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Author Topic: Lack of experience, into kinky stuff and confused at what I want?  (Read 991 times)

Offline echofalls

Hi I'm new here so be gentle.  :thumbsup: I have literally no sexual experiences whatsoever. I'm useless with woman which is why I turned to 'punting'. My first experience happened around 3 years ago and was so fucking bad I never did it again. :( I'm now wanting to have another go as I'm older and feel more comfortable with women.

I have watched a stupid amount of porn and my likes have changed drastically. I used to be normal and into normal things but after a while I just got bored and decided to watch other things. I really got into domination type stuff recently by watching these JOI (Jerk off instructions) type videos. I find it really hot being told what to do by sexy women. After a while of watching these videos I started watching ones with mistress type women or bitchy women. Then I found myself wanting to try out these fetishes which I'm really embarrassed about. I never liked this stuff before and still confused as if I actually like it or forcing myself to like it as it's the only thing I can get off to now. It's stuff like wanted to be dominated, forced to do things like suck a strap on, body worship, being humiliated, forced feminisation, made to do cei.. Yeah this stuff is really messed up but it's the only thing that gets me off now. I've even bought a lot of these clips as I'm so into it. Normal porn just doesn't do it for me any more.

Now the big problem I have is that I have had only one sexual experience. Am I going to be ruining myself by jumping into this messed up stuff instead of having normal sexual experiences first? When I contact ladies on Adultwork I find myself looking for those that offer domination and I seem to not be interested in having normal sexual experiences when I'm horny. But once I'm not horny any more I realise I'm being stupid but it's on my mind all the time and it's at a point where I'm bored of watching it online and really want to try it out in real life.

I hope I don't come across as some sort of freak and hope to be taken seriously. Looking forward to reading your replies.

Kind regards
Banning reason: Troll

Offline Andre 3000

I guess the only way you'll know is actually trying it out.

A few years back I wanted to try having a female dominate me on a punt. In the end it wasn't for me really, but I gave it a go.

Offline Marmalade

I've no idea how many dominatrices are reviewed on here but it's definitely a sophisticated art. My main experience has simply been as an observer at BDSM parties but I was impressed at the skill and stylishness.

Consider whether you want simple domination (being subservient) or in combination with other fetishes (bondage, or varying degrees of masochism). Try to find a profile that looks like she knows what she's doing and type the AW number from the end of the link at the bottom of the profile into the UKP search box and that will bring up any reviews. Dungeons and so on can cost quite a bit more of course.

There may be some specialist websites you can get info.   

Offline echofalls

I'm not really looking for a 100% mistress type woman as these turn me off as they seem so stuck up when I read their profiles. No touching, no stripping etc and most of them have a lot of dislikes. I'm not into bondage, wearing latex things, and stuff like that. I like the idea of being told what to do but the session would have to be really erotic or I would just burst out laughing and not take it seriously. I should have mentioned that the typical bdsm stuff I haven't watched and it doesn't do anything for me. I hate watching other guys being dominated in videos. I only watch solo domination videos where the girl is talking to the camera. Women like tara tainton, princess rene, bratty bunny, mistress T, goddess alexandra etc I'm more into the kinky stuff with being involved with the lady. But at the same time would I get want I want from these normal escorts who offer 'domination'. I don't want it to be forced and want a genuine dominate woman who enjoys what she does. But ones that offer sexual services as well are very hard to find. I've messaged a dozen girls on adultwork and they are all up for what I want but then I would read the reviews and none mention domination sessions. Also looking for one that isn't over 40 is really difficult as most of them seem to be old and not attractive to me. If I'm going to be doing things for them like body worship then they better be really attractive, in shape and clean.

I think I will go through with it as I can't stop thinking about it.
Banning reason: Troll

Offline daviemac

Hi I'm new here so be gentle.  :thumbsup: I have literally no sexual experiences whatsoever. I'm useless with woman which is why I turned to 'punting'. My first experience happened around 3 years ago and was so fucking bad I never did it again. :( I'm now wanting to have another go as I'm older and feel more comfortable with women.

