External Link/Members OnlySometimes in life you make a couple of pretty shitty decisions, hoping, praying almost with every fibre in your body that it'd work out. Other times you make shitty decisions cos you haven't quite adjusted to the situation you find yourself in, and the lack of the decision is effectively the same as a bad decision. I made two such decisions that ended up in the worst punt, shag, experience and sight of my life.
Was up in Sheffield for a couple of meetings, been horny for a few days so I thought I'd take a punt whilst I was there. Hunted around for someone close to the centre as I didn't want to end up travelling too far and came across Sarah. Saw a positive review and decided to go for it. She responded quickly by text and was all set. Got to the apartment, clear instructions and within a few mins I was in the flat.
Bad decision 1 - I was about as attracted to her as I would be to a dead rat. I should have walked but instead followed her into the bedroom. Hope is eternal as they say, maybe she's a great shag my ever optimistic penis said to me.
We get in, yes she's the girl in the pics but not the same body, must be from a few years ago. Looks older (not by much), was dressed in some leggings and a top. She asked me how long, 30 mins, paperwork done and she left for 5 or so mins. Came back, asked me to get comfortable. Its at this point I realised I didn't even clarify services, this mistake came down to the fact that I underestimated how poor her english was and secondly I trusted her profile. Anyway, the severe lack of attraction wasn't helping and to be honest I really couldn't care less what was on the menu because I didn't fancy dining out.
Started to undress herself and that should have been q number two to get the fuck out of dodge. Her body was not great, I picked her mainly due to her petite frame in the pics and she looked pretty fit. I really thought I couldn't be more turned off but I was wrong, once I saw her naked I pretty much knew my primary objective should be to pump and dump. Problem is thats really not my thing. If I wanted to see a body like that I could have just looked in the mirror at home!
Cut a long story short, no kissing of any form, OW which lasted no more than 30 seconds. Doggy 2 mins, asked her to do cowgirl and I kid you not, after 1 and a half minutes she said she was tired and that my dick was "too strong" for her. I really have no idea what she was talking about but I knew she was rushing to get me out. I couldn't come, she offered a massage, 2 minutes later she said sorry and that was my signal to leave.
What a complete disaster, punt lasted about 15 mins. No touching of any form, no GFE, not even pretending. Rushed, rubbish and Romanian is probably the best way to sum it all up.
In true review style, would I go back? If rubbing shards of glass into my eyes didn't blind me then maybe, otherwise no fucking chance.
Would I recommend her, yeah sure, if your into the 3 R's above
What a complete waste of time, two wrongs don't make a right in the punting game......worst punt of my life by a country mile
