Regular Punt - Developed into Bareback Option (not taken)

[SlamBoy]

Serious question/scenario, so please bear with me before cracking your keyboard with the most predictable outrage:

I've been seeing an SP regularly for about two years. She generally only offers massage and HE - no sex.

I've probably seen her about 40 times. For the first year, it was definitely just a massage and HE play. Then, after about a year, it progressed into protected sex (at my suggestion). On my last visit, it became obvious by the way were we together that BB would be an option if I wanted it. I tactfully abstained (although, if I'm honest, it was difficult) and only had protected sex.

She has indicated that things have only progressed this way because we have known each other for a couple of years and she trusts me. Given how long it took to go from HE to protected and then to BB potentially being on the table, I am becoming persuaded that the situation might be genuine.

I was tempted. Am I being an idiot here? Or could a situation like this exist where something organic does genuinely develop?

[Kev40ish]

Serious question/scenario, so please bear with me before cracking your keyboard with the most predictable outrage:

I've been seeing an SP regularly for about two years. She generally only offers massage and HE - no sex.

I've probably seen her about 40 times. For the first year, it was definitely just a massage and HE play. Then, after about a year, it progressed into protected sex (at my suggestion). On my last visit, it became obvious by the way were we together that BB would be an option if I wanted it. I tactfully abstained (although, if I'm honest, it was difficult) and only had protected sex.

She has indicated that things have only progressed this way because we have known each other for a couple of years and she trusts me. Given how long it took to go from HE to protected and then to BB potentially being on the table, I am becoming persuaded that the situation might be genuine.

I was tempted. Am I being an idiot here? Or could a situation like this exist where something organic does genuinely develop?

I’m not sure what answer your looking for. You know already what people are going to say!!!!
It’s up to you, but how many others are special like you?

[stampjones]

I’m not sure what answer your looking for. You know already what people are going to say!!!!
It’s up to you, but how many others are special like you?

Or even if he is special, how much easier is it for her to say yes next time some other bloke offers extra for bb. And the time after that..

[SlamBoy]

I’m not sure what answer your looking for. You know already what people are going to say!!!!
It’s up to you, but how many others are special like you?

You are correct, oF course. And that's the answer I would have given were someone other than me asking the question. That's why I'm genuinely a bit stumped by it. Because I'm as hardened as any of the guys on here about such things. But when one is in the middle of it instead of observing it, it seems that one will consider reasons that could justify it (as I set out) - and that might not necessarily be the right thing. That's why I opened it up for genuine discussion. I appreciate your input Kev 

[Dorsetpunter]

Could be genuine but you are still being an idiot.

[SlamBoy]

Or even if he is special, how much easier is it for her to say yes next time some other bloke offers extra for bb. And the time after that..

Also a very good point.

[SlamBoy]

Could be genuine but you are still being an idiot.

Why? Just because I was tempted but decided not to - and instead I put it out to the community to bring me back to reality. That's a little harsh, my friend.

[vw]

Why? Just because I was tempted but decided not to - and instead I put it out to the community to bring me back to reality. That's a little harsh, my friend.

Who was it? 

[Jonestown]

What do you mean by wondering if its a real situation, whats a real situation, is it that you are contemplating getting into some kind if relationship with this lady ?

[SlamBoy]

Who was it?

I can't say, because (i) she isn't on AW, (ii) and if I told her name and the location (which is where I live rather than the location of my usual punting) I would now be at real risk of being exposed (you'll just have to trust me on this one VW).

As I said, I genuinely don't think she offers this (it took two years as a regular) so I raised it as a thread for comment not because I wanted to create a shit-storm either for her or for me - or expose her as a bare-backer because I don't think she is - it took her a year before she would even have protected sex with me - but because I was wrestling with an uncomfortable dilemma, and just needed genuine input & guidance.

[SlamBoy]

What do you mean by wondering if its a real situation, whats a real situation, is it that you are contemplating getting into some kind if relationship with this lady ?

I suppose the sub-text is that - and you have stated it more clearly that I have. Yes. I supposed I'm wondering if that is how it is progressing and whether I should even entertain the idea. It isn't as if she's asking for anything extra from me. One side of my tells me to shut it down immediately, the other side tells me - it might be a genuine progression.

