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Author Topic: Embarrassing punting moments  (Read 9003 times)

Offline lovingfacials

Ok a few

1. In Premier inn the toliet is right by the door, after first punt I went for a wee, came out room and went through the wrong door,into the main hallway NAKED.............had to knock and ask the w/g to let me in...........her face was a picture, it said so much mainly - You wanker!

2. Used to see a girl who would take a mean facial off me - once I saved and saved it up, when on her knees awaitinng the load it totally missed her - all of it shot past her ear and landed on the plaza tv - we both pissed outselves

3. In the parlour in stoke the one next to H Office cant remember name, post punt I left by back entrance and load of kids started signing 'we know what u been doing'..............shoull of said yeah fucking your mum but couldnt get away quick enough

And finally

WG in Thailand was soooooooooo pissed and coked up I farted and shit the bed, the w.g didnt blink an eye, me I wa so embraased i hadnt shit the bed in 25 years+
« Last Edit: January 13, 2013, 07:06:19 PM by lovingfacials »

Offline zootalors

When meeting a girl called Destiny, I said 'hello, so you're my date with Destiny'.  The dry humour escaped her as she thought I wanted a date and said 'this is a sex meeting not a date'.   :D

When meeting a girl called Dawn I said "I like to get up at the crack of Dawn"

The look on her face was like."Oh thats soooooo fucking funny,I`ve never heard that before"

Offline Ali Katt

Quote
WG in Thailand was soooooooooo pissed and coked up I farted and shit the bed, the w.g didnt blink an eye, me I wa so embraased i hadnt shit the bed in 25 years+
I think that's the most embarrassing so far, not the dirty session you expected.

Offline lovingfacials

And I know when the maid came to change the bed (which again was soooooooooooo embrassing) they were clearly talking about it

even in my stateat the time I still remember cringing and wanting the ground to swallow me up - SO BAD

Offline tda666

I have managed to hold it together to date and have been lucky not to have any cringe worthy moments .... However I have lost count of the amount of fanny farts I have heard, usually after some vigorous cowgirl then moving into doggy !

I am not sure if I am allowed to reply as I am a WG but have been reading your forum for some time and this thread has had me in stitches. I only have two.

1. Was asked by a punter to insert a remote control vibrating egg. To cut a long story short, the string broke when I tried to pull it out and had to go to A and E with the thing still vibrating (you could hear it) and trying hard not to come. The doctors must have had a laugh at my expense.

2. The second one was during a facefucking session. Punter had a big cock and I was deep throating, just as he was cuming, he hit my gag reflux and I vomited my Banana Milkshake and due to his cock being shoved down my throat, could not swallow and he got covered.

Offline Marmalade

'Sex meeting' I like that, very formal.  :D
Most embarrassing moment was abroad. Refused to pay a tart the extra when she changed the rules. Two tower-block bouncers invited me for a wee 'chat' next to their office. Not inside the office. Next to it. ie at the top of a steep 3-storey metal fire-escape stair.  :cool: fuckers!

Offline Marmalade

I vomited my Banana Milkshake and due to his cock being shoved down my throat, could not swallow and he got covered.
Good job it wasn't a chocolate one.

Tony Montana


1. Was asked by a punter to insert a remote control vibrating egg. To cut a long story short, the string broke when I tried to pull it out and had to go to A and E with the thing still vibrating (you could hear it) and trying hard not to come. The doctors must have had a laugh at my expense.


You'll love this story then  :lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kik7K3wMor0


I went into the wrong house once. The girl had asked me to enter through the back door (no pun intended) as she didn't want her neighbours seeing. So I walked into the house and was faced with a chinese family just sitting down to dinner.... :thumbsup:

Tony Montana

I went into the wrong house once. The girl had asked me to enter through the back door (no pun intended) as she didn't want her neighbours seeing. So I walked into the house and was faced with a chinese family just sitting down to dinner.... :thumbsup:

I did similar.  I buzzed the wrong flat and had some confused guy say he wasn't expecting anyone, so I checked my txts and realised.  I buzzed the right flat, went in and then knocked at the door of the bloke as i had got it wrong again.  :wacko:

I also remember on my very first punt I started to undress. I was wearing some new jeans I'd bought recently for the first time and had white boxers on. The colour from the jeans had rubbed off on parts of my white boxers so had blue patches all over them. Serves me right for being a cheap bastard and buying crap jeans.

Ravanelli

Quite recently I was getting over that Xmas virus that was going about and was over the worse when I made an appointment to see a regular WG. Walking up her drive I had a touch of stomach cramp caused by wind so not wanting to embarrass myself by farting in her presence I gave the lightest of pushes to get rid of the wind and sharted. I had to beat a hasty retreat back to the car where thankfully I had a box of wet wipes. I didn't explain why I was a bit late!

