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Author Topic: something that no punter should ever have to smell.  (Read 9188 times)

Offline King Nuts

Inspired by dajay's review in the negative reviews section (London) and his pretty appalling experience, as someone with a strong sense of smell (which is both a blessing and a curse, of course) I got to thinking there are a number of dreadul smells that occasionally assault the intrepid punter.

Shit would be the top of the list. Dried-on urine another. And Harpic. If ever a fragrance, and I use the term loosely, dampened one's ardour, it's Harpic.

And there's that other weird smell that you get in certain WG's bedrooms. As you enter, a hybrid of unidentifiable alien perfume, soap, compacted fag smoke, and damp carpet - not always as unpleasant as it sounds - is the perfect accompaniment to the tawdry and hopefully trashily thrilling experience that awaits.

MethodMan

  • Guest
WGs who clearly state on their profiles, such things as, "hygiene is very important, please be fresh out of the shower", etc, should be ashamed of themselves when they don't return the favour!

One of the worst things in a punt is a smelly wg, sort it out ladies!!!

ncarter

  • Guest
Strong smell of perfume (may not be perfume, but any scented fragrance particularly a feminine smell), this for 2 reasons :

1. It could be used to hide some other smell
2. If recently sprayed it could get onto your clothes, no problem for singletons like me, but for those with a missus, it could be a lot of explaining.

 

Offline MisterP

Another man's scent.
Their sweat, lynx java, semen...  That's vomit time for me.

Actually my first 69 with a wg was with an woman from China.  Fair enough it was a short notice punt but the waft of poo was only noticeable after I'd licked some.

Offline Ali Katt

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WGs who clearly state on their profiles, such things as, "hygiene is very important, please be fresh out of the shower", etc, should be ashamed of themselves when they don't return the favour!

One of the worst things in a punt is a smelly wg, sort it out ladies!!!
Agreed. I've been fortunate in that the only bad odour I have smelt has been bad breath on a woman, I've not smelt another man's smell, spunk or shit - in parlours they usually spray febreeze between clients, presumably to hide the scent of spunk and sweat.

Offline blackburnian

Fishy Fanny must rate fairly high , fortunately only experienced it a couple of time in 15+ yrs  and by the time i did walking wasnt exactly an option ! ;)
Blackburnian

Offline Inked

Another man's scent.
Their sweat, lynx java, semen...  That's vomit time for me.

Actually my first 69 with a wg was with an woman from China.  Fair enough it was a short notice punt but the waft of poo was only noticeable after I'd licked some.

Were you able to tell what she had eaten

Offline Bobbylondon



And there's that other weird smell that you get in certain WG's bedrooms. As you enter, a hybrid of unidentifiable alien perfume, soap, compacted fag smoke, and damp carpet - not always as unpleasant as it sounds - is the perfect accompaniment to the tawdry and hopefully trashily thrilling experience that awaits.

^^^ this ^^^

I miss that smell it takes me back to the heady days of my first punts.  £30 a time, usually a very low standard, behind a church in edmonton north London  :cool:

the smell of 'brass ass' be it shit, or sweat is horrible, touch wood i've never had a fishy fanny.  sometimes if you go in the morning and the women are clearly living in the rooms you get that stale smell which can be offputting.

I've experienced B.O  MANY times in the cheaper,  it only comes to light once you are halfway through the deed and you change position, or go in for a boob suck  :angry:

nothing pisses me off more is when i've made the effort to get showered, aftershave, etc and she she stinks... then after we have done the deed- THEN SHE GETS IN THE SHOWER :dash: :scare: :dash:



Offline MisterP

Were you able to tell what she had eaten

Pasta bake I think.  Not Dolmio though.  I believe it was that Lloyd Grossman stuff..

I have actually smelt poo from a gf once after smelling my fingers.  So during the punt I suppose i was a bit naive.  When are we gonna get those cool Japanese toilets?

Tony Montana

  • Guest
I was having a post-punt chat with kinkydirtybitch about the services she provides and that I was surprised to see hardsports on there.  She said she was OK with it apart from the smell.  :wackogirl:

Isn't the smell about 95% of the whole hardsports experience?  It certainly isn't something that appeals to me, it makes me want to  :vomit: just thinking of it.

WOP

  • Guest
Hard sports.... Anyone caught doing that should be sentenced to burn.