[vw]

I can't say, because (i) she isn't on AW, (ii) and if I told her name and the location (which is where I live rather than the location of my usual punting) I would now be at real risk of being exposed (you'll just have to trust me on this one VW).

As I said, I genuinely don't think she offers this (it took two years as a regular) so I raised it as a thread for comment not because I wanted to create a shit-storm either for her or for me - or expose her as a bare-backer because I don't think she is - it took her a year before she would even have protected sex with me - but because I was wrestling with an uncomfortable dilemma, and just needed genuine input & guidance.

You being the only spdcial one offered Happened in your mind then.   

[SlamBoy]

You being the only spdcial one offered Happened in your mind then.   

Maybe. She may be cracking on to her other punters in that way. I supposed I was disarmed by the length of time etc. But you're probably right.

[Dorsetpunter]

Why? Just because I was tempted but decided not to - and instead I put it out to the community to bring me back to reality. That's a little harsh, my friend.

You asked are you being an idiot and for considering it in my opinion you are. If we had said no go for it you would maybe off B.B.ing her.

Having said that at least you turned it down.

[shagmore]

She could have thought things where getting stale, and wanted to keep you on board if you have seen her that many times.
I would  say "You really need to talk to her about it" but that won't get you anywhere as she will only say what you want to hear,  and not necessarily the truth.
Only you can make he call, is it a risk you are willing to take. If you go down that path, what next, how much work does she get from other punters, will they be doing bb down the line with here
Can only end in trouble, unless she gives it up, and you both become an item and stay monogamous

[Sheraton]

She may or may not really like but bud it's not worth it as others have advised.  Too many risks: STD, pregnancy etc...
Avoiding BB has left your options wide open to explore other avenues

[SlamBoy]

You asked are you being an idiot and for considering it in my opinion you are. If we had said no go for it you would maybe off B.B.ing her.

Having said that at least you turned it down.

Sorry mate, I probably misinterpreted what you meant. You're right.

[SlamBoy]

She could have thought things where getting stale, and wanted to keep you on board if you have seen her that many times.
I would  say "You really need to talk to her about it" but that won't get you anywhere as she will only say what you want to hear,  and not necessarily the truth.
Only you can make he call, is it a risk you are willing to take. If you go down that path, what next, how much work does she get from other punters, will they be doing bb down the line with here
Can only end in trouble, unless she gives it up, and you both become an item and stay monogamous

You're probably right. Maybe I need to move on and find another regular. This scenario was never supposed to be part of the deal.

[SlamBoy]

She may or may not really like but bud it's not worth it as others have advised.  Too many risks: STD, pregnancy etc...
Avoiding BB has left your options wide open to explore other avenues

Good reasoned advice. Cheers 

[Hungarian Lover]

I've not any sex without a condom for must be about 20 years now and not been offered it by any of the girls so far but it might be hard to resist if I was in your position with a regular girl.  I think you knew what the answers would be on here.

[puntingpumping1920]

99% of prostitutes offer bareback for the right price or a special customer 

You have built a long-term business relationship with this whore, so you was the special customer in this case 

It’s very common

[RedKettle]

I sympathise with what is behind your thinking/post.

I was offered this about third punt in with a WG, in fact more than offered she just started to slip me in!!  I reacted instinctively and pretty much threw her off (she was a small oriental girl) before carrying on with covered sex. I posted a red review on here warning people.

However I have many times since in moments of weakness wondered if I did the wrong thing and I should have just kept her as a BB shag - especially as I struggle to finish with covered sex and frankly the feel of BB is just so good.  Now like you I know that I did the right thing and to do BB with a WG is madness - but the temptation will work away at you.  You need to be on guard and have a stern word with yourself......

[SlamBoy]

I sympathise with what is behind your thinking/post.

I was offered this about third punt in with a WG, in fact more than offered she just started to slip me in!!  I reacted instinctively and pretty much threw her off (she was a small oriental girl) before carrying on with covered sex. I posted a red review on here warning people.

