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Author Topic: Elise @HOD  (Read 1121 times)

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Offline Mendra

Hopped off for my first HOD experience today based  n "notpastit's" review https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=93790.msg1133590#msg1133590

If Jael / Sasha of Maxes review I did last week was negative then this surely has to be a double negative.


Called in the morning decided a Hungry girl from Hungary needed to feast on my steak. Elise was the chosen one.

http://www.houseofdivine.com/miltonkeynesescortandlondonescort.php?girlid=2960

She looks nothing like these pictures. As a matter of fact I can't imagine she was ever pretty - the ship this job does to these girl! Lord have mercy! There was nothing hot about her.

Comms with maid was good very straight forward. Reminds me of the old school knock houses.  I initially book 30mins then called back to change it to 45mins which I did regret.

I haven't been to one of these places in 10 years as I would like to say I pick my birds from the top shelf most of the time. Just need a higher shelf every now and then. This shelf was on the floor. :))

From all the reviews I have read her I really thought this place had better goods. I'm sure they may have just Elise is not one of them. She most be in mid of late 30's and 5'7 or so tall.

I arrived on time, Elise entered the room about 5 mins later. On first sight not pretty. I might as well be on the kerb at Kings cross. Lingerie surely primary. I should have walked but she was welcoming with a smile. I could tell she had gone past her sell by date.

She started with a DFK but not a good one either. I really hate it when girls start off with hmmm haaaa baby etc. Tells you it's all fake right away. Anyway she takes off her knickers immediately another bad sign.  She a BJ like she wanted to yank it off my body, a bit too sloppy with spit.

Inspected her pussy, looked like it needed ironing, hence rejected it. Moved up to her tits, ok looking nipples but nothing to write home about. Standard stuff, 36 D maybe but won't stay up.

Fucked her in mosh for a few minutes but her face and tummy was a turn off. Quickly turned her over looked the clock I had 30 mins to go. Damn, I could stay here that long. It's not even fun. So banged her in doggy for about another 10mins. Lots of fingers in the ass. She told me I have to pay for it if I wanted to fuck it - I simply ignored her then give her a good jackhammer thrust - though she had the guts to be saying all that whilst being fucked? She surely felt it and yelled. Good job done. I pulled both her arms to her back stretching the tits sideways so she was kneeling with her neck up. Fucked her hard... Popped, she shiver and said thank god that's over. I cleaned used the shower - came back look at the clock I had been the for exactly 30 mins.

The only positive thing about this punt is that she offered to give me money back cos I didn't spent all my time. Respect for that. She said most girls were busy and she is not one of the busiest. if only WG's realise one day they will pass it - looking at older reviews now seems She has been around for a while. (I should have taken hint from "notpastis's profile name)

Will I recommend no. But if you like middle aged looking rough good for you.

Positives/
Venue not so bad.

Neutral
Polite girl, knows she not a popular

Negatives
Hard mild damp body smell, not a pretty face, body needs the gym.

Will I return? not to the girl and probably not to the place in a long time anyway.

VFM? Maybe but I would have rather but my money on the horses at bookies down the road.

For not I am going to continue investing my time and money elsewhere I know my horse will also ride me home to win!

Mendra old boy, you are having a bad time of it, the next is bound to be a cracker, third time lucky and all that....


Offline Mendra

Yaboahleftfoot. You know how it is you win some you lose some. As they say the devil on know is better than the one you don't. Just need to stick to my keepers. ;)

Since it only cost me £60 could have been worse if it cost £250.

Very true, I'm seeing a reasonably priced duo tomorrow £220/hour, they look ok and have confirmed services but I'm already dreading it being a disaster!

Offline Mendra

Face your battles as they approach you. May you conquer to tell us a good story on return.

Thinking of hitting on Milly or Tigfany of Maxes before mid-term.

Mature Posh Tooty has gone into hiding - she did says she is taking up a job on the high street.

Bumped into an old time fab WG as I exited the gents and she the ladies at Heathrow last week. We said hello and a warm hug like old time friends - unlucky we were not on the same flight.

