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Author Topic: Phoenix Club - London - Bordering on the negative  (Read 2930 times)

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Offline Kraatos

http://thephoenixclub.london/

The Preamble

After my social life being completely obliterated under an avalanche of work , I never had much to rejoice about in sexual adventures . What did not help is that , much to my chagrin , the junior me often pop up during the most embarrassing situations . Whether it is the mere sight of toned waxed female legs in the tube or a tight little dress accentuating the curves on a particularly ravishing lady . Things had came to such a pass that I have to eat my lunch alone at my desk because I fear that the Russian bombshell in my office might file a complaint against me for ogling her . But in my defense , half of my co-workers will be out on the streets for committing the same "crime" . Instead of taking matters in my own hands , I decided to scour the whole of UKPunting for my next one . Since both money and time were a rare resource,  I did not venture out for anything new . Going through the reams and reams of reviews posted here resulted in more confusion than clarity .

The Booking

As time was running out , I decided to go with my tried and tested exhaustive list . Which comprised of two names - CutestLucy and Phoenix parties . A SMS to CutestLucy was met with cricket noises . After watching junior me completely crestfallen , I decided that it would be better to have a surfiet of ladies for him for a very reasonable price of 160  £ . A quick call was made and an appointment was jotted in for a Saturday afternoon .

While making the booking , I did not check out the roster . Post booking while checking out the roster , I was pleasantly surprised to find Alana on it . She was someone whom I fancied considering the past experiences other punters had with her . Plus the whole roster was refreshed so there were no familiar faces . This could be a bad or good thing considering how your experience with them finally pans out . Unfortunately it was more bad than good .

The Experience

It did not start on a very positive note as I turned up around 15 mins late due to me miscalculating the time it would take me to reach the destination . Nevertheless, I sorted the paperwork with the hostess and had a quick shower . Clad in a bathrobe that was 2 size smaller than me , I entered to find 5 women servicing 7 patrons . The 8th me is not helping matters in any way . This made me realise that Saturday itself was a bad choice for a Phoenix party and you ought to go with weekday booking for a far more relaxed atmosphere . Nevertheless it was better than the 2:1 ratio it was supposed to be . I tried catching a bit of breath by not immediately joining the party . But soon , I was beckoned by Izabella for blowing me while someone else was plowing her to oblivion . It was a bit uncomfortable because the continuous pounding resulted in a toothy blowjob for me at the edge of the bed . She quickly sensed that and asked the guy to go doggy on her while I lie on my back . That for me was the high point when she gave me a humming blowjob that was quite pleasurable . After the other patron was done with her she put on a condom on me and ride me briefly . Soon we changed position and I fucked her in missionary and she moaned with the fakest ever moan . It was slightly off putting and I soon zoned out to her pleas to cum in her and rather concentrated on the more realistic moans of another lady who was being pleasured by a well endowed patron . That resulted in the first pop for me .

Refreshed myself with cola which was lost its fizz much like the party . I had my eye on two ladies who were completely hogged by other patrons - Alana and Reegan . Both pics on the site are obviously touched up but they were still very attractive with banging bodies to boot . While sitting in anticipation for either one to be free , Parissa entered the room and finding me on the bed decided to play with me . She gave me an extended BJ which had a good technique but had the most disinterested expression on her face which was a major turn off . So much that I was easily distracted with far more sensual encounters about a couple of feet from me . I tried to put in a bit of sensuality by licking her responsive nipples but she complained about the ticklishness . I tried to fuck her with a  semi but her act of blocking me with her hand for a more intimate fuck was the lad straw and I quickly excused myself . I took a quick shower and returned to proceedings . Herein I could see 4 patrons sitting idle while other patrons kept on hogging the 4 ladies (one excused herself to a trip to the loo) selfishly to themselves . The hostess egged us to join the proceedings as it was never supposed to be 1 on 1 . Despite her best efforts none of us joined as every one was looking for a more intimate position rather than to be a third wheel . I guess it is a bit deflating for the third one for not having the full attention of the lady and therefore they chose not to compete . This type of parties require a bit of shamelessness on your part and join in regardless of what is the status quo .

Tried the exact thing with Alana as me and another punter were vying for her attention . She beckoned me while pleasuring another guy and I went down on her . Soon we switched positions and I was lying on my back . It is then the biggest disappointment sunk in . She decided to blow me covered . Fully realizing that she blew everyone before me uncovered , it was a major turnoff . I lost my boner almost instantly . To make matter worse she excused herself to the loo because she had something in her eyes . It looked a bit silly wearing a condom on flaccid penis waiting for her to return . She returned again to resume from where she stopped . By this time I was getting annoyed . She simply did not share the same intimacy which was evident from her demeanour. I have to summon some of my past wonderful encounters to pop in her . Had a chat with her while others were resting . Soon she was scooped by another refreshed patron . Already being wonderfully disappointed with the proceedings , I kind of resigned and just plopped to wait for the party to finish . Since I was sitting near Reegan , I was hopeful to end it on a high . But she was preoccupied to talking to a guy who has a possibly had a handjob from every lady in the house . Only after the hostess came in to announce that there is 3 minutes left it dawned on her to play with me . With an expression of watching paint dry on the wall , she proceeded to give me a half hearted blowjob . Sensing that she cannot even get it up , Alana chipped in to assist me . Knowing everything is futile she and Reegan got some lube on her hands and the latter started off the proceedings to jerk me off . Alana remarked that I could not cum in such a short time . Score 1 for such sexy commitment . The junior me took it as an affront and decided spurt one out I  the dying seconds . Reegan immediately handed out the tissues and Alana wiped it off as if it carried the Ebola virus . FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC end to a weird hurried session where I came more than any other orgies I had with Phoenix yet I was oddly feeling dissatisfied and somewhat insulted.

