Berlin Trip

[dsr]

I was intending to be in bed right now, but instead I am going to start writing my Berlin report.  There is no chance of getting to bed as Berlin apparently has a very large Turkish population.  You can tell as they are all outside my hotel honking their horns as they got knocked out of Euro 2016.  Oh, and they are waving gigantic flags outside their cars.  Plus over revving their engines and setting off fireworks.  At nearly midnight Berlin time, with no sign of stopping.

So you will have to excuse any typos as I may have been distracted by yet another banger.

Seriously fuck you Turks.

Anyway, my first day proper was today.  Decided to go to Artemis.  Now this is my first time, so I am going to describe it from scratch which should also help fellow newbies.

So I arrive at Westkruz S bahn.  Got to love this amazing German transportation system.  Anyway, find the exit which is all the way up the stairs.  You get to Artemis by leaving the car park and turning left, walking past what looks like a tyre place.  Only about 5 minutes away.

So I head in, woman on the counter takes my €80 and explains how it all works.  Get a tatty plastic wristband to show I paid, and a sturdier locker key.  You get two lockers.  One for your high value stuff ie wallet which is located in reception.  The other is for your clothes which is shockingly in the changing room.  Lady gives you a robe, and away you go.

So I get changed, grab a pair of flip flops and have a look round.  Don't wear anything under the robe.  You may be self conscious (I was).  This lasts all of five seconds and then feels perfectly normal.  I mean I don't go out of my way to stare at other men's junk, but I am no longer offending by a dude sunbathing starters.

So I have lurked on here for ages.  Read all the advice, I am here in the morning with less people, and I am full of confidence and know exactly what I am doing.  Is what I thought would happen.  As it turns out, I had a sticker on my head that said sucker.  So so totally got sharked by the first woman to come calling.

Nikki - 4/10

I was absolutely shark bait.  Nikki was about 30, massive collagen lips, massive silicon tits.  I just fell into being a massive moron and went with the flow.  First, time, you go for hour, have nice massage?  Jesus fuck, I could have given myself a better massage.  Sex was mechanical at best and session was lucky to last 45-50 mins.  Didn't help I could hear her tell her friends 'cherry' after we had finished.  Needless to say, made sure to avoid her friends for rest of day.

So she took me on tour of place.  It isn't as big as you might think, and the pictures on the Artemis website are more than accurate.  Second floor has changing rooms, the main bar/women area, kino, dining room and leads to the outside.  Dining room serves breakfast between 11-3, typical buffet kind of thing.  They had bread and tea, I was sorted.  The outside had a load of sunloungers, benches, and an outdoor swimming pool.  This was also where they did the grill - Tuesday and Sunday only 6-I don't know for dinner.

Top floor are the rooms, you have to have a girl take you up there.  There are also rooms outside.

Bottom floor has another kino, another (no smoking) bar and the wellness area.  So another pool, saunas of varying kinds, apparently some fitness equipment somewhere and you could have a massage from one of the male guys for some extra euros.  Didn't try it, couldn't tell you the prices.

So after I finished with Nikki, she took me to the locker area, you give her the money and away you go.  Prices you negotiate  with the ladies but it seemed to be pretty set.  Half hour €60, hour €120.  Extras were stuff like CIM, anal etc.  As I know people have been asking, I didn't ask and nor did I get any kissing whatsoever.  Not a big deal for me, but there were no tongues stuck down my throat at any point.

Now at this point, I needed up with a migraine.  Which really fucks with my day at the best of times.  So I ended up not doing a lot for about three-four hours.  Soft drinks are free, I am not sure how you pay for the beer but I wasn't in any mood to try any.  I had to turn away a few people who kept bothering me.

I will carry on this later, but right now they have decided to break out a drum and a vuvuzela.  Seriously fuck these Turks.

