Why is it difficult to walk away from a punt: Psychology 101

[Corus Boy]

When arriving for a punt I believe we expect the girl we booked to open the door, dressed as requested, with a welcoming smile on her face, she will look hot and we'll enter and have a great time! That is our positive mind set, so when a B & S minger opens the door we are knocked into a state of shock and are easy prey, as until a few moments earlier walking was not in our mind, so the little brain is in control.

Mental rehersal or the six P's will change our mindset, so for me as I approach a new front door, walking is the first thing in my mind, as are the words, "Sorry this is not for me."

So the big brain is in control and ready to turn and walk.

[smartieshouse]

Left wallet in the car & a trip on Pornhub when i get home.

Much prefer to save my cash for a girl i want to see rather than a crap 30/ 60 minutes.

[peter purves]

So given that we accept that punters have different ranges of innate assertiveness you rule out punting experience as having any bearing on the issue... Really?

As long as the 'really' is not a sarcastic comment.

All I am trying to say is being an 'experienced' punter needs not necessarily lead to a punter being 'assertive'. I think if one is assertive in one's everyday life then one is like to be so in the punting arena. There is no reason why an assertive but yet inexperienced punter may choose NOT to walk. The two are not mutually exclusive IMHO.

We have read loads of stories on this site, where 'experienced' punters should have been more 'assertive' but have not been

[Arley Hall]

We have read loads of stories on this site, where 'experienced' punters should have been more 'assertive' but have not been

This certainly rings true. 'Experienced' can just mean 'old'! Experience has maybe taught me to more selective in the first place, but that's about it.

I suspect that many of us are not 'assertive' simply because the situation isn't sufficiently clear-cut ..... The girl isn't the one in the photos, but she's still friendly and attractive. The girl is a bit distant, but she's hot and we still want to get inside her panties. The girl isn't as attractive as we'd hoped, but she seems willing enough. We've psyched ourselves up and we want to have some kind of outlet. We're not daft - we know we're taking a risk - but we decide to go through with it anyway. The only thing I can say for sure is that is that I'd walk if the girl was rude or agressive. I hate that but, frankly, I can't remember the last time it happened. If it goes badly we may say: "I should have walked" but the truth is we didn't want to walk when it really mattered - i.e. beforehand.

So in my view it's not about being more assertive, because we are mostly doing what we want to do at the time. I think it's about changing our mindset so that we really don't want to punt unless everything is perfect. That's much more difficult because essentially it's about overcoming an addiction.

[Plan R]

I used to punt LOADS back in the 90's when I was in my 20s and driven..
Just getting back into it now.
It was so much harder then (no pun intended), I mean we (I) didn't have; Internet, mobile phone, GPS, or a very reliable car!

It basically involved buying a yellow advertiser (local ads paper), finding a side street with a coin or phonecard operated (urine marinated) phonebox, calling an add from the back of said paper to get a vastly inaccurate description which invariably contained the phrase 'firm heavy bust'
This was enough to drive me mad with lust
The good old days...

As you can imagine I had to abort at least 40% of my punts because the girl was heinous 
My tactic (if she was a hound) was to look interested, then ask where the nearest cash point was, promising to back with the readies in 10minutes...(cough)

Out in the street, jump in my knackered red Ford Sierra and off!

[Horizontal pleasures]

I used to punt LOADS back in the 90's when I was in my 20s and driven..
Just getting back into it now.
It was so much harder then (no pun intended), I mean we (I) didn't have; Internet, mobile phone, GPS, or a very reliable car!

It basically involved buying a yellow advertiser (local ads paper), finding a side street with a coin or phonecard operated (urine marinated) phonebox, calling an add from the back of said paper to get a vastly inaccurate description which invariably contained the phrase 'firm heavy bust'
This was enough to drive me mad with lust
The good old days...

As you can imagine I had to abort at least 40% of my punts because the girl was heinous 
My tactic (if she was a hound) was to look interested, then ask where the nearest cash point was, promising to back with the readies in 10minutes...(cough)

Out in the street, jump in my knackered red Ford Sierra and off!