I have watched a stupid amount of porn and my likes have changed drastically. I used to be normal and into normal things but after a while I just got bored and decided to watch other things. I really got into domination type stuff recently by watching these JOI (Jerk off instructions) type videos. I find it really hot being told what to do by sexy women. After a while of watching these videos I started watching ones with mistress type women or bitchy women. Then I found myself wanting to try out these fetishes which I'm really embarrassed about. I never liked this stuff before and still confused as if I actually like it or forcing myself to like it as it's the only thing I can get off to now. It's stuff like wanted to be dominated, forced to do things like suck a strap on, body worship, being humiliated, forced feminisation, made to do cei.. Yeah this stuff is really messed up but it's the only thing that gets me off now. I've even bought a lot of these clips as I'm so into it. Normal porn just doesn't do it for me any more.

Now the big problem I have is that I have had only one sexual experience. Am I going to be ruining myself by jumping into this messed up stuff instead of having normal sexual experiences first? When I contact ladies on Adultwork I find myself looking for those that offer domination and I seem to not be interested in having normal sexual experiences when I'm horny. But once I'm not horny any more I realise I'm being stupid but it's on my mind all the time and it's at a point where I'm bored of watching it online and really want to try it out in real life.

I hope I don't come across as some sort of freak and hope to be taken seriously. Looking forward to reading your replies.

Kind regards

Quite frankly punting isn't for you so stop being a troll.   :timeout:

Offline Marmalade

Quite frankly punting isn't for you so stop being a troll.   :timeout:
This of course is a distinct possibility. However I sometomes give these 'queries' a one off reply as the info might be useful to browsers of the genuine kind.

I've no idea how many dominatrices are reviewed on here but it's definitely a sophisticated art. My main experience has simply been as an observer at BDSM parties but I was impressed at the skill and stylishness.

Consider whether you want simple domination (being subservient) or in combination with other fetishes (bondage, or varying degrees of masochism). Try to find a profile that looks like she knows what she's doing and type the AW number from the end of the link at the bottom of the profile into the UKP search box and that will bring up any reviews. Dungeons and so on can cost quite a bit more of course.

There may be some specialist websites you can get info.

I was wondering how to respond to give you the best guidance but this is good advice.  There are quite a number of threads on this site on the related subject of someone completely new wanting a sympathetic partner to start off with.  I suggest you read them and search for one (dominant or otherwise) in your local area.  Then I'm afraid there's no option but to go for it.  It's called a punt because it's always going to be a gamble.  Go out and enjoy it and let us know how it goes.

Good luck.

Offline echofalls

Quite frankly punting isn't for you so stop being a troll.   :timeout:

Yawn. Yes I signed up to this punting review website and talk about my personal life, asking for advice, just to troll you guys. To be honest this is the reason why I didn't want to register to this website in the first place. People on here seem so hostile.

Now I have to waste time explaining why I'm not a troll. Which actually makes you the troll. So please give it a rest and just stay off this thread, so I can get genuine answers.
Banning reason: Troll

Offline pictisunum

What age (or if you prefer age range) are you, and what factors are responsible for your lack of sexual experience to date?  These are determinants of any advice I may offer.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2016, 09:12:30 PM by pictisunum »

Offline Marmalade

Yawn. Yes I signed up to this punting review website and talk about my personal life, asking for advice, just to troll you guys. To be honest this is the reason why I didn't want to register to this website in the first place. People on here seem so hostile.

Now I have to waste time explaining why I'm not a troll. Which actually makes you the troll. So please give it a rest and just stay off this thread, so I can get genuine answers.

No that is completely incorrect. There is no explaining to do. If you are not a punter (someone who demonstrably has been paying for sex) then you are a visitor and you have had a couple of polite answers. If you push your luck of course people will be 'hostile.'

Offline echofalls

What age (or if you prefer age range) are you, and what factors are responsible for your lack of sexual experience to date?  These are determinants of any advice I may offer.

I'm in the age range of 22-26. Lack of sexual experiences is just from having social anxiety, depression and generally being not attractive I guess. :unknown: I've come out of my shell the past 2 years and have a lot of confidence now. At this point in my life I have a 'don't care' attitude just want to have some good experiences instead of living a dull, depression life. I guess this is why I like humiliation and domination stuff now as I really consider myself a loser and might as well accept it by trying out this stuff.
Banning reason: Troll

Offline echofalls

No that is completely incorrect. There is no explaining to do. If you are not a punter (someone who demonstrably has been paying for sex) then you are a visitor and you have had a couple of polite answers. If you push your luck of course people will be 'hostile.'