[bbj1980]

Sounds like you are having a nightmare buddy. Where you staying? We're arriving on Friday and staying near central train station

[dsr]

Right, to continue.  Now on mobile, so expect even more errors.

To be fair the staff and some of the girls did ask if I was alright.  Eventually brave main bar.  Now how it is supposed to work (when you aren't shark food) is you perv at the ladies, find one you like, chat to her for a bit and then sort out prices.  So I went over to a couple of ladies who had asked if I was okay earlier, and got chatting.

I forgot the name as I had a headache, 7/10

Yes, rookie mistake in not getting the name.  My bad.  Took the blond one upstairs.  Half an hour, no frills.  Once again all the upsells.  No I don't want CIM or anything else thanks. Annoyed me that it seems to be a thing to ask halfway through.  Look I have my cock in you, maybe stop asking about anal right now?  Other than that she was a looker, good blowjob and sex, sorted headache right out.

Now that day Germany playing Norn Iron at Euros.  So I took the time to sample the grill as half the men were watching it.  Sausage, chicken, what I think was pork and fries. Sausage was lukewarm, not a fan of pork but rest was great. I can definitely recommend the grill.

So they still watching the football, time to pounce.  Go to bar, pretty little thing called Alicia came over.

Allycia - 9/10

So at this point you are probably wondering why I haven't just booked a flight back home.  Well this shows what can go right.  Hungarian, brown hair, probably about my height so 5"7 (I am a short arse).  English good.  Do I want to go to a room or kino? Sex in public? I think that is on my bucket list.  So off we go, she puts towel down, puts condom on ( at my request) and then hey mouth apparently turns into a Dyson. Holy fuck it is like the ghost trap from Ghost busters.  Every now and then she lets a load of spit fall from her mouth onto the towel then carries on sucking.  This is hot as hell.

So I am here, bad German porn in background, having my knob sucked through a jet engine and I notice I have one guy and a few girls watching.

"Do you want to ride you?"
Here?
"Yes if you like"

She then gets on top of me and rides me like a pro, letting me cop a feel of her pert tits.  This is what we call in the trade a good time.  She then turns around, holds onto the chair in front and starts to absolutely jackhammer my cock.  It doesn't take me long to finish.

Only reason not a ten is she asked if I wanted CIM during the blowjob.  I suppose that is what to expect in a club like this.  I stayed a bit longer, despite knowing I wasn't going to top that.  Didn't find anyone I really liked, so called it a day sometime after 9.  Did see this fine black woman arrive just as I was leaving but there you go.  Only other regret was this bird who said she was from Columbia.  Sure, via Romania.  Didn't fancy it but she looked like she could go for days.

A few rookie errors but overall had a good time.  Shame about the headache, and I think things don't really get moving till later.  I cannot believe I am listing this as a negative but there was a type.  Eastern European, normally leggy.  If you don't like that archetype there won't be a lot else for you.

[dsr]

Day 2 - Airport Girls

Reason all that is done on phone is I am currently on S Bahn back from here.  I didn't last long.  Really not my thing.  So I get to the airport S Bahn stop, turn left and keep going to see the red house. Ring doorbell.  Guy from side waves me down.  Follow him, about six eastern European dudes there.  Well this looks fun.  Pay my €60, get told in bad English lockers there, change there, go upstairs.  Get given key with bit of elastic round.

Get changed, go up. Get coke.  Takes about five attempts as apparently coke doesn't mean coke cola.  Poured out a bottle, looks like Panda Cola.  Girl says hi, says go to room.  Bed with space for two, already has two guys being worked on.  I get shoved in middle and get a blow job and ridden.  Place is a dive, flies everywhere, showers basic (being generous) and my cock decides to be sensible for once and shrivels away.  I could not get out of place fast enough, no way I was staying.

Now this is mostly on me.  I was not expecting the free for all nature of it, thought it would be individual rooms.  But I couldn't stand the place from the minute I stepped inside.  Too grimey for me.  Great value for money, but I don't think I would have cum once there.  Oh well, live and learn.