However I have many times since in moments of weakness wondered if I did the wrong thing and I should have just kept her as a BB shag - especially as I struggle to finish with covered sex and frankly the feel of BB is just so good.  Now like you I know that I did the right thing and to do BB with a WG is madness - but the temptation will work away at you.  You need to be on guard and have a stern word with yourself......

This is the sort of feedback I was hoping for. I suppose, because there is such a well-reasoned aversion to BB on UKP, I almost felt like I would be considered a pariah for opening up about it. I did think to myself that I can't be the only one who has found themselves in this situation which is both tempting and confusing - as it forces you to question your own sensibilities.

Given my experience (and reading about yours) I am sure that there are many more punters who have been in this situation but for obvious reasons haven't opened up about it on the forum. We're all human, after all.

I haven't needed to have a stern word with myself, as you guys have taken me out of the emotion of it and set me straight. A great use of the resources available on UKP. Thanks 

[SlamBoy]

. . .  I think you knew what the answers would be on here.

I certainly had an idea. Although I'm glad others have empathised, having also been in that situation.

BB is such an emotive topic on UKP - I'm just relieved the responses have been considered and thoughtful.

[SlamBoy]

99% of prostitutes offer bareback for the right price or a special customer 

You have built a long-term business relationship with this whore, so you was the special customer in this case 

It’s very common

You're probably right. It is something you have also experienced?

[AnthG]

She has indicated that things have only progressed this way because we have known each other for a couple of years and she trusts me. Given how long it took to go from HE to protected and then to BB potentially being on the table, I am becoming persuaded that the situation might be genuine.

She is lying, she is doing it with everyone.

Either that, or you are so truly special to her. If so ask her to see you for no money now and she will say yes.

Here is another hat to throw in the ring. She doesn't know that you have not been banging every skank in town. So even if she now feels comfortable to do it after 40 bookings. She doesn't know what you've been doing

She is doing it with everyone. Trust me...

[SlamBoy]

She is lying, she is doing it with everyone.

Either that, or you are so truly special to her. If so ask her to see you for no money now and she will say yes.

Here is another hat to throw in the ring. She doesn't know that you have not been banging every skank in town. So even if she now feels comfortable to do it after 40 bookings. She doesn't know what you've been doing

She is doing it with everyone. Trust me...

All very persuasive considerations.

[Silver Birch]

It is one thing to consider the madness in the heat of the moment, but still thinking about it now means you are in real danger next time you visit.

Time to move on or I predict you'll BBing next time 

[SlamBoy]

It is one thing to consider the madness in the heat of the moment, but still thinking about it now means you are in real danger next time you visit.

Time to move on or I predict you'll BBing next time 

I think I will have to move on. You're right.

[Gordon Bennett]

40 visits in a couple of years spins this into a dynamic that I just can't comprehend. There must be levels of connection and familiarity after that much intimacy so its unsurprising something arose. I'd have predicted some sort of EAS or clinginess developing...... maybe the BB was a sort of manifestation of that? As I say, well beyond my level of understanding but you did well to resist.

[Autopunter]

Sounds to me like you've gotten a little too comfortable with each other, but these things happen despite ourselves. Most prossies will be bb'ing their significant others/Sergei anyway, even if they don't offer it to their customers, hence the caution about condoms on this site. I wouldn't go there, but I sense that a part of what underlies your question is a query about how this woman feels about you (i.e. does she trust you enough to be getting more casual about your arrangement and want more than a professional one, or is she off seeing half the town without a johnny on lol). The only person who can answer that is her, but be careful to ask it non-judgmentally, or the walls will come right up.

[SlamBoy]

40 visits in a couple of years spins this into a dynamic that I just can't comprehend. There must be levels of connection and familiarity after that much intimacy so its unsurprising something arose. I'd have predicted some sort of EAS or clinginess developing...... maybe the BB was a sort of manifestation of that? As I say, well beyond my level of understanding but you did well to resist.

That's exactly what happened. It has been a manifestation of that.

Whether we like it or not, when a punter and an SP see each other that many times, and each time has been physically, socially and eventually emotionally intimate because of the familiarity that arises (whether that was the intention or not), it must be possible that on occasion the boundaries of what started out as purely a financial arrangement do start to blur both for the SP and punter.