I really don't care. I spend way too much time on the internet to know better than to waste time arguing.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2016, 09:22:09 PM by echofalls »
Banning reason: Troll

OP, from what you say I suspect you're one of millions of men who are addicted to internet porn. My suggestion is that the danger for you doesn't lie so much in going out and having extreme sexual experiences (these can all be done perfectly safely) but rather in the porn addiction itself, which may make it hard for you to ever have a normal sexual relationship with a woman, unless you do something about it. And the positive news is that something can indeed be done: you can reset your mind, as it were.

I'm not going to go into any detail or preach to you, but just have a look at these links:

Philip Zimbardo's TED talk on porn addiction (which for many guys has been the main eye opener as to what was happening to them)
Your Brain on Porn (the most comprehensive collection of materials on this issue)

Good luck.

Offline uutarn

Yawn. Yes I signed up to this punting review website and talk about my personal life, asking for advice, just to troll you guys. To be honest this is the reason why I didn't want to register to this website in the first place. People on here seem so hostile.
Consider it an initiation :). Its better than fucking a pig, right?

To your original question, in my experience you have to just go for it and see what happens. I have been dominated several times and tried all sorts of shenanigans (last one being her dog and actually being walked outside my flat). Only now do i really have an idea of what i want exactly from a dom session.
As marmalade said, its an art and you have to get a well reviewed dom to truly know if its your thing.

Put the flag up and see if it flutters dude.

Offline Marmalade

I really don't care. I spend way too much time on the internet to know better than to waste time arguing.
So possibly time to fuck off then.  :hi:

Offline echofalls

OP, from what you say I suspect you're one of millions of men who are addicted to internet porn. My suggestion is that the danger for you doesn't lie so much in going out and having extreme sexual experiences (these can all be done perfectly safely) but rather in the porn addiction itself, which may make it hard for you to ever have a normal sexual relationship with a woman, unless you do something about it. And the positive news is that something can indeed be done: you can reset your mind, as it were.

I'm not going to go into any detail or preach to you, but just have a look at these links:

Philip Zimbardo's TED talk on porn addiction (which for many guys has been the main eye opener as to what was happening to them)
Your Brain on Porn (the most comprehensive collection of materials on this issue)

Good luck.

I know I'm addicted to porn. I know a lot about that stuff you posted and have genuinely tried to quit porn but just can't. My mind is a complete mess and effects me really negatively in real life. The reason why I still watch it is because my life is so boring and depressing.
Banning reason: Troll

Offline Marmalade

I know I'm addicted to porn. I know a lot about that stuff you posted and have genuinely tried to quit porn but just can't. My mind is a complete mess and effects me really negatively in real life. The reason why I still watch it is because my life is so boring and depressing.
Yeah well this is a punting site not a porn site or a help-me-I'm-a-porn-addict site or a Dear Marjorie site. No offence mate.

Offline cueball

Yawn. Yes I signed up to this punting review website and talk about my personal life, asking for advice, just to troll you guys. To be honest this is the reason why I didn't want to register to this website in the first place. People on here seem so hostile.

Now I have to waste time explaining why I'm not a troll. Which actually makes you the troll. So please give it a rest and just stay off this thread, so I can get genuine answers.

If you've viewed this site for a certain length of time before joining you will have realised how many dickheads sign up, talk bollocks, spit their dummies, take the piss and eventually get binned.

Most newbies are treated with suspicion, as you are rightly being treated.

Stick around, contribute and you'll find it's a completely different site than you originally thought.

Post rants like the above, demanding anybody who's suspicious to stay off the thread or whining about somebody testing you makes you look a cunt.

You might not be full of shit, time will tell.

Offline echofalls

Yeah well this is a punting site not a porn site or a help-me-I'm-a-porn-addict site or a Dear Marjorie site. No offence mate.

You seem to have got mad over my comments :lol: You started off nice and then turned into a complete cunt for no reason. I'm just replying to people. It seems I have to come across as a cunt now like you. Let me say this in your language. Kindly fuck off or continue talking like you first did.

I see there's an ignore option on this site, so if you continue this way then I will put you on it like a child.  :lol:

Banning reason: Troll

Offline daviemac

This of course is a distinct possibility. However I sometomes give these 'queries' a one off reply as the info might be useful to browsers of the genuine kind.

I will be the first to apologise if the OP's genuine,but reading his review and this thread makes me wonder.