[FlyingBreadMan]

DSR, thank you for report. Were there many stunners at Artemis? Last year there were quite a few, but not sure if euro has affected the population there this year.

Thanks

[dsr]

Can only speak for my personal preference, but to me the amount of hot females was pretty fucking high.  There were.a few duffers but overall I would go for the vast majority.

Kind of want to try it late at night, as in after midnight to see exsctly what is there.  I did morning to evening but did seem to be more coming after 9pm.  Maybe someone with a bit more experience can tell us whether that is true or not.

When I get chance I will try and tidy up those posts, they seem massive and are probably filled with mistakes.

[Ben4454]

Right, to continue.  Now on mobile, so expect even more errors.

To be fair the staff and some of the girls did ask if I was alright.  Eventually brave main bar.  Now how it is supposed to work (when you aren't shark food) is you perv at the ladies, find one you like, chat to her for a bit and then sort out prices.  So I went over to a couple of ladies who had asked if I was okay earlier, and got chatting.

I forgot the name as I had a headache, 7/10

Yes, rookie mistake in not getting the name.  My bad.  Took the blond one upstairs.  Half an hour, no frills.  Once again all the upsells.  No I don't want CIM or anything else thanks. Annoyed me that it seems to be a thing to ask halfway through.  Look I have my cock in you, maybe stop asking about anal right now?  Other than that she was a looker, good blowjob and sex, sorted headache right out.

Now that day Germany playing Norn Iron at Euros.  So I took the time to sample the grill as half the men were watching it.  Sausage, chicken, what I think was pork and fries. Sausage was lukewarm, not a fan of pork but rest was great. I can definitely recommend the grill.

So they still watching the football, time to pounce.  Go to bar, pretty little thing called Alicia came over.

Allycia - 9/10

So at this point you are probably wondering why I haven't just booked a flight back home.  Well this shows what can go right.  Hungarian, brown hair, probably about my height so 5"7 (I am a short arse).  English good.  Do I want to go to a room or kino? Sex in public? I think that is on my bucket list.  So off we go, she puts towel down, puts condom on ( at my request) and then hey mouth apparently turns into a Dyson. Holy fuck it is like the ghost trap from Ghost busters.  Every now and then she lets a load of spit fall from her mouth onto the towel then carries on sucking.  This is hot as hell.

So I am here, bad German porn in background, having my knob sucked through a jet engine and I notice I have one guy and a few girls watching.

"Do you want to ride you?"
Here?
"Yes if you like"

She then gets on top of me and rides me like a pro, letting me cop a feel of her pert tits.  This is what we call in the trade a good time.  She then turns around, holds onto the chair in front and starts to absolutely jackhammer my cock.  It doesn't take me long to finish.

Only reason not a ten is she asked if I wanted CIM during the blowjob.  I suppose that is what to expect in a club like this.  I stayed a bit longer, despite knowing I wasn't going to top that.  Didn't find anyone I really liked, so called it a day sometime after 9.  Did see this fine black woman arrive just as I was leaving but there you go.  Only other regret was this bird who said she was from Columbia.  Sure, via Romania.  Didn't fancy it but she looked like she could go for days.

A few rookie errors but overall had a good time.  Shame about the headache, and I think things don't really get moving till later.  I cannot believe I am listing this as a negative but there was a type.  Eastern European, normally leggy.  If you don't like that archetype there won't be a lot else for you.

Did you see a dark haired chubby shark walking around? She hates my guts for turning her down at Artemis on my first visit  ever since then shes stalked me and nearly knocked me off my chair on my second visit when walking past

[Jerboa]

Can only speak for my personal preference, but to me the amount of hot females was pretty fucking high.  There were.a few duffers but overall I would go for the vast majority.

Kind of want to try it late at night, as in after midnight to see exsctly what is there.  I did morning to evening but did seem to be more coming after 9pm.  Maybe someone with a bit more experience can tell us whether that is true or not.