The Conclusion

Retired to downstairs to find threadbare towels for us to use . Had a quick shower and check myself out from Phoenix .

Pros :

The hostesses and to an extent some of the ladies tried their level best to ensure participation for each patron in the house

The fee of 160 £ is quite cheap if you consider the number of ladies in  attendance and the light refreshments they provide

You have equal access to all the ladies if you can butt your way in

Cons

Some of the ladies have different standards of service for different patrons . This is true even when all the patrons are very respectful and always toe the line in favor of the ladies .

The parties are not for the shy ones where you are expected to take the initiative and be a bit shameless . If you fancy someone you can turn up early (not too early) and make sure you are around her for the initial session . This I say because more often than not the popular one will be hogged by the patron for at least half an hour and you are stuck with someone you do not exactly fancy .

There will be bad apples in the basket who will not even make the slightest effort to even feign an interest in you . Suggest to cut your losses and move on rather than waste your time on her .

A weekend appointment should be avoided if you are looking for lesser chaos . Weekend appointments results in more punters therefore more competition and lesser attention .

Needless to say this was a less than average experience for me and the only reason why I give it a neutral is because of its competitive price and past experiences .

That sounded awful. Why she covered you and not others isn't on. All the dull, I don't want to be here expressions aren't on either  :thumbsdown:

Parissa blocking you from having sex?! :rolleyes:


I'd say that was a pretty fair review of what it's become.  They used to be really good but now  it's all souless and fucking by numbers. Not my cup of tea at all.

Offline Kraatos

I'd say that was a pretty fair review of what it's become.  They used to be really good but now  it's all souless and fucking by numbers. Not my cup of tea at all.

As I said many times in the review that it is not the usual cup of tea for everyone .

I have heard that it's predecessor (LMP) used to be far more legendary than this . But then not every sequel is The Dark Knight .

Offline Kraatos

That sounded awful. Why she covered you and not others isn't on. All the dull, I don't want to be here expressions aren't on either  :thumbsdown:

Parissa blocking you from having sex?! :rolleyes:

Reegan wasting your time . Alana refusing to go with OWO.  Parissa holding you back . It is like every nightmare for a punter just manifested out of the blue .

Sounds shit op,you should consider asking admin to change this from a neutral to a negative

My own personal trip to lmp a couple of years ago was nowhere near as bad as what you describe but I have never considered returning, sounds like things have got worse since

Offline davison

i was there for the 1:00 that Saturday. Bummer you missed Mel who was by far the best part of a weak party. Something was definitely off w Parissa that day. Weird. Alana is pretty fastidious with the tissues and wipes. Not casting aspersions but maybe she thought she saw something she didn't like.

Offline davison

I'd say that was a pretty fair review of what it's become.  They used to be really good but now  it's all souless and fucking by numbers. Not my cup of tea at all.

I've had nights as bad as op described and also swinging from the chandeliers life changing fuck fests that leave you smiling for days. Depends entirely on the line up and the crowd. Top girls and upbeat active and non shy punters and it can be absolutely epic. A bad lineup and a shy crowd and it's really bleak.

This reads like an angst laden Woody Allen monologue. You came more times  than you ever had at an orgy but still left  feeling bitter. I'd love to be at TPC and it's all about me, but sometimes like yourself I find the girls attitude and the other punters just get in the way.
« Last Edit: July 15, 2016, 10:36:18 AM by Rocket Scientist »

Offline Kraatos

I've had nights as bad as op described and also swinging from the chandeliers life changing fuck fests that leave you smiling for days. Depends entirely on the line up and the crowd. Top girls and upbeat active and non shy punters and it can be absolutely epic. A bad lineup and a shy crowd and it's really bleak.

Perfectly put

Offline Kraatos

Sounds shit op,you should consider asking admin to change this from a neutral to a negative

My own personal trip to lmp a couple of years ago was nowhere near as bad as what you describe but I have never considered returning, sounds like things have got worse since

I had my reason to give it a neutral which I have stated above .

But yes things are not rosy in TPC as every other TPC review has been depicting.

More and more punters are coming out of the woodwork to affirm with this .

Offline Kraatos

This reads like an angst laden Woody Allen monologue. You came more times  than you ever had at an orgy but still left  feeling bitter. I'd love to be at TPC and it's all about me, but sometimes like yourself I find the girls attitude and the other punters just get in the way.

Consider my experience as a string of bad punts on adderall .

I had my reason to give it a neutral which I have stated above .

But yes things are not rosy in TPC as every other TPC review has been depicting.

More and more punters are coming out of the woodwork to affirm with this .

+1...as someone with over 100 visits to LMP during its 'heyday' period (ie EM in control , Marylebone , Lancaster Gate locations) I can most definitely say that current level of service ,attitude , ambience etc provided by 'TPC' is in no way comparable to the previous of LMP.....



Offline piz111

also went recently and it is not the same, i actually had a good time to start with with Vera who is amazing i came late and she beckoned me over while she was being banged got a blow job and doggy, went to the shower to freshen up it smelt so bad i didn't want to stay anymore and was completely put off! Its like they  have never cleaned the drains.  :wackogirl:
« Last Edit: January 05, 2017, 10:51:08 PM by piz111 »

Offline emkay

I've never been to one I've enjoyed as little as you report on this one. For me they've been between pretty good and mind-blowing. Last time Luiza sought me out when I went for a shower and dragged me back into the room and was then amazing. I fantasise about Luiza and Vera at the same time. I must find a way to bunk off work.




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