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Author Topic: something that no punter should ever have to smell.  (Read 5543 times)

Inspired by dajay's review in the negative reviews section (London) and his pretty appalling experience, as someone with a strong sense of smell (which is both a blessing and a curse, of course) I got to thinking there are a number of dreadul smells that occasionally assault the intrepid punter.

Shit would be the top of the list. Dried-on urine another. And Harpic. If ever a fragrance, and I use the term loosely, dampened one's ardour, it's Harpic.

And there's that other weird smell that you get in certain WG's bedrooms. As you enter, a hybrid of unidentifiable alien perfume, soap, compacted fag smoke, and damp carpet - not always as unpleasant as it sounds - is the perfect accompaniment to the tawdry and hopefully trashily thrilling experience that awaits.

Offline MethodMan

WGs who clearly state on their profiles, such things as, "hygiene is very important, please be fresh out of the shower", etc, should be ashamed of themselves when they don't return the favour!

One of the worst things in a punt is a smelly wg, sort it out ladies!!!
Banning reason: Fluffy white-knight caught out harassing, stalking and outing another member for daring to criticize his favourite whore whom he is obsessed with

Offline ncarter

Strong smell of perfume (may not be perfume, but any scented fragrance particularly a feminine smell), this for 2 reasons :

1. It could be used to hide some other smell
2. If recently sprayed it could get onto your clothes, no problem for singletons like me, but for those with a missus, it could be a lot of explaining.

 

Offline MisterP

Another man's scent.
Their sweat, lynx java, semen...  That's vomit time for me.

Actually my first 69 with a wg was with an woman from China.  Fair enough it was a short notice punt but the waft of poo was only noticeable after I'd licked some.

Offline Ali Katt

WGs who clearly state on their profiles, such things as, "hygiene is very important, please be fresh out of the shower", etc, should be ashamed of themselves when they don't return the favour!

One of the worst things in a punt is a smelly wg, sort it out ladies!!!
Agreed. I've been fortunate in that the only bad odour I have smelt has been bad breath on a woman, I've not smelt another man's smell, spunk or shit - in parlours they usually spray febreeze between clients, presumably to hide the scent of spunk and sweat.

Fishy Fanny must rate fairly high , fortunately only experienced it a couple of time in 15+ yrs  and by the time i did walking wasnt exactly an option ! ;)
Blackburnian

Offline Inked

Another man's scent.
Their sweat, lynx java, semen...  That's vomit time for me.

Actually my first 69 with a wg was with an woman from China.  Fair enough it was a short notice punt but the waft of poo was only noticeable after I'd licked some.

Were you able to tell what she had eaten

Offline dajay3k



And there's that other weird smell that you get in certain WG's bedrooms. As you enter, a hybrid of unidentifiable alien perfume, soap, compacted fag smoke, and damp carpet - not always as unpleasant as it sounds - is the perfect accompaniment to the tawdry and hopefully trashily thrilling experience that awaits.

^^^ this ^^^

I miss that smell it takes me back to the heady days of my first punts.  £30 a time, usually a very low standard, behind a church in edmonton north London  :cool:

the smell of 'brass ass' be it shit, or sweat is horrible, touch wood i've never had a fishy fanny.  sometimes if you go in the morning and the women are clearly living in the rooms you get that stale smell which can be offputting.

I've experienced B.O  MANY times in the cheaper,  it only comes to light once you are halfway through the deed and you change position, or go in for a boob suck  :angry:

nothing pisses me off more is when i've made the effort to get showered, aftershave, etc and she she stinks... then after we have done the deed- THEN SHE GETS IN THE SHOWER :dash: :scare: :dash:



Offline MisterP

Were you able to tell what she had eaten

Pasta bake I think.  Not Dolmio though.  I believe it was that Lloyd Grossman stuff..

I have actually smelt poo from a gf once after smelling my fingers.  So during the punt I suppose i was a bit naive.  When are we gonna get those cool Japanese toilets?

Tony Montana

I was having a post-punt chat with kinkydirtybitch about the services she provides and that I was surprised to see hardsports on there.  She said she was OK with it apart from the smell.  :wackogirl:

Isn't the smell about 95% of the whole hardsports experience?  It certainly isn't something that appeals to me, it makes me want to  :vomit: just thinking of it.

Offline WOP

Hard sports.... Anyone caught doing that should be sentenced to burn.

Offline smiths

Inspired by dajay's review in the negative reviews section (London) and his pretty appalling experience, as someone with a strong sense of smell (which is both a blessing and a curse, of course) I got to thinking there are a number of dreadul smells that occasionally assault the intrepid punter.

Shit would be the top of the list. Dried-on urine another. And Harpic. If ever a fragrance, and I use the term loosely, dampened one's ardour, it's Harpic.

And there's that other weird smell that you get in certain WG's bedrooms. As you enter, a hybrid of unidentifiable alien perfume, soap, compacted fag smoke, and damp carpet - not always as unpleasant as it sounds - is the perfect accompaniment to the tawdry and hopefully trashily thrilling experience that awaits.

BV at least i reckon it was BV is the worst stench i have smelt in recent years, only once thankfully a few years back. I nearly chucked up on my way out, a smell i never want to smell again, ever. :scare: ;)

I found most EE's to be fresh as they go and bung a shower head up between there legs anyway.
Most English girls I have had are not so sweet. Essence of condom once when I went down on her and she parted her legs.
One lady I saw in Richmond I made it clear the day before that I would be down on her and to be super clean and she will reap rewards from me and still she was a bit musky and I was the first of the day.

