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External Link/Members OnlyChapter 1 :The preambleThe Vicar has been on enforced sabbatical for a few weeks now due to a lemon drizzle cake induced back injury. Gentle massage only has been the order of the day/week/month. Following another chiropractic visit, the old Cilla Black felt good enough to venture to something more holistic again.
First mistake of the day, don’t punt in Luton on a whim, if ever. Normally I would avoid Luton like the black plague or a pikey doing driveways. I’d probably go as far as to say I’d rather crap in my hands and do a hallelujah clap, than be or punt there. Unfortunately, that’s where I was when the tumescent glow struck.
AW search as usual gave up little hope. Subtracting the poorly reviewed (on here), the nest of barebackers, the fuck ugly munters, OAP’s, fatties and dodgy Roms, left not a lot. There was though, a Hungarian with 1 positive (ish) remark on AW, with a nice set of photos and the right likes listed. For me, being French Kiss, OWO, receiving oral. Penetration (covered) listed also but with the dodgy disc, wasn’t going to risk any real friskiness.
Now I know a lot of people write off all EE girls but I had half a dozen good punts with a Hungarian in Swindon and she always did me proud, before she disappeared. Never mind blowing but always put in the effort and good company.
Chapter 2 :CommunicationsFirst for me. I just fired a text off asking if she was free at a given hour. Text back 5 mins later saying yes she was available and giving me the postcode. Was only 10 minutes away, so made my way over and parked up. Second mistake of the day. I know Luton is a bit of a carsey but this area was not great.
Chapter 3:LocationDowns Road Luton, more importantly Startpoint. Having avoided pootown for so long, the road and “development” name meant nothing to me. If Luton is the toilet, Startpoint appears to be the stubborn skid mark .In darkness, I would say it would be the Trainspotting toilet. Presumably it’s called Startpoint, as it’s either the beginning of the end, or the start of your Breaking Bad cooking career. Second mistake continued, as I didn’t leave and head for a massage instead.
Chapter 4:The HungarianAfter making it to the flat, lady behind door routine and in. Small flat not dirty, just shabby crack den chic. Dark haired female in silk bath robe ushered to one of three closed doors. Clean and tidy double bedroom and first look at the girl in question in the dim light. Pretty enough but "not the Hungarian I seek". Third mistake. Fuck it I’m here, it’s 70 quid, and she’s confirmed all services. Once the money disappeared and the robe came off, it revealed a podgy size 12-14, with stretch mark tits and belly.
Chapter 5: The dirty deedHungarian seems warm and friendly, so go for a pre gooch smooch. No kissing. But you said…. Ok give the bishop a nosh…out comes a condom….OWO suddenly becomes £20 extra. With the mood dampened, I suggest the legendary Cleric’s tongue experience…No licking me Darling, with a look of bemusement. A generous wet wipe later and an average blow, first pop was dispatched. Small talk ensued and I mean small. With no kissing, RO etc there was not much to rouse the little bishop. The icing on the fruit cake was her applying a condom for second bout of OWO, as I was now dirty.
Chapter 6: The first time of having “that feeling”As soon as the plastic came out for the second round of oral, the little bishop and the Vicar gave up the holy ghost and departed.
The Vicar is no stranger to sermonising, but truth be told, none so harsh as the one issued to myself. Spontaneity can truly be the bastard child of stupidity and the raging horn. Cardinal rules were broken through lack of research and succumbing to the first flushes of summer.
There are diamonds in the EE rough but this one is not.
Chapter 7: On a serious noteIf you do find a WG you like and the postcode comes out as LU1 1XW, Down Road and most specifically Startpoint be aware that it is bandit country. Stairwells are Very cramped and the numbering system makes no sense. I’m a big chap, ex American football and rugby etc, but I wouldn’t fancy it after dusk.