When I get chance I will try and tidy up those posts, they seem massive and are probably filled with mistakes.

Yes the night shift start coming in from about 8pm, so by leaving at 9pm you missed out, with a club like Artemis, it's best to pace yourself, take your time, use the wellness facilities like the saunas, pools, steam rooms, and just perv more at the naked girls.

[dsr]

Did you see a dark haired chubby shark walking around? She hates my guts for turning her down at Artemis on my first visit  ever since then shes stalked me and nearly knocked me off my chair on my second visit when walking past

You know I mentioned I got sharked as soon as I went in?  I have a horrible feeling that was your friend 

As far as the late shift goes I thought as much.  Wanted to get in early as first ever FKK visit.  Headache put brakes on any plans to stay longer.  Might not do anything tomorrow, just sightseeing.  Only other things to try are some brothels.  Speaking of which...

Day 2 - Liberty

Well it was near the end of the day, did some tourist things.  Hmm, what to do.  I know, I shall try a brothel.  Seems a perfectly good use of my time.  So went to Liberty.  From what I can gather these places can be a bitch to find.  In this case, there is a door right next to a large, gay adult store. One of the buzzers says Liberty.  Only thing to highlight where it is.  Get buzzed in.  I have no idea where I am going here.  Typical dingy council block style flats by the look of it.  Just like back home .  I wander up the stairs having no idea which door to go in.  Get to second floor, massive sign on the door with a buzzer next to it.  Take off my deerstalker after a bit of fine mystery solving and in I go.

Older madam opens door.  I ask for English, she tells me to sit down in this little room.  Girls come in, say hi, leave.  Then pick a girl.  Oh god, time to remember names.  Instead the place it is much fancier than the outside, done up exactly as the pictures suggest.  About 5-10 girls come in.  I pick Eva.  Plus thanks to the wonders of the internet...

Hidden Image/Members Only

Grapes not included.

External Link/Members Only

Pics are accurate.  Speaks enough English to get by.  So just like Team European at home then.  Takes me into room and then asks what I want.  Just go for half an hour, no extras, €60.  She seems quiet but I am always super passive so that is more on me.  Decent blowjob, she gets in top and I just don't last long.  Good enough for me though.  Probably wouldn't give her an actual rating as DSR Jr didn't want to hang around today.

So tomorrow if I do go anywhere I fancy trying Aston, Kamilla La Dee or Royal.  Unless so just decide to fuck it and go to Artemis again.  For someone who doesn't fancy doing anything tomorrow I have a lot of plans 

I read up on massage parlours, but looking at the pictures they all seem to be Eastern European places again.  Which is fine, but I have yet to find anyone to beat the Thai's for massage.  So probably won't give that a go.  Probably.  I am terrible at this.

[ClitTeaser]

At Artemis - the quiet ones are the best.

[Zalaroon]

I skipped Airport Girls on my recent trip, didn't see how it could have improved since last year. Clearly has actually got worse. Instincts trusted - 

Get yourself to Insomnia man!

[momochan]

how would you rate the girls in airport girls out of 10 , disregarding the shithole that it looked like to you ?

Day 2 - Airport Girls

Reason all that is done on phone is I am currently on S Bahn back from here.  I didn't last long.  Really not my thing.  So I get to the airport S Bahn stop, turn left and keep going to see the red house. Ring doorbell.  Guy from side waves me down.  Follow him, about six eastern European dudes there.  Well this looks fun.  Pay my €60, get told in bad English lockers there, change there, go upstairs.  Get given key with bit of elastic round.

Get changed, go up. Get coke.  Takes about five attempts as apparently coke doesn't mean coke cola.  Poured out a bottle, looks like Panda Cola.  Girl says hi, says go to room.  Bed with space for two, already has two guys being worked on.  I get shoved in middle and get a blow job and ridden.  Place is a dive, flies everywhere, showers basic (being generous) and my cock decides to be sensible for once and shrivels away.  I could not get out of place fast enough, no way I was staying.