I would welcome any SPs views on that point if they see this thread.

[SlamBoy]

Sounds to me like you've gotten a little too comfortable with each other, but these things happen despite ourselves. Most prossies will be bb'ing their significant others/Sergei anyway, even if they don't offer it to their customers, hence the caution about condoms on this site. I wouldn't go there, but I sense that a part of what underlies your question is a query about how this woman feels about you (i.e. does she trust you enough to be getting more casual about your arrangement and want more than a professional one, or is she off seeing half the town without a johnny on lol). The only person who can answer that is her, but be careful to ask it non-judgmentally, or the walls will come right up.

I think trying to cross over into a completely new dynamic (even though that may have been gradually happening) is probably not the best idea for either of us - so walking away might be the best option.

[marcello]

All in all, I think it's full of regulars getting special treatment, maybe not BB but certainly services WGs may not do with first timers.
Anyway, strong effort from your side to ditch the offered option. I guess in retrospect we're all rational, but not sure how many punters would say no.

[RogerBoner]

Time to move on or I predict you'll BBing next time 

Maybe this thread was started after the OP succumbed to the temptation rather than before?

[puntingpumping1920]

Maybe this thread was started after the OP succumbed to the temptation rather than before?

 
Is that you and a prostitute in your DP

[RogerBoner]

Is that you and a prostitute in your DP

Don't tell the wife 

[Horizontal pleasures]

I am in a minority here in that I often do BB and also I am out about it. I am sure there are many on here who do it but are scared to come out. There are a few who you can see have done it from the names of the ladies they met and reviewed.

I was in the position of failing to orgasm in an umbrella as the years went on (now age 76) and sometimes found ladies who did BB by chance, before AW, and gradually I found more as AW grew. It started with OWO which was an innovation for me on a trip to California maybe 20 years ago. Then came kissing which I also like. British ladies were inhibited about it years ago. I found my first BB through a contact magazine called Rendezvous - she did not advertise it, it just happened. I choose carefully and have never had any nasty disease.

I do checks-up at  private clinic from time to time with NAD results. (medical jargon for Nothing Abnormal Disclosed). External Link/Members Only.

So I like to enjoy life and hope I made the right decision for me and you will make the right decision for you.

[AnthG]

I am in a minority here in that I often do BB and also I am out about it. I am sure there are many on here who do it but are scared to come out. There are a few who you can see have done it from the names of the ladies they met and reviewed.

Any sensible punter would look at the 162 girls you have reviewed and avoid them like the plague.

You do know that Hepatitis and HIV. If you caught it tomorrow it can take up to 3 months to get a positive result. However in that time every girl you bareback you can very easily infect. How would you feel if you did that?

[Kev40ish]

Any sensible punter would look at the 162 girls you have reviewed and avoid them like the plague.

You do know that Hepatitis and HIV. If you caught it tomorrow it can take up to 3 months to get a positive result. However in that time every girl you bareback you can very easily infect. How would you feel if you did that?

You don’t think he’s heard this arguement everytime he’s posted a review?
I appreciate his honesty and I am sure lots of others on here take similar risks, but aren’t honest about it.

All it highlights, is to take appropriate protection of yourself, as you certainly don’t know what Punters or WGs get up to.

[AnthG]

You don’t think he’s heard this arguement everytime he’s posted a review?

I don't live in his area so never seen one of his reviews. But now you say it, yes people would dive on everyone of his reviews. And I would guess girls don't want to be reviews by him. Its kind of good that he still reviews them though.

[Horizontal pleasures]

Please note that I do not do BB with every lady I visit and review.
I do not want to derail the thread from the OP's question, just add another dimension for him to consider.

[Kev40ish]

Please note that I do not do BB with every lady I visit and review.
I do not want to derail the thread from the OP's question, just add another dimension for him to consider.

No it’s good to get your input on the subject HP, you being our resident expert.
 

[Fuzzyduck]

My main observation OP, besides you clearly being a bit fucked up in the head over this, is that it's not really clear what your expectation is. You talk about "progression" but to what? Marriage and kids? What's the end game?
You've not talked about any deep connection or emotional attachment so it doesn't sound like you see this turning into a serious relationship (a whole different set of complications). Do you need some form of progression to keep it interesting? Assuming you don't want to BB her, but can't trust yourself not to, then get out of there.