Offline Dicky

I saw Elise back in 2010 and she looked like the sell-by date had passed, then! Can only imagine how she looks now.  In the positive, she was really sweet. But thats about it. She used to be popular last decade. HoD had around 2011 put up a video of her trying to look sexy but I guess that put off more people than pulled, so they took it off. 

I remember a disgusting comment on Prossienet review saying that someone put a finger in her ass and tasted Hungarian goulash...lol.  Those days..!

Offline vt

I remember a disgusting comment on Prossienet review saying that someone put a finger in her ass and tasted Hungarian goulash...lol.  Those days..!

I apologise for my overactive imagination & dodgy sense of humour!!  :D

BTW I didn't taste my finger, I sniffed it later!!  :vomit:

Elise is a nice lady who knows her stuff, must be 5 years since I saw her too. As long as you go there expecting a woman in her mid/late-30s and not a young gym-bunny, you should be OK.

Can't see why the OP is comparing a £60 punt with Elise to £250ph Maxes girls...unless he's their pimp!  :unknown:

Offline Mendra

Not a pimp. I repeat not a pimp. First time at HOD maybe the last too.

I am sure I heard they have some Young ones but now that you habe stats not. The message is clear. Lesson learnt.

Offline will-ow

ahhh cheers for the heads up!! i was going to book her soon too :-/ nahh, there are plenty of other girls there  :thumbsup: i'm trying luna again soon (review to come)

Offline Notpastit

Sorry to hear she didn't do it for you

Did it for me, hence my positive review, I thought she was hot and take a look at her twitter pics for accuracy, @elisemassage, altho as an older punter probably my tastes differ to others, I like "built" women, esp tits/arse,  as opposed to under size 10!

A woman aged 30- 40 is still young for me by comparison, in fact my lowest age limit these days is 25-28, anyone younger I would feel too pervy with!

There are plenty of others at HOD of varying shapes and sizes/ages etc, of the current crop Chloe always ticks the boxes too, seen her 3 times over last 18 months or so, well worth investigation IMHO

There are others at MK branch I would like to try out (Lucy looks the business) but too lazy to travel that far these days when plenty of options in London, hopefully she gets down here someday?

Good luck with your next encounter!

Offline yumyum3

Quote
She told me I have to pay for it if I wanted to fuck it - I simply ignored her then give her a good jackhammer thrust - though she had the guts to be saying all that whilst being fucked? She surely felt it and yelled. Good job done. I pulled both her arms to her back stretching the tits sideways so she was kneeling with her neck up. Fucked her hard
You sound like a nice guy and she even offered you some money back. Shame you're not going back as I expect you'll be missed.

Online hendrix

You sound like a nice guy and she even offered you some money back. Shame you're not going back as I expect you'll be missed.


+1

Offline Dicky

I apologise for my overactive imagination & dodgy sense of humour!!  :D

BTW I didn't taste my finger, I sniffed it later!!  :vomit:

Elise is a nice lady who knows her stuff, must be 5 years since I saw her too. As long as you go there expecting a woman in her mid/late-30s and not a young gym-bunny, you should be OK.

Can't see why the OP is comparing a £60 punt with Elise to £250ph Maxes girls...unless he's their pimp!  :unknown:

Lol...small world! To your credit, that comment has stayed in my memory for 5 years, so itwas impactful :-)

I agree there is no comparison and Elise knows her stuff. Her pictures on HoD now are however definitely not what she looked like even then

Offline Notpastit

OK, take a look at her recent pics on her twatter feed,  @elisemassage

That's the girl I saw/reviewed for all you doubting thomas's, I would (nearly) put her in the same league with another of my favs, Horny Slutty Girl for arse/tits/porno sluttiness etc

You need to go see for yourself of course!

Offline Mendra

Notpastit - you may need to cost specsavers!

She is nothing near pretty - no offence :)

Offline Notpastit

OK, each to his own, didn't mention the word pretty myself, she's more horny and slutty in my book, just my type!

Felt I got my £worth with her, better than others I've tried at HOD 2-3 yrs ago who are no longer on the rota

Actually get my glasses from another famous high street store (for reading only)

I can see what I'm letting myself in for on punting expeditions OK without them on thanks

Happy punting

 




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