Beach Blondie (Brazilian) - Edinburgh

[Captain Kirk]

I replied to a thread that had reviewed Beach Blondie as positive, a couple of members replied and said I should do my own review as my review was misleading posted under a positive review, so here it goes:

I Visited Beach Blondie at the weekend based on a positive review I saw on this forum.

I will summarise my experience as follows -

Looks - not as good as her photos, her boobs look like Michael Jackson's face after he had half a million surgeries, they look odd, at first I thought they were plastic!  Her face also is not as pretty or as sexy as her photos, I was disappointed, I even asked her if she was the same girl as in the photo but this girl does not speak English and could not understand my question.

Age - This girl is more likely 32 rather than 23 as claimed on her profile, there is no way she is 23, no way.

Comms - Text communication was good and arranged visit easily, however once I got to the house she used Google on her smartphone to communicate with me, I had to speak to her phone and she listened to the translation, a major turn off, I have no doubt someone else deals with her text messages.

Personality - friendly and accommodating girl, it would help if you could speak Portuguese, I could not overcome my disappointment from the first impression when I walked into her huge house, I did not enjoy my time with her. I felt like walking out initially but she was friendly with a smile so I found it hard to walk out.

Service - She has a positive review on this forum so some punters are happy with her service, but she is not my type at all. I did not ask for OWO or CIM, when I texted her I said I would like to try Anal and she said that would be OK, but once in the house she did not offer it so it never happened. It never occurred to me that someone else had answered her text and never told her about my Anal request, since she could not understand a word I was saying I thought forget Anal, just give me a massage.

Massage - she gave me a nice massage, quite relaxing, she has now got the bed for it

She does not look anywhere near as sexy or as pretty as the photos on her AW page, she is much older than 23, she is over 30.  To be fair personality-wise she was friendly and smiling, but what good is that if you cannot speak Portuguese, she is happy to kiss but since I did not find her attractive I was reluctant to kiss her.

I won't be visiting this girl again. External Link/Members Only

[somefun]

I think there is a lesson here in doing some decent research and not rushing into things if you have a particular need - UKP is a useful tool to share information.  Opinions and views often vary, and generally I try to keep my comments objective and factual as far as poss to allow other punters to make their on informed decision.

To keep it objective / factual I have attached a picture of the girl.  This was the girl this weekend - the picture was taken in the place the service is provided, the other girl is currently touring with her and the hair and outfit she was in where as a punt on Sat.  Therefore we are talking about either a current picture or some tremendous foresight.  Is the girl 23 or 33  - in my view the picture is of a girl older than 23 so we will go for 33. As for looks, I agree she is not an absolute stunner from the pics she is what she is but the picture is the girl and it is recent.

As for research  :

It has been called out many a time on this forum and twice on the review and the thread from the positive review that there is a madam involved at the big house who does not pass on messages / requests.  As Auldie would say you agree in the room what your getting before you hand over your cash. So the OP did not get anal but did not ask the girl for it.

In the room the positive review and thread called out that her English was limited and she used google translate, also this has again been called out many a time for girls at the big house, but the punter still complained about it despite it being called out.

The positive thread also called out the profile had just been rolled forward from another so if anything specific was wanted to check to see if what you wanted was available / were the facts right. It is also well documented on here that the girls do not always provide the services listed.  This site is for punters to effectively share what info is genuine - if every girls profile was banned for having something wrong with it then there would only be a handful of profiles left.  For example the OP was looking to meet a girl this weekend where the profile picture is not ever her.

It can be seen from his posted that the OP was rushed in his choice following not being able to get the girl he wanted and booked a girl for anal based on my review which did not mention this.

As for the tits I can't say anything factual  - I did not notice anything wrong with them - maybe I missed it.  IMO the girls bod was as good as I've reviewed on here.  Facially not fantastic but the picture is there for all.
 

For NURU lovers I would assume for now the OP was talking about the massage table and not a NURU mattress unless he comes back and explicitly states is was a NURU mattress (effectively a strong blow-up lilo to cope with two people sliding about the floor)

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[Captain Kirk]

Thanks for your reply somefun, the bed was a massage bed with a hole to put your chin in, similar to the one I attach to this post. And there was a double bed in that huge room.

Yes you have raised valid points, I was fooled by those photos, her face put me off at the outset and after that it was all downhill.  Her face looks dead sexy in the photo, reminds me of a young Kim Wild from the 80s, but this 30+ woman was nothing like the photo.

As for her English, it was far worse than I realised, I thought Romanians were bad, this girl is the worst I have met, you cannot communicate with her at all, the boobs look far too artificial.  I could not bear to kiss her and turned my face to the side everytime she tried to kiss me on the lips.  Fucked her twice from behind so I did not have to see her face or boobs, got a nice massage and left.

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[daviebond]

Reading her profile, Im guessing shes in The Big House, if then the girls there never speak much English and dont do half the things on "their" profile. They are still hot as fuck though 

.....I should read all the replies....DOH!!