Quite recently I was getting over that Xmas virus that was going about and was over the worse when I made an appointment to see a regular WG. Walking up her drive I had a touch of stomach cramp caused by wind so not wanting to embarrass myself by farting in her presence I gave the lightest of pushes to get rid of the wind and sharted. I had to beat a hasty retreat back to the car where thankfully I had a box of wet wipes. I didn't explain why I was a bit late!

That's really minging.  You wiped off shite with wet wipes, were your kecks not caked?

Did the girl rim you :D


Brilliant!  Thanks, lex.

That was classic.

I had a punter who was doing a fantasy call for and he went into the wrong house and terrified my elderly neighbour. I couldn't keep a straight face when she moaned for the next few months about some man who walked in and got his erect cock out before realising.

I was in a parlour in Bournemouth and shagging this girl with great tits which, I thought, would look great covered in jizz. She was definitely up for it so off with the condom and started wanking over her tits. Just as I was depositing my load the door opened. It was a very embarrassed maid with the coffee I had ordered earlier. We had a laugh later as she told me she was going to ask if I wanted cream with it!

Offline Mystique46m

  • Service Provider
  • Posts: 372
I did similar.  I buzzed the wrong flat and had some confused guy say he wasn't expecting anyone, so I checked my txts and realised.  I buzzed the right flat, went in and then knocked at the door of the bloke as i had got it wrong again.  :wacko:

Laughing reading that!

I had a bit of a disaster in an Edinburgh hotel, which had a darned key card system,
the lifts were practically opposite the reception desk too.... Luckily there was no CCTV on
the floors where the rooms were, so when a 'gentleman caller' rang to say he was outside,
I would say ok give it 2 minutes then go over to the lift, it's room xyz, then I would fling 'normal'
clothes over my 'work' ones, dash (a push for a big bird) up the corridor to the lift,
call the lift to my floor, when it arrived, press '0' then as soon as I'd done that, dash back
down the corridor to my room to whip the superfluous kit off and stand ready to answer
the door, trying to look calm and collected!

Also one day when typing an AW booking confirmation back to a chap I'd seen a couple
of times, knowing he likes kissing etc I hastily typed 'looking forward to lots of snogging'
However, the good old etch a sketch aka iPad changed whatever i had typed for 'snogging' to
'sniffing' instead.....sadly I only noticed after I had pressed send, d'oh!

answering the door not seeing anyone, closing the door for it to get knocked again, when I opened it heard a voice saying I'm down here, he was so tiny, I had only looked out at eye level

Embarrassing girlfriend story :
We were 16, & had the house to ourselves one sat night, we were at it every where & using all sorts, fruit  bottles, all was going well until I used a hairspray can, it went in fine coming out caused a problem it left the lid lodged  :dash: anyway I've never been so embarrassed sitting OUTSIDE a&e at 3 am with all them drunks  :D

Its not happened to me yet but i dread a WG turning out to be a collegue or friend especially if you have had a detailed e mail exchange of  a role play scenario request. I cant think of a more embarassing and awkward punt. I wonder if that has happened to anyone?

Its not happened to me yet but i dread a WG turning out to be a collegue or friend especially if you have had a detailed e mail exchange of  a role play scenario request. I cant think of a more embarassing and awkward punt. I wonder if that has happened to anyone?

had one where the booking was from a family member didn't realise till I saw his car pull in the driveway, changed clothes quickly, then tried to feign surprise when I opened the door all the time I could feel my necking burning

had one where the booking was from a family member didn't realise till I saw his car pull in the driveway, changed clothes quickly, then tried to feign surprise when I opened the door all the time I could feel my necking burning
Feigned surprise at what? when he said he was looking for a hooker. I would have thought you just wouldn't have answered the door.

Feigned surprise at what? when he said he was looking for a hooker. I would have thought you just wouldn't have answered the door.

he never said that when at the door, he just went red & asked for my sons card

he texted 10 mins afterwards asking why I gave a "false" address

Offline toon972

when to see this girl I had seen a few times.When arriving you have to get into a lift to the third floor,door is immediately to your right.When I stepped out of the lift I heard a door to my left and then footsteps,crap just keep going.I knocked on door,footsteps are right behind me now.Girl opened door in loose skirt,thankyou god.As I walked  in I said there is someone there.She said that she saw them and not to worry as she would tell them that I was her dad.Well you could have knocked me over with a comdom!I looked at her and she was completely serious.I couldnt get annoyed though because she is a little darling


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