Author Topic: Alana Elite (lol) - East Manchester (AW) Crap & Condescending  (Read 1560 times)


3 review(s) for MISS ALANA (2 positive, 0 neutral, 1 negative) [Indexed by Kool Keef]

Offline Kool Keef

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 I'll keep this short & unsweet because it was wank (literally)

Comms were unnecessarily convoluted, involving lots of texts & phone calls & gratuitous use of the patronising  term "sweetie".

Working out of a dump of a council flat in the middle of a council estate near the Etihad  (need to stop punting near The Council House I haven't had a decent one there yet  :scare:)
Clean but the Ritz it wasn't.
OK in the daytime but wouldn't fancy it at night.

Alana's 40 something imo, great body with fantastic natural tits & flat stomach, facially average, not ugly, not fit.
Pics are her but obviously touched up.

She's from down south,  quite well spoken, a hint of a sense of humour but generally quite cold, mechanical & buisnesslike.
Very Rom.
No chance of banter  (for want of a better word ) or any chemistry.

Zero kissing, she tried to start with a time wasting massage, a fantastic deep OWO BJ but it only lasted a minute before she started wanking me, I  had to ask her to suck me again,  this BS routine went on throughout the punt.  :dash:
Later on she made a sarcastic face & sound because I'd not popped at that point, even though there was nearly 10 mins left.

Clockwatcher, tried to rush me til I showed her, on my watch, that I had plenty of time.

Rubber & loads of lube on, started with CG, decent but she was lazy & soon climbed off.
Doggy was cut short by her cos she said I was going too hard.
Same with Mish, I was in 3rd gear tops btw, if she thinks that's hard she hasn't seen shit ffs!
Back to BJ & the same minute long suck then wanking routine  :dash:
Then came the sarcastic smile so I decided to finish myself off before she went full bitch, predictably she ducked the partial CIM she said she'd give me.
Poor.
Rom like.
She seems jaded, a close inspection shows the wear & tear on her face.
Maybe it was me  :unknown: but I couldn't give a fuck really,  I was clean & polite & I'm paying her well to fkn fake it at least.

Cleaned myself up cos she was straight on the phone to the next lucky bleeder on the conveyor belt.

Would I return?
Not in this lifetime  :sarcastic:

Oh well, onto the next one  :cool:

£60 for 30 mins
No extras.

Offline NigelF

I was slightly interested in this one but not anymore, cheers for the review :drinks:

Offline Kool Keef

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I was slightly interested in this one but not anymore, cheers for the review :drinks:

The experience was about as sensual & erotic as getting your car or boiler serviced

Offline Bustydusty

Very useful review thanks - off the hl for good :thumbsdown:

Offline freeze44

Cheers KK for the review and sounds v poor! Off the possiblles list!!

Offline Moby Dick

The experience was about as sensual & erotic as getting your car or boiler serviced
:thumbsup:
That reminds me to get my boiler serviced and chinney swept before it gets much colder. :hi:

Offline Kool Keef

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:thumbsup:
That reminds me to get my boiler serviced and chinney swept before it gets much colder. :hi:

Always happy to help  ;)

Offline ulstersubbie

That's a rough old manor, I should know as I once lived in Openshaw which is not a million miles away. Good review, cheers!

Offline samneil15

Yep invaluable review KK- Sniffed it a couple times myself but I'll steer well clear.

The only good thing in that area right now is Rosie Thai imo. Otherwise I wouldn't want to go near Gorton/Beswick area

Offline cash2spare

Thanks for the thumbs up O/P one to avoid deffo.