But if you are prepared to go in without a saddle, just don't kid yourself that you're special.

Best of luck, mate.

[Kev40ish]

My main observation OP, besides you clearly being a bit fucked up in the head over this, is that it's not really clear what your expectation is. You talk about "progression" but to what? Marriage and kids? What's the end game?
You've not talked about any deep connection or emotional attachment so it doesn't sound like you see this turning into a serious relationship (a whole different set of complications). Do you need some form of progression to keep it interesting? Assuming you don't want to BB her, but can't trust yourself not to, then get out of there.

But if you are prepared to go in without a saddle, just don't kid yourself that you're special.

Best of luck, mate.

I think the real problem is he wants to in reality and is hoping someone says it is the right thing to do.

Even though he knows he shouldn’t. I think the OP knows what the right thing to do is.

[hillingdonpete]

Maybe this thread was started after the OP succumbed to the temptation rather than before?

I am inclined to agree with you.

This is a panic and reach out post.

[LLPunting]

OP,
Are you getting more time than you pay for?
Have you met socially with no payment involved?
Do you have a partner that you are cheating on?
Do you want to leave your partner?
Do you know if she is fucking other guys/clients/women?
Is she partnered up?  If so is she having issues with her partner?
Does she have kids?
Do you have kids?
Do you care if she cums?
Does she care if you ever have trouble cumming?
Do you regularly joke about going away together or meeting up outside of her workplace?
If you did BB her how many others would you be putting at risk?
Would you be content being monogamous for her?
Would you want her to be monogamous for you?
Would you want her to quit to be with you?
Do you think she's worth taking the risk with even if she continued to fuck others?

Depending on how you answer these questions you will know what your state of mind is, what your relationship with her is like and the arrangement that you want going forward. 
Regardless of whether we think it's mad or not it's your life you're dancing around the fire with.

We've all had an SP we'd play out Pretty Woman for.

[fallentrees1321]

Serious question/scenario, so please bear with me before cracking your keyboard with the most predictable outrage:

I've been seeing an SP regularly for about two years. She generally only offers massage and HE - no sex.

I've probably seen her about 40 times. For the first year, it was definitely just a massage and HE play. Then, after about a year, it progressed into protected sex (at my suggestion). On my last visit, it became obvious by the way were we together that BB would be an option if I wanted it. I tactfully abstained (although, if I'm honest, it was difficult) and only had protected sex.

She has indicated that things have only progressed this way because we have known each other for a couple of years and she trusts me. Given how long it took to go from HE to protected and then to BB potentially being on the table, I am becoming persuaded that the situation might be genuine.

I was tempted. Am I being an idiot here? Or could a situation like this exist where something organic does genuinely develop?

When you say "Or could a situation like this exist where something organic does genuinely develop?"
What do you mean . Are you thinking about a relationship beyond the financial/business one with this WG . If so ask yourself would you trust her if she said she was no longer  working ? Or would you be happy with a GF who was a WG ?

As for the barebacking , be interested to know how you know it was obvious BB was an option unless she explicitly stated , or you did BB or she tried to put you in without a jacket on .

IMO  from the way that you are thinking about the prospect of BB and wanting to discuss it afterwards , and the way you talk about this WG it is obvious that lines have started to blur . Personally I think it is best that you find a new regular otherwise you will at some point give in the temptation if not already . You said it yourself it was hard to abstain from the BB this time . How much harder is that going to get as time goes on . To be blunt it really seems that from your comments that you have fallen for the "I am her special client" guff , unless she is willing to give you a shag for free you are still just any other client that pays her for sex . When you start to think of yourself as a special client I really think thats the time to have an honest appraisal and move on . 2 years punting the same girl is a long time .