For me the mystery of who the lady might be was part of the fun and the anticipation.

There were also contact mags like Rendezvous, from which I had an adventure where I learned my first fellatio and cunnilingus - as we used to call it.

[peter purves]

This certainly rings true. 'Experienced' can just mean 'old'! Experience has maybe taught me to more selective in the first place, but that's about it.

I suspect that many of us are not 'assertive' simply because the situation isn't sufficiently clear-cut ..... The girl isn't the one in the photos, but she's still friendly and attractive. The girl is a bit distant, but she's hot and we still want to get inside her panties. The girl isn't as attractive as we'd hoped, but she seems willing enough. We've psyched ourselves up and we want to have some kind of outlet. We're not daft - we know we're taking a risk - but we decide to go through with it anyway. The only thing I can say for sure is that is that I'd walk if the girl was rude or agressive. I hate that but, frankly, I can't remember the last time it happened. If it goes badly we may say: "I should have walked" but the truth is we didn't want to walk when it really mattered - i.e. beforehand.

So in my view it's not about being more assertive, because we are mostly doing what we want to do at the time. I think it's about changing our mindset so that we really don't want to punt unless everything is perfect. That's much more difficult because essentially it's about overcoming an addiction.

Sorry Arley,it looks as if you have not really changed your position

However, I do not think the aforesaid in bold is true.

The Psychology lecture clearly shows we can get 'forced' into positions (excuse the pun) and situations that we do not want to particpate in.

I see you have not done your homework - yet again 

[Turtle Z]

As long as the 'really' is not a sarcastic comment.

All I am trying to say is being an 'experienced' punter needs not necessarily lead to a punter being 'assertive'. I think if one is assertive in one's everyday life then one is like to be so in the punting arena. There is no reason why an assertive but yet inexperienced punter may choose NOT to walk. The two are not mutually exclusive IMHO.

We have read loads of stories on this site, where 'experienced' punters should have been more 'assertive' but have not been

No, the "Really" relates to the fact that you hadn't really thought it through. You're re-confirming the same points already confirmed by me, which is that we accept that ranges of assertiveness exist in both experienced and inexperienced punters and you're stating the obvious that the two are not mutually exclusive. The point is that given these natural ranges in behaviour, confidence still develops with punting experience and therefore theres a higher probability that experienced punters will walk. Are you really disagreeing with this point?

[peter purves]

No, the "Really" relates to the fact that you hadn't really thought it through. You're re-confirming the same points already confirmed by me, which is that we accept that ranges of assertiveness exist in both experienced and inexperienced punters and you're stating the obvious that the two are not mutually exclusive. The point is that given these natural ranges in behaviour, confidence still develops with punting experience and therefore theres a higher probability that experienced punters will walk. Are you really disagreeing with this point?

Cheers,

I understand your point . However, without being pedantic, I think we may have to define what is an 'experienced punter'?

I agree punting can make a man confident etc but whether this will lead to walking I am not so sure.

However, I do believe if someone is 'assertive' (whether young or old) in their civvy life then there's a higher probability of them walking from a punt irrespective of whether they are an experienced punter or not.

The key variable is 'assertiveness' as opposed to 'experienced' punter' that is correlated to a punter walking. This is what I am trying to suggest...

[Turtle Z]

Cheers,

I understand your point . However, without being pedantic, I think we may have to define what is an 'experienced punter'?

No, you are definitely being pedantic and stating the obvious again. No we don't have to define an experienced punter, just about every punter on here will be able to tell you whether he considers himself experienced. I'm generally confident and I'm an experienced punter but I'm far more comfortable now with walking due to my experience.

[peter purves]

No, you are definitely being pedantic and stating the obvious again. No we don't have to define an experienced punter, just about every punter on here will be able to tell you whether he considers himself experienced. I'm generally confident and I'm an experienced punter but I'm far more comfortable now with walking due to my experience.

I think you may have then been describing your own personal experience then.

Just a few questions, if I may:

Can you confirm that:

1. It was more punting that made you assertive and gave you the ability to walk

or

2. You became more assertive outside of the punting world and subsequently applied it to punting and that gave you the ability to walk?

and a third question, which would be interesting:

3. Were you able to apply this new-found assertiveness into your civvy life.

There ends the interrogation

[Turtle Z]

I think you may have then been describing your own personal experience then.

Just a few questions, if I may:

Can you confirm that:

1. It was more punting that made you assertive and gave you the ability to walk

or

2. You became more assertive outside of the punting world and subsequently applied it to punting and that gave you the ability to walk?

and a third question, which would be interesting:

3. Were you able to apply this new-found assertiveness into your civvy life.

There ends the interrogation

WTF are you talking about and whose experience were you describing? Re-read my previous post where I said that I'm generally confident anyway, so much so that I regularly speak in front of large audiences.  It is not simply the confidence that comes with the punting experience, its learning and knowing the ropes, it's understanding that actually it's the girls that have taken the piss, it's learning that actually you won't hurt anyones feelings because generally speaking they're hard faced cynical twats.

[peter purves]

WTF are you talking about and whose experience were you describing? Re-read my previous post where I said that I'm generally confident anyway, so much so that I regularly speak in front of large audiences.  It is not simply the confidence that comes with the punting experience, its learning and knowing the ropes, it's understanding that actually it's the girls that have taken the piss, it's learning that actually you won't hurt anyones feelings because generally speaking they're hard faced cynical twats.

Cheers, Not sure what to say except what I stated previously

 I do believe if someone is 'assertive' (whether young or old) in their civvy life then there's a higher probability of them walking away from a punt irrespective of whether they are an experienced punter or not, because they will be able to demonstrate the qualities which you have highlighted above.

The key variable is 'assertiveness' (ie attitude/mindset) as opposed to 'experienced' (ie behaviour) that is correlated and/or the 'cause' of a punter having the wherewithal to walk.

It is clear that you believe that being 'experienced' is the overriding factor.

This is cool, but it is just not my reasoning.

[the_exile]

Back in the day of selecting girls from the back of The Sport the girl was often your only choice, otherwise it was back home for a wank of Whitehouse Readers Digest - my fav mag of the 90's!!:-)

Yeah, the Sport - or the locl free papers!

The point is you don't want to go home for a wank so you're more likely to go through with the punt.

[Arley Hall]

I do believe if someone is 'assertive' (whether young or old) in their civvy life then there's a higher probability of them walking away from a punt irrespective of whether they are an experienced punter or not, because they will be able to demonstrate the qualities which you have highlighted above.

I think my point is that to be assertive you have to be clear in your own mind about what you want. What some of us lack is that initial clarity and strong emotional reaction to the situation. Reading comments on here it seems that many punters feel really pissed off if the girl/services are not exactly as described. For somebody like me, the girl would have to be rude or aggressive to produce such powerful emotions.

So - yes - maybe assertiveness is the key if part of being assertive is to feel indignant in that way. I suppose it depends on how you define the word.

Having said that, if I could wave a magic wand and suddenly become that sort of person, I'm not sure I would choose to. It would mean that I was constantly fuming and fretting about things every moment of day. I don't think that would enhance my quality of life.

[smiths]

I think my point is that to be assertive you have to be clear in your own mind about what you want. What some of us lack is that initial clarity and strong emotional reaction to the situation. Reading comments on here it seems that many punters feel really pissed off if the girl/services are not exactly as described. For somebody like me, the girl would have to be rude or aggressive to produce such powerful emotions.

So - yes - maybe assertiveness is the key if part of being assertive is to feel indignant in that way. I suppose it depends on how you define the word.

Having said that, if I could wave a magic wand and suddenly become that sort of person, I'm not sure I would choose to. It would mean that I was constantly fuming and fretting about things every moment of day. I don't think that would enhance my quality of life.

I am one who is pissed off if a WG is a liar and/or offers a bad service or fucks me about before a punt but after she has accepted my booking. But I am not constantly fuming and fretting at all.

[Arley Hall]

I am one who is pissed off if a WG is a liar and/or offers a bad service or fucks me about before a punt but after she has accepted my booking. But I am not constantly fuming and fretting at all.

No - I didn't mean to suggest that was necessarily the case for other people. It's just that I'd be afraid, in my case, that other things would start to piss me off as well - so I'd end up feeling worse, not better. But it's all theoretical anyway, because the magic wand doesn't exist.

[Ramone78]

Its easy, don't know what the fuss is about, you listen when you go in and note if any Boyfriend / Pimp is around
You Confirm its the same girl and the requested services are available at the previously agreed price
Any as in ANY hesitation then I leave, unless its a TOFTT situation
I couldn't give a flying fuck about offending them.

[smiths]

No - I didn't mean to suggest that was necessarily the case for other people. It's just that I'd be afraid, in my case, that other things would start to piss me off as well - so I'd end up feeling worse, not better. But it's all theoretical anyway, because the magic wand doesn't exist.

Fair enough.

[Arley Hall]

The Psychology lecture clearly shows we can get 'forced' into positions (excuse the pun) and situations that we do not want to particpate in.

Yes - many of us get drawn into punts that we later realise were a mistake - so the basic psychology is correct. My view is that people only change their behaviour if some overwhelming emotion pushes them to do so. In the case of punting that emotion has to be stronger than the punter's desire to have some kind of experience rather than none at all. For some punters who walk the overwhelming emotion (i.e. the one that wins out in the end) is being pissed off with the girl for misrepresenting herself. Those are the ones we may choose to call 'assertive', depending on how we define the word. For others (myself included) that emotion isn't strong enough. Maybe we need to work on being pissed off with ourselves for making the same mistake over and over again - or maybe that will come naturally at some point.

Obviously I can only speak for myself. Maybe there are guys out there who really 100% don't want to go through with a punt, but are staying nevertheless - who knows? I know that my own emotions are far more confused and mixed.

[peter purves]

Yes - many of us get drawn into punts that we later realise were a mistake - so the basic psychology is correct. My view is that people only change their behaviour if some overwhelming emotion pushes them to do so. In the case of punting that emotion has to be stronger than the punter's desire to have some kind of experience rather than none at all. For some punters who walk the overwhelming emotion (i.e. the one that wins out in the end) is being pissed off with the girl for misrepresenting herself. Those are the ones we may choose to call 'assertive', depending on how we define the word. For others (myself included) that emotion isn't strong enough. Maybe we need to work on being pissed off with ourselves for making the same mistake over and over again - or maybe that will come naturally at some point.

Obviously I can only speak for myself. Maybe there are guys out there who really 100% don't want to go through with a punt, but are staying nevertheless - who knows? I know that my own emotions are far more confused and mixed.

Some interesting points Arley,

I see your point about frustration .

What I mean by assertive is when a punter is overall unhappy and knows he does not want to punt but feels compelled to do so. It does not have to be a 100% feeling of unhappiness as suggested above but nonetheless enough to know that the punter should walk - but he 'chooses' not to 

So assertiveness can be defined if you like as the attitude or  the ability to walk away from a punt if you so choose.

If we use this yardstick then it opens up a can of worms.

[Lolapinga_x]

I've been in a position as a WG where I've put two people away, for the first time in two years I should add. Sadly I was mid booking and both with horrible men. I never thought that would happen to me. But, to get back on topic, if a client was to turn up at my door and not like what he seen, I'd rather he left with money in hand and spent it with someone he'd be happy with than both of us be left feeling like shit. I don't think it's as big a deal as people make out, however, I understand as a client, you may feel worse about walking out/cancellation. Don't though, go with your gut. X