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Author Topic: something that no punter should ever have to smell.  (Read 5538 times)

Offline Louise 100% British

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Not as bad as my worst experience - minor aplay (finger thank god, not rimming) OMFG had to run to bathroom before I was sick to bleach my hands

 :vomit: :crazy: :wacko:

Well I don't think you want to know about my "worst" experience  :vomit:

Ohhhhh yesssss weeew dooooooo

Great pic btw mmmmm x

Offline Inked

Well I don't think you want to know about my "worst" experience  :vomit:


Prey tell, am all ears... or should i say eyes.

Offline Louise 100% British

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It is a punters forum. I do not wish to offend anyone on here. :thumbsdown:


Offline Louise 100% British

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Now ya tormenting we all want to hear....

Offline MethodMan

I recently watched Jim Jefferies stand up comedy show called "Alcoholocaust" (awesome, hilarious, one of the funniest comedians, available on YouTube). He was talking about Australian brothels, where punters have to go through the "light test", basically you put your willy under a light and magnifying glass to check for any abnormalities, if you pass, you can see a hooker, if you fail, no punt!

It would only be fair if punters can have a "smell test", if she passes, punt on, if she fails, we walk and she must pay us our transport costs for wasting our time!
Banning reason: Fluffy white-knight caught out harassing, stalking and outing another member for daring to criticize his favourite whore whom he is obsessed with

Offline Louise 100% British

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I recently watched Jim Jefferies stand up comedy show called "Alcoholocaust" (awesome, hilarious, one of the funniest comedians, available on YouTube). He was talking about Australian brothels, where punters have to go through the "light test", basically you put your willy under a light and magnifying glass to check for any abnormalities, if you pass, you can see a hooker, if you fail, no punt!

It would only be fair if punters can have a "smell test", if she passes, punt on, if she fails, we walk and she must pay us our transport costs for wasting our time!

There would be a lot of WG'S severely bankrupt, if the occurance above happens so much :)

Offline MethodMan

There would be a lot of WG'S severely bankrupt, if the occurance above happens so much :)

So basically, you are saying a lot of WGs have a hygiene problem and are smelly?  :scare:
Banning reason: Fluffy white-knight caught out harassing, stalking and outing another member for daring to criticize his favourite whore whom he is obsessed with

Offline Louise 100% British

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So basically, you are saying a lot of WGs have a hygiene problem and are smelly?  :scare:
lol, I am not a punter so I wouldn't know. Judging by this thread I would say yes though!

Offline James999

lol, I am not a punter so I wouldn't know. Judging by this thread I would say yes though!

Ok, so between punters do you

A A full wash and rinse out
B A quick wipe with a wet wipe
C Just wipe with a towel / tissue

Offline Louise 100% British

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Ok, so between punters do you

A A full wash and rinse out
B A quick wipe with a wet wipe
C Just wipe with a towel / tissue
A full shower. I have a very nice one at my incall flat.Not my hair though. It's not hard lol. I think some girls worry about their fake tan coming off :) not only that but I will also shower with the man and for the man shower time is not included in his time. There is no excuse for poor hygeine.
« Last Edit: December 09, 2012, 01:47:56 PM by Louise »

Offline James999

But Isn't washing the "lady garden" 6 or 7 times a day considered unheathy  :cool:

Offline Louise 100% British

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But Isn't washing the "lady garden" 6 or 7 times a day considered unheathy  :cool:
if you are constantly douching with unfriendly soaps. Sanex zero is fine.

Offline James999

That's good to hear, don't want you getting an itchy cunt, think what that would do for your income  :scare:

Offline Louise 100% British

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That's good to hear, don't want you getting an itchy cunt, think what that would do for your income  :scare:
Yes it would be pretty tragic :(

Offline yumyum3

I've obviously been lucky. I had loads of casual sex in my twenties and the only smell I got was the horny individual scent ... yum yum. That is the only thing with paid sex. I understand it needs to be clean and sanitized but of course there's no real smell at all - although obviously many members out there have been inundated with fish and poo. Yuk :vomit:

Offline Whore Of Babylon

Ok, so between punters do you

A A full wash and rinse out
B A quick wipe with a wet wipe
C Just wipe with a towel / tissue
I get into the shower and have a full wash, with shower gel and make extra sure my undercarriage in clean in and out! Rinse my mouth with mouthwash also.

Offline Whore Of Babylon

You can buy special vaginal friendly washes for the fandango that won't make your cunt itch.

Funnily enough I've met 2 different ho's in the same hotel just outside Cardiff who both had offensive smells, although one was worse than the other  :vomit:

The least bad one must have been a chain smoker as I could still taste it hours after meeting her.  I was actually a heavy smoker myself at the time but I had never personally experienced the horribleness of a heavy smoker up until then  :vomit:  Up till then I was a  20 a day man myself & had girlfriends who also smoked but this was something else  :vomit: (I no longer smoke BTW  :), if you want to know an easy but unconventional way to stop smoking PM me  :))  The whole drive home I was dry retching with the thought & taste of it  :vomit: & I only kissed her the once.

The other one that was worse was with a stunning young lady who I was having a grand time with until I whipped her panties off & stuck my face between her legs  :scare:  Fuck me, the smell was revolting, gag reflex was induced & somehow managed to avoid licking her at all.  Honestly the smell was savage!  How I managed to still shag her & cum is worthy of a Gold medal.  I made my excuses & left but I remember someone else's FB of her & how they enjoyed her muskiness  :vomit: :vomit: :vomit:

I know it should be easy to do & I felt a bit of a fool for not saying anything but on on earth do you say to someone "er.... excuse me love but your fanny batter is rancid"  :vomit:


Offline Joe Blob

Funnily enough I've met 2 different ho's in the same hotel just outside Cardiff who both had offensive smells, although one was worse than the other  :vomit:



Are you sure you weren't just smelling Cardiff  :scare:

Offline yumyum3

Quote
How I managed to still shag her & cum is worthy of a Gold medal.
I'll second that. You must have had some hard on  :drinks:
When it happened to me (see my earlier post) I ran a fucking mile :scare: :scare: :scare:

Offline Bluemark

I've had a few girls recently whose hygiene wasn't perfect, even at popular places like Sandys in Manchester.

Offline MethodMan

I've had a few girls recently whose hygiene wasn't perfect, even at popular places like Sandys in Manchester.

 :thumbsdown: :thumbsdown: :thumbsdown:
Banning reason: Fluffy white-knight caught out harassing, stalking and outing another member for daring to criticize his favourite whore whom he is obsessed with


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