Offline Cactus

I had a shit punt a couple of weeks back, just wanted to get out of there as soon as I was done.  Decided to go for a bite to eat and I'm a bit partial to a KFC, whilst chowing down on a piece of chicken I noticed the scent of her wet pussy on my fingers, bad memories came flooding back.

Have never had the smell of shit, but did have one fart whilst I was giving her oral.

Had a really really smelly pussy on one occassion, I picked her up and as soon as she got in the car I could smell it, couldn't quite put my finger on the smell, tried to get her to shower with me, no luck.  Finally worked out what the smell was when I went down on here and nearly puked.  Got out of there pronto!  :scare:

BO, fags and grass are all fairly common and I can't stand any of them.

Offline Whore Of Babylon

I've only had 5 punts but 2 of them had some kind of revolting cunt infection. I must have a way of picking them.
First was extremely pishy - a real heady brew of piss and fish. Smelt it through her knickers, I pulled them to one side and took a whiff of her fanny in case she just decided to wear some dirty pants. Sadly no.

Second was a real looker and I was excited, stripped her clothes off quickly and headed southward only to be greeted with a warm waft of cheesy poo mixed with stale sweat. Don't think she bothered to wash after her last client and going by the smell he bare backed her shitty arse.
Beautiful.

Offline Whore Of Babylon

Pasta bake I think.  Not Dolmio though.  I believe it was that Lloyd Grossman stuff..

I have actually smelt poo from a gf once after smelling my fingers.  So during the punt I suppose i was a bit naive.  When are we gonna get those cool Japanese toilets?
I'd you finger her bum during the session? Just ask because I think you always enter at your own risk. You know what lives up there.

Offline adindas

Another turn off for me who like to go down is if the WGS in her period.
Woow  terrible smells you do not even want to go near ....

Offline yumyum3

Quote
I've only had 5 punts but 2 of them had some kind of revolting cunt infection. I must have a way of picking them.
First was extremely pishy - a real heady brew of piss and fish. Smelt it through her knickers, I pulled them to one side and took a whiff of her fanny in case she just decided to wear some dirty pants. Sadly no.

Second was a real looker and I was excited, stripped her clothes off quickly and headed southward only to be greeted with a warm waft of cheesy poo mixed with stale sweat. Don't think she bothered to wash after her last client and going by the smell he bare backed her shitty arse.
Beautiful.
:vomit: Bloody hell, mate! You've been unlucky. I'm sure I have had a smelly pros experience in the distant past but really can't remember. Certainly not happened to me in the last ten years. The only one I can vividly remember was a woman I picked up years ago (not paid) - it was pouring with rain and we went behind this changing room in a local park. I was young and very randy and so was she. We were snogging alot and I remember going down on my knees to pull her skirt up and then began to ease her knickers down  :vomit: And this was outside! The smell actually made me gag and I just left - gagging and feeling nauseous for quite a while after  :vomit:

Offline Whore Of Babylon

:vomit: Bloody hell, mate! You've been unlucky. I'm sure I have had a smelly pros experience in the distant past but really can't remember. Certainly not happened to me in the last ten years. The only one I can vividly remember was a woman I picked up years ago (not paid) - it was pouring with rain and we went behind this changing room in a local park. I was young and very randy and so was she. We were snogging alot and I remember going down on my knees to pull her skirt up and then began to ease her knickers down  :vomit: And this was outside! The smell actually made me gag and I just left - gagging and feeling nauseous for quite a while after  :vomit:
Thanks for the sympathy. Think I'm really unluckily as I certainly didn't go cheap and the girls have great genuine feedback.
Was is it with fanny batter? I always give my bits a quick sniff test before getting it on.

Offline Sailormack

Quick quessy for the Thailand vets.

In all your visits to LOS did you ever encounter a stinky minge?

In all my visits every single girl was meticulous when it came to hygiene and most to the point of obsession.  :rose:

Offline Louise 100% British

  • Service Provider
  • Posts: 1,032
I've only had 5 punts but 2 of them had some kind of revolting cunt infection. I must have a way of picking them.
First was extremely pishy - a real heady brew of piss and fish. Smelt it through her knickers, I pulled them to one side and took a whiff of her fanny in case she just decided to wear some dirty pants. Sadly no.

Second was a real looker and I was excited, stripped her clothes off quickly and headed southward only to be greeted with a warm waft of cheesy poo mixed with stale sweat. Don't think she bothered to wash after her last client and going by the smell he bare backed her shitty arse.
Beautiful.

Does this sort of stuff really happen? It sounds truely revolting. It's beyond belief!  :vomit:

Luckily all the service technicians I've seen have been pretty clean - physically and mentally. So much so that on a whim I stuck my tonge up the arse of one. To be fair, it tasted OK  :sarcastic:

Does this sort of stuff really happen? It sounds truely revolting. It's beyond belief!  :vomit:

Been to 3 or 4  :vomit: and terminated them all as my fave is DATY  :mad:

Offline Louise 100% British

  • Service Provider
  • Posts: 1,032
Been to 3 or 4  :vomit: and terminated them all as my fave is DATY  :mad:

There is such a brilliant invention called a shower....And I bet each girl had stated on her profile hygeine is of paramount importance and such bs.  :rolleyes:

Not as bad as my worst experience - minor aplay (finger thank god, not rimming) OMFG had to run to bathroom before I was sick to bleach my hands

 :vomit: :crazy: :wacko:


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