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Author Topic: Stunning Kathy - Birmingham City Centre  (Read 1378 times)


7 review(s) for Pretty Vivien x (1 positive, 2 neutral, 4 negative) [Indexed by Admin]


Hi there.

@ https://www.adultwork.com/ViewProfile.asp?UserID=2432253

Wasn't my first line, had to come back home after my phone ran out (in the Gay Village, of all fucking places) trying to get the flat number for my 1st choice(nightmare, she was gorgeous too), and find another one

Initial comms ok by phone, seemed well spoken and polite (never a bad thing, apparently). Arranged a meetup for later that night

Directed out to Digbeth, very dodgy even for a local. 3 people tried to sell me shit in the space of 15 mins, its like being in the Selfridges beauty department. Waited outside whilst she got ready (apparently 2 hours isn't quite enough to look presentable) and eventually let into the complex by someone else. As an aside, my car broke down where I parked it, in Digbeth.

Once in, waited again in the cold for about 35 mins (its now past 2am) whilst she took a shower. Directed me to the wrong floor, clocked which flat it was after seeing another punter leave. Opened the door, greeted by SOMEONE WHO WAS CLEARLY NOT HER, although she looked viable so i just went with the flow. Introduced herself as Erica (surprised I remember, to be honest). Around 5'7", fairly tired and had a strange cadence I can only describe as Borat-esque. Lace gown, probably around a D cup with implants and a smatter of freckles like you'd find on a redhead. Asked her if she would wash and clean up (stupid? I'm a hygiene snob, sue me) after her previous client. Hilariously, she denied having seen anyone else prior (WHAT IS TO BE GAINED), but she caved after I explained that I literally just watched someone leave. Anyone who has walked past, or seen previous client leaving can marvel at the thought of the soul-crushing sadness they usually have in their eyes. Pretty funny.

Anyway, She came back 10 mins later (paperwork for 1h already done) smelling of old cigarettes and Listerine.

Very vanilla, although she was very pleased by my oral skills (I'm a champ). BJ skills comparable only to someone on life support for a traumatic brain injury, in all honesty. Only fucked in mish, came once and she started spouting bull (even whilst still inside her) about not being able to fuck and to hurry up, because her pussy is "broken" and it hurts because of "fucking". Now, I walk the earth healing the ailing and sick, and her pussy seemed plenty fine to me. This said, she did let me a take a couple pictures, for personal use (as stat doses of hilarity). After we were done, I explained to her how a human vagina works and why she was an idiot, all she could do was giggle. Many would now use the opportunity to wax poetic about how bubbly and giggly she was. After we were done, I opted for a quick shower (very nice mango shower gel and conditioner for the discerning gent). Again, my phone had run out of battery, so I asked very nicely if she would call me a cab or uber so I could get back to my own place. She declined very aggressively, stating "you're crazy, everyone is asleep" (past 3am now). Eventually I got dressed and left without another word. Someone lives in a very isolated cum-bubble, I think you'll agree. I walked into town before I could find a cab near New St. Station. Still need to retrieve my broken mess of a car too.

All truth told, the experience was a waste of money (100/h), and all I have to show for it was having met some idiot who thought her pussy was broken. Seriously though, it may have been worth it for the comic relief alone.

In summary, avoid at all costs (unless you like talking to braindead people, then go right ahead), although the apartment complex is very nice.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2016, 03:24:59 PM by van_white »


7 review(s) found for Pretty Vivien x linked to in above post (1 positive, 2 neutral, 4 negative)

Offline Ming

Strange review.... I think?

You may or may not be aware that this girl (ex naomi blonde) is a documented barebacker?

So one may guess that those she works with might provide this dubious service? I would suggest a trip to the GUM...

Ming  :hi:

I was unaware, thanks for the heads up.. The girl I saw wasn't the girl in the profile anyway, but I make screening myself a regular thing regardless.

Strange review/strange experience, I tell it as I see it! One could say reviews miss the subtle humour of interaction, I try and reinject some
« Last Edit: April 24, 2016, 05:55:42 PM by van_white »

Recently come to my attention the girl i saw was Erica Cute (https://www.adultwork.com/ViewProfile.asp?UserID=3152936)
Review still stands.

