Reviewing a girl from Cosmo again, so maybe not tremendously useful to everyone, but I did make a deal with myself that I’d review all my punts in 2016 (bar one), so hopefully this will be of use to someone.
Also note, this was probably a borderline Positive / Neutral for me (and I probably won’t see this girl again), but for the “objective punter” - if there is such a beast – her attractiveness might bring this up to a Positive.
Again, its Cosmopolitan so, no website but wiki page is
External Link/Members Only, and this girl is listed (twice I think) in the review section of the page. I will add this to the wiki page after I post.
Just The Facts Ma’am* Type & Price: Parlour, VIP room, 1h, £90 (no extras)
* Booking & Comms: No booking, usual helpful and friendly receptionist.
* Venue: Big black door on a busy Manchester street (see the wiki page if you don’t know location).
* Services: Kissing / peck on lips (no tongue), OW, RO (no fingers), rimming on her, protected sex (sort of).
There’s No Accounting For TasteI had had a great experience with Ivana at Cosmo a couple of weeks ago, so instead of riding the tram to La Maison (as had been my original plan) I decided to take a stroll along Portland Street.
Two girls were working (Michelle and an English blonde called Becky I think) and I spoke to each privately after paying the receptionist for the VIP room. Disappointingly neither girl was willing to do DFK or OWO, but I chose to go with Michelle as I generally prefer brunettes to blondes.
Michelle is a very tall (5’9” out of heels, about 6’0” in them) and slim Russian girl, brunette with brown eyes (as far as I could tell). She has small, very pert breasts but unfortunately she doesn’t have much of an arse, but at least it isn’t bony. I’d say she is in her early 20’s.
Facially she is objectively beautiful. I would say she is at “professional model” levels and looks like a cross between early (dark haired) Jessica Alba and Natalie Portman (yes, really!) with cute dimples and a nice smile. She as one (tasteful enough) tattoo on her right shoulder blade IIRC.
Personality wise she was a bit reserved and only really loosened up towards the end of the hour. She does have a fantastic laugh, that sounds halfway between witches’ cackle and the noise the aliens made in Mars Attacks (again, yes really!
). She speaks very good English.
After a quick shower we started with a massage (not bad actually, she paid attention to the back, arms and my arse cheeks)) and after a couple of minutes I went down on her for a while. She didn’t seem to be really enjoying much of what I was doing, didn’t allow any fingers but she did get wet (eventually).
I realised that I was wasting time as she wasn’t getting much out of it so I suggested a BJ. She slipped the condom on for OW (she wasn’t willing to do OWO, not for extra). Technique was pretty good (although she did stop using her mouth occasionally and just HJ) and she managed to make me cum in short order.
She took care of the condom and we chatted for a bit, and I ended up giving her an oily massage while I waited for Integral Jr. to spring back into life (she seemed to quite enjoy this and seemed more relaxed and friendly afterwards). She then helped apply a new rubber and we went into doggy and cowgirl. I was a bit disappointed in that she stopped cowgirl after just a few minutes complaining that her legs were tired, and she finished me off for my second pop with a BJ/HJ (annoyingly, and a bit weirdly, she kept banging one of my bollocks with her wrist as she was wanking me off. Even after shifting position a bit it was still slightly uncomfortable).
A shower and chat while dressing and I was out of the door 55 minutes after entering.
Michelle is a fantastically good looking girl, but I didn’t find her very sexy at all. There was little in the way of connection, sexually or on a personal level. I’m not looking to marry the WG or become lifelong mates, but a bit of banter and “spark” usually means that I enjoy the punt much more. This was a bit impersonal and mechanical with only light pecks for kisses and although she was accommodating there no real intensity in anything she did. This has reminded me why I switched to independents rather than parlours over a year ago.
I feel a bit mean rating a punt in which the girl was friendly enough and I managed to cum twice as a neutral, but I think I’ve learned that DFK and OWO are really important to me in a punt, as well as being able to “get on” with the WG. Her other reviews are positive, so maybe she was just tired when I saw her. YMMV.
Scores On The Doors* Face: 9.5/10 (very classically beautiful)
* Body: 6.5/10 (if you like them very slim this would go up to 8)
* Attitude: 6/10
* Accuracy To Profile: N/A
* Overall: 6.5/10
* Would See Again: NoEdit: Review now added to Wiki.
