarily the score unless it affects the performance itself and in this case it didn't, at all. She was very normal during the punt itself but everything else about her is crazy.

So yeah, according to the rules and as stated in the review itself it is a negative in that respect. If it is reversible or if a mod wants to remove the review from the index thats perfectly fine

[peter purves]

If you read the ukpunting guide your review should get neutral or negative rating
External Link/Members Only
It doesn't really matter if you had good time. The rating is there to guide future punters not to measure how much you enjoyed your punt.

Funnily enough, when I read the rules, I did not come to the above conclusion.

The rules provide guidelines, and inferences which a reviewer can use if in doubt, like would one would return. However, the guidelines do not necessarily represent the sum total experience of whether a punt will be regarded as positive or negative for a particular punter.

If anything, the rules appear to indicate that reviews are in fact a subjective process, somewhat unique to the individual, who experienced the punt.

And here the Defence rest their case M'Lud 

[MattEagle]

Funnily enough, when I read the rules, I did not come to the above conclusion.

The rules provide guidelines, and inferences which a reviewer can use if in doubt, like would one would return. However, the guidelines do not necessarily represent the sum total experience of whether a punt will be regarded as positive or negative for a particular punter.

If anything, the rules appear to indicate that reviews are in fact a subjective process, somewhat unique to the individual, who experienced the punt.

And here the Defence rest their case M'Lud 

Yeah I mean I'm not ready to deal with crazy people and I wouldn't recommend others to do so and therefore i won't be going back but for all I know that might be a fetish for someone or someone might be willing to take that risk in which case it wouldn't matter and the punt itself will be a positive. Honestly if her state of mind affected the quality of the punt itself even a little this would have been a straight up negative for me. Think of it as going to the cinema and the person selling you the ticket was a rude bastard, the popcorn was crap and the he gave you the wrong drink... But the film itself was perfect and ultimately that's what you went for. You won't go back to that cinema again but you'll rate the film highly.

I'm guessing a mod was happy with my review that's why it got accepted (not sure how that part of it works) but after reading the guide and the part about going back or not being mentioned, I accept any changes made to the review.

[NightKid]

The dick move is going all that way from the likes list and text confirmation and then being let down.

Indeed, plus what you did also ... two wrongs do not make a right and all that.

[mrhappypants]

MattEagle, if you agree with Holland's post above I suggest you ask one of the helpers (Don, Pumps, Ludwig or that sick degenerate Cuball) to change your rating - it will be to the aid of other punters. 

Peter Purves, I think you have misread the emphasis in the guide to review writing.  Rather I think the sentiment is "a rating is of course subjective, but be driven by the implication of your recommendation on the future behaviour and choices of other punters."  If Matt clearly recommends against others visiting I think he should give a negative hence my suggestion above.

[Sparta Prada]

I think Matt's review and rating is fine. At the start of the review he clearly states his reasons for the positive rating , and why he won't be returning or recommend her to other guys.

I have seen quite a lot of positive reviews on here where guys had a good time but state that they wouldn't return (or recommend the girl) for different reasons, though I don't recall many that have a similar reason for not returning quite like this review!

Ultimately it is Matt's review and rating and thanks for the info.

[mrhappypants]

I think Matt's review and rating is fine. At the start of the review he clearly states his reasons for the positive rating , and why he won't be returning or recommend her to other guys.

I have seen quite a lot of positive reviews on here where guys had a good time but state that they wouldn't return (or recommend the girl) for different reasons, though I don't recall many that have a similar reason for not returning quite like this review!

Ultimately it is Matt's review and rating and thanks for the info.

Yep ultimately I agree; it is "his" review and all that....

[Sufaking]

Chop the OP up and hide his body parts? 

Sounds like the gal I would like to marry if she has a crazy sense of humour like that. Shame she's an escort like all the other crazy fun women I've met. One day I'll find a gal in a normal job who has that crazy humour that matches my humour...hopefully.

Or maybe she really is a pyscho lol but you did come back alive along with other reviewers OP, so maybe I'll take my chances!

Let's just hope she's not pyscho enough to have Sergei in the closet filming the sex...

[peter purves]

MattEagle, if you agree with Holland's post above I suggest you ask one of the helpers (Don, Pumps, Ludwig or that sick degenerate Cuball) to change your rating - it will be to the aid of other punters. 

Peter Purves, I think you have misread the emphasis in the guide to review writing.  Rather I think the sentiment is "a rating is of course subjective, but be driven by the implication of your recommendation on the future behaviour and choices of other punters."  If Matt clearly recommends against others visiting I think he should give a negative hence my suggestion above.

You may have a valid point here, since an emphasis has to be placed somewhere. However, I did try to read it as objectively as I could.

As for recommending her to others, I am not sure in this instance this sums up Matt's total experience with the WG. Using your criteria (would he recommend her to others) would lead at best to a 'neutral' or at worst a 'negative' - even if I do stand by my earlier legal submissions my learned friend