Offline leicesterdude

It's all by the by now her pussy  is broken!  :D :lol:
Banning reason: Fluffy white-knight

Best review I've read so far on ukp.. Hilarious and to the point thanks for posting

Offline Demistify

I have often thought that the profile in the OP must be fake. If not, I would see her for (covered!) OWO and give her a facial because she is stunning.

Offline mo_11

Hi there.

@ https://www.adultwork.com/ViewProfile.asp?UserID=2432253

Wasn't my first line, had to come back home after my phone ran out (in the Gay Village, of all fucking places) trying to get the flat number for my 1st choice(nightmare, she was gorgeous too), and find another one

Initial comms ok by phone, seemed well spoken and polite (never a bad thing, apparently). Arranged a meetup for later that night

Directed out to Digbeth, very dodgy even for a local. 3 people tried to sell me shit in the space of 15 mins, its like being in the Selfridges beauty department. Waited outside whilst she got ready (apparently 2 hours isn't quite enough to look presentable) and eventually let into the complex by someone else. As an aside, my car broke down where I parked it, in Digbeth.

Once in, waited again in the cold for about 35 mins (its now past 2am) whilst she took a shower. Directed me to the wrong floor, clocked which flat it was after seeing another punter leave. Opened the door, greeted by SOMEONE WHO WAS CLEARLY NOT HER, although she looked viable so i just went with the flow. Introduced herself as Erica (surprised I remember, to be honest). Around 5'7", fairly tired and had a strange cadence I can only describe as Borat-esque. Lace gown, probably around a D cup with implants and a smatter of freckles like you'd find on a redhead. Asked her if she would wash and clean up (stupid? I'm a hygiene snob, sue me) after her previous client. Hilariously, she denied having seen anyone else prior (WHAT IS TO BE GAINED), but she caved after I explained that I literally just watched someone leave. Anyone who has walked past, or seen previous client leaving can marvel at the thought of the soul-crushing sadness they usually have in their eyes. Pretty funny.

Anyway, She came back 10 mins later (paperwork for 1h already done) smelling of old cigarettes and Listerine.

Very vanilla, although she was very pleased by my oral skills (I'm a champ). BJ skills comparable only to someone on life support for a traumatic brain injury, in all honesty. Only fucked in mish, came once and she started spouting bull (even whilst still inside her) about not being able to fuck and to hurry up, because her pussy is "broken" and it hurts because of "fucking". Now, I walk the earth healing the ailing and sick, and her pussy seemed plenty fine to me. This said, she did let me a take a couple pictures, for personal use (as stat doses of hilarity). After we were done, I explained to her how a human vagina works and why she was an idiot, all she could do was giggle. Many would now use the opportunity to wax poetic about how bubbly and giggly she was. After we were done, I opted for a quick shower (very nice mango shower gel and conditioner for the discerning gent). Again, my phone had run out of battery, so I asked very nicely if she would call me a cab or uber so I could get back to my own place. She declined very aggressively, stating "you're crazy, everyone is asleep" (past 3am now). Eventually I got dressed and left without another word. Someone lives in a very isolated cum-bubble, I think you'll agree. I walked into town before I could find a cab near New St. Station. Still need to retrieve my broken mess of a car too.

All truth told, the experience was a waste of money (100/h), and all I have to show for it was having met some idiot who thought her pussy was broken. Seriously though, it may have been worth it for the comic relief alone.

In summary, avoid at all costs (unless you like talking to braindead people, then go right ahead), although the apartment complex is very nice.

Who was your first choice?


7 review(s) found for Pretty Vivien x linked to in above post (1 positive, 2 neutral, 4 negative)

Offline Diehard

This is why this site is the best of its kind, this review today saved me some cash as was going to book her. Sorry for your bad experience OP.


Excellent review mate!! Thanks  :thumbsup:

Very glad it tickled a couple pickles. Not gonna lie, I did have a giggle writing it.

Use the cash you saved and SPOIL YOURSELF. Tell them it's on me.

Who was your first choice?

Probably was gonna be Michelle Independent, Ruby Ann x, or EmilyBlonde20. Was a pretty shit day. The broken pussy puts a cherry on the cake though.




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