Quote
I thought he was just a guest or something but only did I realise afterwards that she was with him!  :vomit:      Knowing this woman didn't want to be doing this hurt bad as It's not what I wanted      This was a my first time seeing an escort and 3 years later I haven't seen one since. I was a just a young guy looking for a good pleasant time with someone. 

1 experience with a prossie, that he didn't enjoy, then nothing for 3 years, now wants to jump into domination.

 * I think we all know it's an act they put on and it's all about the money.

I still think punting isn't for him.  :hi:

Won't be long now. bye



« Last Edit: April 15, 2016, 09:37:01 PM by daviemac »

Offline Turtle Z

Hi I'm new here so be gentle.  :thumbsup: I have literally no sexual experiences whatsoever. I'm useless with woman which is why I turned to 'punting'. My first experience happened around 3 years ago and was so fucking bad I never did it again. :( I'm now wanting to have another go as I'm older and feel more comfortable with women.

I have watched a stupid amount of porn and my likes have changed drastically. I used to be normal and into normal things but after a while I just got bored and decided to watch other things. I really got into domination type stuff recently by watching these JOI (Jerk off instructions) type videos. I find it really hot being told what to do by sexy women. After a while of watching these videos I started watching ones with mistress type women or bitchy women. Then I found myself wanting to try out these fetishes which I'm really embarrassed about. I never liked this stuff before and still confused as if I actually like it or forcing myself to like it as it's the only thing I can get off to now. It's stuff like wanted to be dominated, forced to do things like suck a strap on, body worship, being humiliated, forced feminisation, made to do cei.. Yeah this stuff is really messed up but it's the only thing that gets me off now. I've even bought a lot of these clips as I'm so into it. Normal porn just doesn't do it for me any more.

Now the big problem I have is that I have had only one sexual experience. Am I going to be ruining myself by jumping into this messed up stuff instead of having normal sexual experiences first? When I contact ladies on Adultwork I find myself looking for those that offer domination and I seem to not be interested in having normal sexual experiences when I'm horny. But once I'm not horny any more I realise I'm being stupid but it's on my mind all the time and it's at a point where I'm bored of watching it online and really want to try it out in real life.

I hope I don't come across as some sort of freak and hope to be taken seriously. Looking forward to reading your replies.

Kind regards

If as you say, you are sexually inexperienced then I think there's a danger of frustration building to levels where you start to believe that only more extreme forms of sex will satisfy. I also think theres a danger that you try to re-enact the behaviours you see in porn movies. I don't actually think many women like being spat on or having their arse slapped as you do them doggie style, yet many WG's will have experienced just this from punters trying to live their life like a porn movie. Don't get me wrong, if thats what the paying punter wants then thats what he should get but I don't think its the way forward for you. I'd find a mature experienced WG, someone well reviewed. Explain your situation honestly and ask her to show you round a womans body. Get comfortable with the basics and comfortable with what women really like before becoming a disciple of the Marquis de Sade.

Offline Marmalade


I still think punting isn't for him.  :hi:

Won't be long now. bye

Quick & reasonably painless.  :bomb:

Offline pictisunum

I'm in the age range of 22-26. Lack of sexual experiences is just from having social anxiety, depression and generally being not attractive I guess. :unknown: I've come out of my shell the past 2 years and have a lot of confidence now. At this point in my life I have a 'don't care' attitude just want to have some good experiences instead of living a dull, depression life. I guess this is why I like humiliation and domination stuff now as I really consider myself a loser and might as well accept it by trying out this stuff.

Then I'd guide you away from punting as (without wishing to offend you) I doubt you have the personal experience or resilience, or the sexual experience necessary to make punting work for you.  You can probably gather from this site that punting can be a very precarious pursuit and I'd be concerned about you in this context currently.  Punting is not the right environment to explore a developing sexuality.

Marmalade is right and this is not an "agony / advice" site.  However, I'd recommend a break from porn to allow you time to re-evaluate what you want personally and sexually.  If you're interested in bdsm then seek out local groups and events and attend those.  Your sexuality and sexual experimentation needs would be better met within understanding and supportive relationships and contexts.  I speak as an experienced Dominant on the bdsm scene.  Hope this is helpful and good luck.

Offline pictisunum

My guess is significant mental health problems, therefore my advice above  :unknown:

Offline NIK

Had this one on my radar immediately with the first two posts. Admin got there first!


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