Offline smiths

Inspired by dajay's review in the negative reviews section (London) and his pretty appalling experience, as someone with a strong sense of smell (which is both a blessing and a curse, of course) I got to thinking there are a number of dreadul smells that occasionally assault the intrepid punter.

Shit would be the top of the list. Dried-on urine another. And Harpic. If ever a fragrance, and I use the term loosely, dampened one's ardour, it's Harpic.

And there's that other weird smell that you get in certain WG's bedrooms. As you enter, a hybrid of unidentifiable alien perfume, soap, compacted fag smoke, and damp carpet - not always as unpleasant as it sounds - is the perfect accompaniment to the tawdry and hopefully trashily thrilling experience that awaits.

BV at least i reckon it was BV is the worst stench i have smelt in recent years, only once thankfully a few years back. I nearly chucked up on my way out, a smell i never want to smell again, ever. :scare: ;)

Capt Jack Sparrow

  • Guest
I found most EE's to be fresh as they go and bung a shower head up between there legs anyway.
Most English girls I have had are not so sweet. Essence of condom once when I went down on her and she parted her legs.
One lady I saw in Richmond I made it clear the day before that I would be down on her and to be super clean and she will reap rewards from me and still she was a bit musky and I was the first of the day.

Offline Cactus

I had a shit punt a couple of weeks back, just wanted to get out of there as soon as I was done.  Decided to go for a bite to eat and I'm a bit partial to a KFC, whilst chowing down on a piece of chicken I noticed the scent of her wet pussy on my fingers, bad memories came flooding back.

Have never had the smell of shit, but did have one fart whilst I was giving her oral.

Had a really really smelly pussy on one occassion, I picked her up and as soon as she got in the car I could smell it, couldn't quite put my finger on the smell, tried to get her to shower with me, no luck.  Finally worked out what the smell was when I went down on here and nearly puked.  Got out of there pronto!  :scare:

BO, fags and grass are all fairly common and I can't stand any of them.

Whore Of Babylon

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I've only had 5 punts but 2 of them had some kind of revolting cunt infection. I must have a way of picking them.
First was extremely pishy - a real heady brew of piss and fish. Smelt it through her knickers, I pulled them to one side and took a whiff of her fanny in case she just decided to wear some dirty pants. Sadly no.

Second was a real looker and I was excited, stripped her clothes off quickly and headed southward only to be greeted with a warm waft of cheesy poo mixed with stale sweat. Don't think she bothered to wash after her last client and going by the smell he bare backed her shitty arse.
Beautiful.

Whore Of Babylon

  • Guest
Pasta bake I think.  Not Dolmio though.  I believe it was that Lloyd Grossman stuff..

I have actually smelt poo from a gf once after smelling my fingers.  So during the punt I suppose i was a bit naive.  When are we gonna get those cool Japanese toilets?
I'd you finger her bum during the session? Just ask because I think you always enter at your own risk. You know what lives up there.

Offline adindas

Another turn off for me who like to go down is if the WGS in her period.
Woow  terrible smells you do not even want to go near ....

yumyum3

  • Guest
Quote
I've only had 5 punts but 2 of them had some kind of revolting cunt infection. I must have a way of picking them.
First was extremely pishy - a real heady brew of piss and fish. Smelt it through her knickers, I pulled them to one side and took a whiff of her fanny in case she just decided to wear some dirty pants. Sadly no.

Second was a real looker and I was excited, stripped her clothes off quickly and headed southward only to be greeted with a warm waft of cheesy poo mixed with stale sweat. Don't think she bothered to wash after her last client and going by the smell he bare backed her shitty arse.
Beautiful.
:vomit: Bloody hell, mate! You've been unlucky. I'm sure I have had a smelly pros experience in the distant past but really can't remember. Certainly not happened to me in the last ten years. The only one I can vividly remember was a woman I picked up years ago (not paid) - it was pouring with rain and we went behind this changing room in a local park. I was young and very randy and so was she. We were snogging alot and I remember going down on my knees to pull her skirt up and then began to ease her knickers down  :vomit: And this was outside! The smell actually made me gag and I just left - gagging and feeling nauseous for quite a while after  :vomit:

Whore Of Babylon

  • Guest
:vomit: Bloody hell, mate! You've been unlucky. I'm sure I have had a smelly pros experience in the distant past but really can't remember. Certainly not happened to me in the last ten years. The only one I can vividly remember was a woman I picked up years ago (not paid) - it was pouring with rain and we went behind this changing room in a local park. I was young and very randy and so was she. We were snogging alot and I remember going down on my knees to pull her skirt up and then began to ease her knickers down  :vomit: And this was outside! The smell actually made me gag and I just left - gagging and feeling nauseous for quite a while after  :vomit:
Thanks for the sympathy. Think I'm really unluckily as I certainly didn't go cheap and the girls have great genuine feedback.
Was is it with fanny batter? I always give my bits a quick sniff test before getting it on.