Now this is mostly on me.  I was not expecting the free for all nature of it, thought it would be individual rooms.  But I couldn't stand the place from the minute I stepped inside.  Too grimey for me.  Great value for money, but I don't think I would have cum once there.  Oh well, live and learn.

[Jerboa]

how would you rate the girls in airport girls out of 10 , disregarding the shithole that it looked like to you ?

You never expect hot lookers at partytreffs, some are attractive, but usually a large gulf in looks if you compared them to the girls at Artemis, so it's down to the punter to what he wants.

[dsr]

Welp it looks like I cannot edit posts, so you are stuck with how bad they are.  So on my last day, decided to follow through with my plan of looking at some more brothels.  First up was Aston (External Link/Members Only.  Mainly as I quite like goth girls, and the website has this girl on there.  External Link/Members Only.  Found the place, go up, place looks a bit rough inside.  Stern looking madam sits me down, and out come a succession of real rough looking munters.  Now the girl in the pic above might have a bit of an odd face, but the rest is alright.  In reality, rough as fuck.  So I bailed as quickly as possible. 

Next stop, Royal (External Link/Members Only).  Again for same reasons as above, they had this girl External Link/Members Only.  Go in, get sat down.  Much nicer place.  Out comes the line up.  Lori looked about as disinterested as someone could, so didn't bother with her.  There was a real hotty in red lingerie and glasses called Diana who isn't on their site, so went with her.  Different to Liberty, paid the madam €40 and ended up paying the girl €40-60 (cannot remember exactly which) rather than just all in one go.  No big deal.  Comes in with coke, takes me to shower, takes me back to room and down to business.  She was hot as well, but to my eternal shame I couldn't keep it up.  Blowjob and the little sex I had was great, girl was stunning but I just couldn't manage it.  Turns out she is Persian but educated in US, so no problems with English.  We talked for a bit, tried again, but no luck.  Definitely would try again.

I did end up wandering over to External Link/Members Only but I guy went in about the time I got there, and it is right next to some cafes with a load of people outside.  So really, I should go back to hotel and get stuff ready for flight next day.  Check wallet.  €140 left.  Now where could I spend that?  So back to Artemis I went.  Yes I know, a lot for likely just one go but what the hell.

So I get there about 10pm.  There are more girls but a lot more punters.  Again though, really struggled to find something that really floated my boat.  Had a girl said she remembered me from Wednesday.  Now if you cannot even get the day right, then fuck off.  Had two girls come up to see if I wanted lesbian show.  Sadly didn't have the cash.  Went down to pool, had a few more drinks.  Then I spotted this blonde girl with hairband.  Sadly, she was busy sucking a dude off in the kino.  Did see what I think was a fit Russian and a few black girls who looked nice but never got round to them.  Go back to lounging around, finally see the hairband girl wandering.  Go to find her, she if she wanted a drink (yes I know, don't say it).  Then just said do you want to get a room as she didn't seem big on conversation.

Marcella - 7/10

No real problems with English, just wasn't into small talk.  Actual German (or so she said).  As mentioned blonde, big natural tits and got me hard immediately.  Just went for basics.  Blow job was decent, sex was good.  Made all the right noises, kept eye contact and at least pretended to enjoy it.  Finished in doggy, shower, couldn't see anyone else then went home.

It was a good trip, I enjoyed Berlin and the extra activities were fun to say the least.  I much prefer the FKK scene compared to anything else, which I think is just a personal thing.  Next thing I need to try is some of the other places in Germany.  If only my airport did direct flights to Cologne...

[Ben4454]

There is/was a girl in Artemis called Tatiana. I rate her. She is a dark haired little hottie. I'd give her 8 out of 10. It was a good punt back last November.