Anissa Mende 20 - Luton/pootown

[Badvicar]

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Chapter 1 :The preamble

The Vicar has been on enforced sabbatical for a few weeks now due to a lemon drizzle cake induced back injury. Gentle massage only has been the order of the day/week/month. Following another chiropractic visit, the old Cilla Black felt good enough to venture to something more holistic again.

First mistake of the day, don’t punt in Luton on  a whim, if ever. Normally I would avoid Luton like the black plague or a pikey doing driveways. I’d probably go as far as to say I’d rather crap in my hands and do a hallelujah clap, than be or punt there. Unfortunately, that’s where I was when the tumescent glow struck.

AW search as usual gave up little hope. Subtracting the poorly reviewed (on here), the nest of barebackers, the fuck ugly munters, OAP’s,  fatties and dodgy Roms, left not a lot.  There was though, a Hungarian with 1 positive (ish) remark on AW, with a nice set of photos and the right likes listed. For me, being French Kiss, OWO, receiving oral. Penetration (covered) listed also but with the dodgy disc, wasn’t going to risk any real friskiness.

Now I know a lot of people write off all EE girls but I had half a dozen good punts with a Hungarian in Swindon and she always did me proud, before she disappeared. Never mind blowing but always put in the effort and good company.

Chapter 2 :Communications

First for me. I just fired a text off asking if she was free at a given hour. Text back 5 mins later saying yes she was available and giving me the postcode. Was only 10 minutes away, so made my way over and parked up. Second mistake of the day. I know Luton is a bit of a carsey but this area was not great.

Chapter 3:Location
Downs Road Luton, more importantly Startpoint. Having avoided pootown for so long, the road and “development” name meant nothing to me. If Luton is the toilet, Startpoint appears to be the stubborn skid mark .In darkness, I would say it would be the Trainspotting toilet. Presumably it’s called Startpoint, as it’s either the beginning of the end, or the start of your Breaking Bad cooking career. Second mistake continued, as I didn’t leave and head for a massage instead.

Chapter 4:The Hungarian

After making it to the flat, lady behind door routine and in. Small flat not dirty, just shabby crack den chic. Dark haired female in silk bath robe ushered to one of three closed doors. Clean and tidy double bedroom and first look at the girl in question in the dim light. Pretty enough but "not the Hungarian I seek". Third mistake. Fuck it I’m here, it’s 70 quid, and she’s confirmed all services. Once the money disappeared and the robe came off, it revealed a podgy size 12-14, with stretch mark tits and belly.

Chapter 5: The dirty deed

Hungarian seems warm and friendly, so go for a pre gooch smooch. No kissing. But you said…. Ok give the bishop a nosh…out comes a condom….OWO suddenly becomes £20 extra. With the mood dampened, I suggest the legendary Cleric’s tongue experience…No licking me Darling, with a look of bemusement. A generous wet wipe later and an average blow, first pop was dispatched. Small talk ensued and I mean small. With no kissing, RO etc there was not much to rouse the little bishop. The icing on the fruit cake was her applying a condom for second bout of OWO, as I was now dirty.

Chapter 6: The first time of having “that feeling”
As soon as the plastic came out for the second round of oral, the little bishop and the Vicar gave up the holy ghost and departed.
The Vicar is no stranger to sermonising, but truth be told, none so harsh as the one issued to myself. Spontaneity can truly be the bastard child of stupidity and the raging horn. Cardinal rules were broken through lack of research and succumbing to the first flushes of summer.
There are diamonds in the EE rough but this one is not.

Chapter 7: On a serious note
If you do find a WG you like and the postcode comes out as LU1 1XW, Down Road and most specifically Startpoint be aware that it is bandit country. Stairwells are Very cramped and the numbering system makes no sense. I’m a big chap, ex American football and rugby etc, but I wouldn’t fancy it after dusk.

[Sweettunes]

That was fucking poetry.... Great review.. Won't be hitting pootown anytime soon.

[Wilson85]

Chapter Six....Amen.

 

[MrXYZ987]

Fabulously entertaining review.


Sorry it was a shit punt though.

[uutarn]

Love your reviews BV, always a pleasure to read and sad you had a bad one .

Ex american football player eh? Thats practically the only sport i watch, my bro used to play for the norwich devils many moons ago .

[Punchdrunk]

Downs Road is a ghetto, you should have sense to see the area and leave straight away.

[Hertsgent]

Good review but bad luck on the experience

I totally echo your view on the location. Visited there at night in my early punting days and have berated the little man ever since on his choice. It is a labyrinth - I remember going up the lift and immediately I was in it thought it wasn't my best decision, as expected trouble on the way out (unfounded). Post punt, used the stairs, which fed me out somewhere unexpected, and then had to fumble around to find an exit. Got back to the car, no post punt smoke, just got in, locked doors, and scarpered 

Of course, I may be terribly middle class and precious - I'm sure it is an "up and coming area" on Rightmove.....

[Badvicar]

Thanks for the kind comments gents.

Hopefully one good thing to come out of it will be members who search Downs road will be forewarned .

[Mr Br1ghts1de]

Sorry to hear, thanks for sharing.

[dawsonuk]

Bless you my son for your honesty. I wouldn't punt in Luton if you paid me.

 

[Moneyshow]

as soon as i saw "Downs Road" i thought "oh fuck no"

Been there twice, the first time i literally did run back to the car without going in, the second my balls were aching so much i had to go.

I was knackered by the time i got to the top of the stairs (no chance id go in any lift) then had a huge sense of paranoia like id been smoking cannabis all day.

Did the deed and couldnt get out fast enough, now when i see a cheap whore on AW and i ask for the postcode, i positively breakout in a cold sweat when i read Downs Road.

Never ever again, that place and its surroundings are an accident waiting to happen

[tarkus]

I see she's now moved to Havering (not a clue where that is  )

[surgery]

Romford is in Havering

[Badvicar]

And Attila the Pimp is accessing from Hungary.

[Badvicar]

Faith returned in Hungarians. Fabulous punt had, review to follow.

[Poking]

Thanks for the info

[Badvicar]

I'm touched that you enjoyed the post but guess it's just to get some access rights,  so jog on leech. Review was two years  ago and profile long gone.