Sailormack

  • Guest
Quick quessy for the Thailand vets.

In all your visits to LOS did you ever encounter a stinky minge?

In all my visits every single girl was meticulous when it came to hygiene and most to the point of obsession.  :rose:

Louise 100% British

  • Guest
I've only had 5 punts but 2 of them had some kind of revolting cunt infection. I must have a way of picking them.
First was extremely pishy - a real heady brew of piss and fish. Smelt it through her knickers, I pulled them to one side and took a whiff of her fanny in case she just decided to wear some dirty pants. Sadly no.

Second was a real looker and I was excited, stripped her clothes off quickly and headed southward only to be greeted with a warm waft of cheesy poo mixed with stale sweat. Don't think she bothered to wash after her last client and going by the smell he bare backed her shitty arse.
Beautiful.

Does this sort of stuff really happen? It sounds truely revolting. It's beyond belief!  :vomit:

Offline Bangers and Gash

Luckily all the service technicians I've seen have been pretty clean - physically and mentally. So much so that on a whim I stuck my tonge up the arse of one. To be fair, it tasted OK  :sarcastic:

The President

  • Guest
Does this sort of stuff really happen? It sounds truely revolting. It's beyond belief!  :vomit:

Been to 3 or 4  :vomit: and terminated them all as my fave is DATY  :mad:

Louise 100% British

  • Guest
Been to 3 or 4  :vomit: and terminated them all as my fave is DATY  :mad:

There is such a brilliant invention called a shower....And I bet each girl had stated on her profile hygeine is of paramount importance and such bs.  :rolleyes:

The President

  • Guest
Not as bad as my worst experience - minor aplay (finger thank god, not rimming) OMFG had to run to bathroom before I was sick to bleach my hands

 :vomit: :crazy: :wacko:

Louise 100% British

  • Guest
Not as bad as my worst experience - minor aplay (finger thank god, not rimming) OMFG had to run to bathroom before I was sick to bleach my hands

 :vomit: :crazy: :wacko:

Well I don't think you want to know about my "worst" experience  :vomit:

The President

  • Guest
Ohhhhh yesssss weeew dooooooo

Great pic btw mmmmm x

Offline Inked

Well I don't think you want to know about my "worst" experience  :vomit:


Prey tell, am all ears... or should i say eyes.

Louise 100% British

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It is a punters forum. I do not wish to offend anyone on here. :thumbsdown:

The President

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Louise 100% British

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The President

  • Guest
Now ya tormenting we all want to hear....

MethodMan

  • Guest
I recently watched Jim Jefferies stand up comedy show called "Alcoholocaust" (awesome, hilarious, one of the funniest comedians, available on YouTube). He was talking about Australian brothels, where punters have to go through the "light test", basically you put your willy under a light and magnifying glass to check for any abnormalities, if you pass, you can see a hooker, if you fail, no punt!

It would only be fair if punters can have a "smell test", if she passes, punt on, if she fails, we walk and she must pay us our transport costs for wasting our time!

Louise 100% British

  • Guest
I recently watched Jim Jefferies stand up comedy show called "Alcoholocaust" (awesome, hilarious, one of the funniest comedians, available on YouTube). He was talking about Australian brothels, where punters have to go through the "light test", basically you put your willy under a light and magnifying glass to check for any abnormalities, if you pass, you can see a hooker, if you fail, no punt!

It would only be fair if punters can have a "smell test", if she passes, punt on, if she fails, we walk and she must pay us our transport costs for wasting our time!

There would be a lot of WG'S severely bankrupt, if the occurance above happens so much :)

MethodMan

  • Guest
There would be a lot of WG'S severely bankrupt, if the occurance above happens so much :)

So basically, you are saying a lot of WGs have a hygiene problem and are smelly?  :scare:

Louise 100% British

  • Guest
So basically, you are saying a lot of WGs have a hygiene problem and are smelly?  :scare:
lol, I am not a punter so I wouldn't know. Judging by this thread I would say yes though!