I can sympathise to some extend . I know if my last regular offered me BB(never came up) it would have been hard to turn down because looks wise  she is the sort of girl I would date on civvie street and I did see her many times so we did chat quite a lot  . I am working on finding a new regular because I personally fear this familiarity blurring the lines

Also bear in mind she is willing to take the risk knowing that you pay for sex and not knowing how many other prossies you visit and that if you are willing to BB her you could be willing to BB others . I would honestly say there is an incredibly high liklihood she has or does BB other clients who BB other WG's and so the mixing pot continues god knows what you could be sticking your dick in .

I sympathise with what is behind your thinking/post.

I was offered this about third punt in with a WG, in fact more than offered she just started to slip me in!!  I reacted instinctively and pretty much threw her off (she was a small oriental girl) before carrying on with covered sex. I posted a red review on here warning people.

However I have many times since in moments of weakness wondered if I did the wrong thing and I should have just kept her as a BB shag - especially as I struggle to finish with covered sex and frankly the feel of BB is just so good.  Now like you I know that I did the right thing and to do BB with a WG is madness - but the temptation will work away at you.  You need to be on guard and have a stern word with yourself......

That is poor form for a third punt . I would not even consider that a regular .

I agree though given how good BB feels it is highly tempting sometimes . Not just with WG's but on civvie street with random hook ups . For this reason I really dont like pulling girls in bars and clubs because I know after enough drinks I am likely to take risks .

Any sensible punter would look at the 162 girls you have reviewed and avoid them like the plague.

Literally the first thing I did .

[smiths]

Serious question/scenario, so please bear with me before cracking your keyboard with the most predictable outrage:

I've been seeing an SP regularly for about two years. She generally only offers massage and HE - no sex.

I've probably seen her about 40 times. For the first year, it was definitely just a massage and HE play. Then, after about a year, it progressed into protected sex (at my suggestion). On my last visit, it became obvious by the way were we together that BB would be an option if I wanted it. I tactfully abstained (although, if I'm honest, it was difficult) and only had protected sex.

She has indicated that things have only progressed this way because we have known each other for a couple of years and she trusts me. Given how long it took to go from HE to protected and then to BB potentially being on the table, I am becoming persuaded that the situation might be genuine.

I was tempted. Am I being an idiot here? Or could a situation like this exist where something organic does genuinely develop?

Very naïve if you believe a word she says to you in my book, you have NO idea for sure who she might be fucking BB and I would and have asked myself before walking and never returning why ME when I have been offered BB, why would a WG think I am the special one she can offer BB to. My answer is I am very very unlikely to be the special one, its a tactic to try to keep me as a punter.

On top of this what kind of brain dead moron would offer a punter she cant know what he could be getting up to BB at all. And even if this WG isn't fucking any other punters BB she may be fucking her partner and/or pimp BB and who knows who they might be fucking BB. If it were me and it has been though not for a long time now I would walk and never return and inform punters on here so they are aware.

WGs who do BB on the sly with chosen punters are real dirty skanks who I cant avoid as I am not aware, they are very dangerous in my opinion, at least ones who openly advertise it I can actively avoid. I had a scare last year with a WG who didn't advertise BB or offer it to me, I did a positive review on her on here but not long afterwards a punter I found credible posted she had offered him BB which he refused and walked, that dirty skank put me to inconvenience, I added this info to my review.

[Watts.E.Dunn]

There have been a few occasions over a 10 year punting career where BB has come very close most memorable time was with a superb Japanese girl down in the cloisters in London where we were having a very pleasent bubble bath getting intimate and she was stitting on top of me and she was rubbing herseld on ye olde bell end and it would I'm sure just have slid in and i'd probally have thought WTF lets do it but fortunatly sense prevailed and the moment passed:)

Did have a good time BB'ing a civvie around a couple of years ago was great and to this day I still think of the great times we had but as much as I'd like as well as most all punters hereon a BB session the threat of having to take pills for years, herpes and other nasties have made big brain overule little dick brain each and every time!

Yep must get around to finding a decent civvie but then again i wonder why i started punting in the first place summatt to do with a non obliging civvie missus now long gone perhaps;

Up to you really mate, just weigh up the risks but i'd think long and hard as to where your going with this girl perhaps best to confront her with how you feel and see if she wants a ciivie relationship and will give up the game, after all most girls do at some stage very few are WG's that long are they not?.