James999

  • Guest
lol, I am not a punter so I wouldn't know. Judging by this thread I would say yes though!

Ok, so between punters do you

A A full wash and rinse out
B A quick wipe with a wet wipe
C Just wipe with a towel / tissue

Louise 100% British

  • Guest
Ok, so between punters do you

A A full wash and rinse out
B A quick wipe with a wet wipe
C Just wipe with a towel / tissue
A full shower. I have a very nice one at my incall flat.Not my hair though. It's not hard lol. I think some girls worry about their fake tan coming off :) not only that but I will also shower with the man and for the man shower time is not included in his time. There is no excuse for poor hygeine.
« Last Edit: December 09, 2012, 01:47:56 pm by Louise 100% British »

James999

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But Isn't washing the "lady garden" 6 or 7 times a day considered unheathy  :cool:

Louise 100% British

  • Guest
But Isn't washing the "lady garden" 6 or 7 times a day considered unheathy  :cool:
if you are constantly douching with unfriendly soaps. Sanex zero is fine.

James999

  • Guest
That's good to hear, don't want you getting an itchy cunt, think what that would do for your income  :scare:

Louise 100% British

  • Guest
That's good to hear, don't want you getting an itchy cunt, think what that would do for your income  :scare:
Yes it would be pretty tragic :(

yumyum3

  • Guest
I've obviously been lucky. I had loads of casual sex in my twenties and the only smell I got was the horny individual scent ... yum yum. That is the only thing with paid sex. I understand it needs to be clean and sanitized but of course there's no real smell at all - although obviously many members out there have been inundated with fish and poo. Yuk :vomit:

Whore Of Babylon

  • Guest
Ok, so between punters do you

A A full wash and rinse out
B A quick wipe with a wet wipe
C Just wipe with a towel / tissue
I get into the shower and have a full wash, with shower gel and make extra sure my undercarriage in clean in and out! Rinse my mouth with mouthwash also.

Whore Of Babylon

  • Guest
You can buy special vaginal friendly washes for the fandango that won't make your cunt itch.

Offline WestCountryLad

Funnily enough I've met 2 different ho's in the same hotel just outside Cardiff who both had offensive smells, although one was worse than the other  :vomit:

The least bad one must have been a chain smoker as I could still taste it hours after meeting her.  I was actually a heavy smoker myself at the time but I had never personally experienced the horribleness of a heavy smoker up until then  :vomit:  Up till then I was a  20 a day man myself & had girlfriends who also smoked but this was something else  :vomit: (I no longer smoke BTW  :), if you want to know an easy but unconventional way to stop smoking PM me  :))  The whole drive home I was dry retching with the thought & taste of it  :vomit: & I only kissed her the once.

The other one that was worse was with a stunning young lady who I was having a grand time with until I whipped her panties off & stuck my face between her legs  :scare:  Fuck me, the smell was revolting, gag reflex was induced & somehow managed to avoid licking her at all.  Honestly the smell was savage!  How I managed to still shag her & cum is worthy of a Gold medal.  I made my excuses & left but I remember someone else's FB of her & how they enjoyed her muskiness  :vomit: :vomit: :vomit:

I know it should be easy to do & I felt a bit of a fool for not saying anything but on on earth do you say to someone "er.... excuse me love but your fanny batter is rancid"  :vomit:


Joe Blob

  • Guest
Funnily enough I've met 2 different ho's in the same hotel just outside Cardiff who both had offensive smells, although one was worse than the other  :vomit:



Are you sure you weren't just smelling Cardiff  :scare:

yumyum3

  • Guest
Quote
How I managed to still shag her & cum is worthy of a Gold medal.
I'll second that. You must have had some hard on  :drinks:
When it happened to me (see my earlier post) I ran a fucking mile :scare: :scare: :scare:

Bluemark

  • Guest
I've had a few girls recently whose hygiene wasn't perfect, even at popular places like Sandys in Manchester.

MethodMan

  • Guest
I've had a few girls recently whose hygiene wasn't perfect, even at popular places like Sandys in Manchester.

 :thumbsdown: :thumbsdown: :thumbsdown: