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Author Topic: Euphemistic phrases in reviews  (Read 6256 times)

Offline cueball


With this in mind, and not wanting to to get a mauling for doing it wrong, I am going to be "a woos" and chicken out of writing my review.  :hi:

That is exactly what we DON'T want.

This is a forum of free speech, you write your review as you see fit.

Yes, some may criticise your wording and we're all entitled to our opinions but I would never hold a review back for fear of how I'm wording it.

Write it honestly and you'll not go far wrong.

vw

  • Guest
That is exactly what we DON'T want.

This is a forum of free speech, you write your review as you see fit.

Yes, some may criticise your wording and we're all entitled to our opinions but I would never hold a review back for fear of how I'm wording it.

Write it honestly and you'll not go far wrong.

Read  the excuses before typical leech talk ! 

Blame everything but laziness to do a review no idea why they cannot admit to being a leech.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2016, 09:08:59 am by vw »

Offline cueball

I actually enjoy reading a few euphemisms in reviews and some comedy too.

Whilst a review is about putting across the whole experience, I enjoy reading the non sterile reviews that have some comedy included. I enjoy seeing the punters personality come through in the review.

I'm probably a bad offender with the euphemisms.... sexual intercourse has been podging since I were old enough to buy a pint, like I've said, I post how I speak, podging, brass etc etc.

This paid podging lark is about fun and giving me a giggle. It will never be serious to me, if I want serious I'll buy a train set.

Oh, not serious doesn't mean careless.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2016, 09:29:10 am by cueball »

Offline Blackpool Rock

Read  the excuses before typical leech talk ! 

Blame everything but laziness to do a review no idea why they cannot admit to being a leech.
Which is exactly why he now needs to do the review regardless and then continue to review.

I'm sure it's the same in many regions but some established members who review often vent their frustration in open posts and to PM's to other members about lurkers taking and not giving back.
It's one thing when members PM other trusted members to give them the heads up about a new gem a couple of weeks before posting a review however some people are no longer reviewing openly as they are so pissed off about people leeching and not contributing therefore all newbies need to be encouraged to review without fear of being criticised.
 

Offline Blackpool Rock

I actually enjoy reading a few euphemisms in reviews and some comedy too.

Whilst a review is about putting across the whole experience, I enjoy reading the non sterile reviews that have some comedy included. I enjoy seeing the punters personality come through in the review.

I'm probably a bad offender with the euphemisms.... sexual intercourse has been podging since I were old enough to buy a pint, like I've said, I post how I speak, podging, brass etc etc.

This paid podging lark is about fun and giving me a giggle. It will never be serious to me, if I want serious I'll buy a train set.

Oh, not serious doesn't mean careless.
You mean a chuff chuff? Nudge Nudge; ehh; easy tiger!  :thumbsup:

vw

  • Guest
Which is exactly why he now needs to do the review regardless and then continue to review.

I'm sure it's the same in many regions but some established members who review often vent their frustration in open posts and to PM's to other members about lurkers taking and not giving back.

Yes and they use every excuse under the sun not to contribute, just like the guy in the pub that does the lurker dance tapping every pocket to indicate he wont stand his round !

Offline Marmalade

I would, however, point out that, from memory, not many reviews meet your criteria whether the contributor is a new contributor or an old contributor.
My reviews included! But we have to try to have standards to aim it, and whether you think so or not. Someone reminded me recently, quite rightly, that I had included the venue (brothel name) in a review but forgotten to add the city. That is helpful. Do you think i give a fuck and want you to rate my review out of 10? It's not an ego thing ffs. It's about providing useful information.

They're not "my" criteria, although I've contributed to guidelines a few times.  They're a logical basis. AW leads the punter (if doing a field report) through a different logical basis, one which will reinforce the website and prossie's profile. They're not interested in whether the profile was judged to be accurate, whether she had flabby tits or whatever, they just want embellishments. It's how they make their money.

AW wants you to make bookings. They don't care as long as you make a booking.

I'd say UKP cares about your interests as a punter, whether you make a booking or not. That means (unless you are undiscerning) distinguishing good prossies from bad, highlighting factual details so a punter can match a prossie to his tastes, avoid getting ripped off and, in many cases, improve his experience (of course, many punters will fuck anything).

Quite often there's post reports asking Admin to move a review to the right section or add the link that's been omitted. Why not try to put the relevant info there in the first place?

I hardly use the reviews for recommendations. If I have to go to the profile to see if she fits what I want I might as well start there anyway. People will write several paragraphs anout the different positions they had but not mention she was a fat old minger. After age, build and services, the thing a lot of people then want to know is nationality as a lot of punters prefer to skip the Romanians or EEs. There's no reviews that include everything but some are more helpful than others. So I just do my hotlists, then, before I book, spend five minutes feeding the AW ref numbers into UKP. I'm looking for anything I may have overlooked or anything to be aware of. I mostly look out for the negative reviews as they have information whereas positives are usually just numerical, encouraging tick marks (the exception being when a punter has a spread of credible pos and neg reports). Anything serious, I look at the attitude of the punter, if his reviews give any meaning to pos and neg or whether he just writes in adultwankspeak.

Quote
As you say, not to me, I will try not to be "a woos" and contribute to the East and West Midlands review sections.

Well good. Enjoy your punts and we'll look forward to your reviews. I'm done trying to explain the rationale.

Yeboahsleftfoot

  • Guest
Got to say the bit that made me laugh in the review was "a combination of tongue and finger action in both holes resulted in a very pleasant "thank you"" ---- that's half way to "she orally fitted the sheath to my broadsword before lowering her portcullis onto my throbbing, fully loaded cannon"

Henry 1X

  • Guest
That is exactly what we DON'T want.

This is a forum of free speech, you write your review as you see fit.

Yes, some may criticise your wording and we're all entitled to our opinions but I would never hold a review back for fear of how I'm wording it.

Write it honestly and you'll not go far wrong.

To clarify my reasons for not doing a review of a now old meeting, I'll try to post a link as I now believe (from doing more reading on here) that this will automatically link to her other reviews so that you can all see who I'm on about and why I think there's little or nothing I can add to what has already been said. Please bear with me if I fail to do this, as it's a steep learning curve for me trying to absorb all the information that I was given for my reading list by more experienced members of the forum, and also finding out how to posts links etc.

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

I was lucky enough (not too fluffy, I hope?) to see Brooke when she was still something of a hidden gem and before the waiting time to see her got to the ridiculous state it has reached today.
I am also concerned that anything I say could be out of date enough to not be relevant now. It seems to me that there is a possibility that her own success has gone to her head, and that she has now got a bit too big for her own boots, and it's possible that her standards have slipped too. Some of the things she has on her AW profile suggest this possibility to me, and she's all over UKE too. Why she should be wasting time on there doing shameless self promotion when she is so difficult to book anyway is beyond me. She would do better to spend more time doing her main job and seeing more punters to cut down her waiting list than making her own comments following one of her media entries there, I suspect mainly to make the comments list longer.

External Link/Members Only

All of this makes me think that she has changed so much that it would be pointless, and maybe counter productive, for me to write a review of the way she was when I saw her.
I certainly will not be paying the prices she's charging for her London tour in September  :scare:.


oring123

  • Guest
myself if i see a wg on here has 3 or more positive reviews 
i take it that she be a good/great/happy/punt aw reviews just don't give me that same feeling
due to pimps /friends /sergi/other wg all posting glowing reports in a
i,l rub your back you rub mine type contest on aw .

Offline rg41

I've recently taken a look at the way I write reviews and decided on my last one to cut out all the embellishments and just cut to the chaste. It's far easier to write and easy to read.

I agree with you.

I am sure that the reviews on AW are uninformative is because AW insisting on a minimum number of words and so to folk embellish so they make the word number so making the in the main uninformative unlike here were the reviews are more trusted.

Offline Marmalade


I am sure that the reviews on AW are uninformative is because AW insisting on a minimum number of words and so to folk embellish so they make the word number so making the in the main uninformative unlike here were the reviews are more trusted.

That's one way of looking at it. But the prossies like it. And fluffies love sucking up to them and trying to outdo each other with gracious reviews to impress their hooker-princess.

To be fair though, you can imagine a lone punter finding this site and thinking, "Oh goody, some punters to talk to!" but is still addicted to AW style of writing. When he gets flack he wants to change the forum instead of realising how it works.

I can't remember the name of it (someone will), there's a sister site run by Admin that has a more equal number of punters and prossies, no reviews, and as far as I know they're welcome to go on there and talk pink marshmallows all day.  :dancegirl: :rolleyes:
« Last Edit: April 02, 2016, 12:50:58 pm by Marmalade »

UmbertoEco

  • Guest
That's one way of looking at it. But the prossies like it. And fluffies love sucking up to them and trying to outdo each other with gracious reviews to impress their hooker-princess.

To be fair though, you can imagine a lone punter finding this site and thinking, "Oh goody, some punters to talk to!" but is still addicted to AW style of writing. When he gets flack he wants to change the forum instead of realising how it works.

I can't remember the name of it (someone will), there's a sister site run by Admin that has a more equal number of punters and prossies, no reviews, and as far as I know they're welcome to go on there and talk pink marshmallows all day.  :dancegirl: :rolleyes:

You make a good point about a person arriving here and thinking AW style reviews are the industry norm. I am glad that I was on the thread that this spun from.
Perhaps I could have been sent a guide with my registration email OR the arrival page for first time log ins could be the guidelines. I'm sure you think that this is Molly coddling newbies and that they deserve a baptism of fire but it may save some of the exasperation you are feeling. Just a simple to implement idea that may help newbies become useful contributing members quicker.

Offline daviemac

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You make a good point about a person arriving here and thinking AW style reviews are the industry norm. I am glad that I was on the thread that this spun from.
Perhaps I could have been sent a guide with my registration email OR the arrival page for first time log ins could be the guidelines. I'm sure you think that this is Molly coddling newbies and that they deserve a baptism of fire but it may save some of the exasperation you are feeling. Just a simple to implement idea that may help newbies become useful contributing members quicker.

Well covered here -  External Link/Members Only    -   PuntingWiki covers most topics for newbies all you need to do is read it.    :hi:

Offline jackdaw

Bit of a tangent, but has anybody else been confused by a euphemism?

I say "anybody else" because first time I read "on with the mac" I actually thought guy had got a raincoat fetish, and was shagging away wearing his favourite coat.

Careful re-reading of the report suggested that it was more likely he'd put a condom on his knob.

vw

  • Guest
Bit of a tangent, but has anybody else been confused by a euphemism?

I say "anybody else" because first time I read "on with the mac" I actually thought guy had got a raincoat fetish, and was shagging away wearing his favourite coat.

Careful re-reading of the report suggested that it was more likely he'd put a condom on his knob.

Not really confused, usually know what they are one about !
« Last Edit: April 02, 2016, 01:54:23 pm by vw »

Offline Steely Dan

Perhaps I could have been sent a guide with my registration email OR the arrival page for first time log ins could be the guidelines.
Wait.  What if we put a External Link/Members Only and a page on External Link/Members Only on the bottom of EVERY PAGE in case the email is lost.  Never mind we already do that.
Quote
I'm sure you think that this is Molly coddling newbies and that they deserve a baptism of fire but it may save some of the exasperation you are feeling.
I don't think anyone deserves a baptism of fire.  And actually this almost never happens.  Feedback to new posters is very polite and focused on the words not the person.  If someone posts an AW style fluffy review, they will be told that it is below standard - almost always after a brief thank you.  You will find that those who get a less polite welcome turn out (99% of the time) to be pimps, trolls or other undesirables.

Offline threechilliman

I actually enjoy reading a few euphemisms in reviews and some comedy too.

Whilst a review is about putting across the whole experience, I enjoy reading the non sterile reviews that have some comedy included. I enjoy seeing the punters personality come through in the review.

I'm probably a bad offender with the euphemisms.... sexual intercourse has been podging since I were old enough to buy a pint, like I've said, I post how I speak, podging, brass etc etc.

This paid podging lark is about fun and giving me a giggle. It will never be serious to me, if I want serious I'll buy a train set.

Oh, not serious doesn't mean careless.

+1. You've saved me having to write my own thoughts.

 :hi:

tcm

Offline Ali Katt

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These euphemisms are hilarious. My most hated is entertainer as a replacement word for prostitute.

OldAdmin

  • Guest
To clarify my reasons for not doing a review of a now old meeting, I'll try to post a link as I now believe (from doing more reading on here) that this will automatically link to her other reviews so that you can all see who I'm on about and why I think there's little or nothing I can add to what has already been said. Please bear with me if I fail to do this, as it's a steep learning curve for me trying to absorb all the information that I was given for my reading list by more experienced members of the forum, and also finding out how to posts links etc.

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

I was lucky enough (not too fluffy, I hope?) to see Brooke when she was still something of a hidden gem and before the waiting time to see her got to the ridiculous state it has reached today.
I am also concerned that anything I say could be out of date enough to not be relevant now. It seems to me that there is a possibility that her own success has gone to her head, and that she has now got a bit too big for her own boots, and it's possible that her standards have slipped too. Some of the things she has on her AW profile suggest this possibility to me, and she's all over UKE too. Why she should be wasting time on there doing shameless self promotion when she is so difficult to book anyway is beyond me. She would do better to spend more time doing her main job and seeing more punters to cut down her waiting list than making her own comments following one of her media entries there, I suspect mainly to make the comments list longer.

External Link/Members Only

All of this makes me think that she has changed so much that it would be pointless, and maybe counter productive, for me to write a review of the way she was when I saw her.
I certainly will not be paying the prices she's charging for her London tour in September  :scare:.

Pathetic white-knight fluffy now turned on the same prossie he's been obsessed about for YEARS.
Banned for life on UKP & UKE.

UmbertoEco

  • Guest
Wait.  What if we put a External Link/Members Only and a page on External Link/Members Only on the bottom of EVERY PAGE in case the email is lost.  Never mind we already do that.I don't think anyone deserves a baptism of fire.  And actually this almost never happens.  Feedback to new posters is very polite and focused on the words not the person.  If someone posts an AW style fluffy review, they will be told that it is below standard - almost always after a brief thank you.  You will find that those who get a less polite welcome turn out (99% of the time) to be pimps, trolls or other undesirables.

Calm down. You remind me of IT people who think it's clever to send RFM messages to their colleagues. I was making a suggestion about avoiding the very things about threads that are winding people up. You have just slammed me with pointing out something that is OBVIOUS TO YOU but wasn't to me.

OldAdmin

  • Guest
Calm down. You remind me of IT people who think it's clever to send RFM messages to their colleagues. I was making a suggestion about avoiding the very things about threads that are winding people up. You have just slammed me with pointing out something that is OBVIOUS TO YOU but wasn't to me.

Didn't take long.

Offline cueball

Didn't take long.

  :lol:

Bloody hell, they get banned and they're back in a flash, they're like moths to the flame.

The boss is on the ball today :D

tobyrome

  • Guest
I actually enjoy reading a few euphemisms in reviews and some comedy too.

Whilst a review is about putting across the whole experience, I enjoy reading the non sterile reviews that have some comedy included. I enjoy seeing the punters personality come through in the review.

I'm probably a bad offender with the euphemisms.... sexual intercourse has been podging since I were old enough to buy a pint, like I've said, I post how I speak, podging, brass etc etc.

This paid podging lark is about fun and giving me a giggle. It will never be serious to me, if I want serious I'll buy a train set.

Oh, not serious doesn't mean careless.


Not everybody gets your  East Lancashire hillybilly -- joshkin speak

Offline cueball



Not everybody gets your  East Lancashire hillybilly -- joshkin speak

You do though  :sarcastic:

tobyrome

  • Guest
I actually enjoy reading a few euphemisms in reviews and some comedy too.

Whilst a review is about putting across the whole experience, I enjoy reading the non sterile reviews that have some comedy included. I enjoy seeing the punters personality come through in the review.

I'm probably a bad offender with the euphemisms.... sexual intercourse has been podging since I were old enough to buy a pint, like I've said, I post how I speak, podging, brass etc etc.

This paid podging lark is about fun and giving me a giggle. It will never be serious to me, if I want serious I'll buy a train set.

Oh, not serious doesn't mean careless.


Yes its a game that should not be taken too seriously. Always should be fun

tobyrome

  • Guest
You do though  :sarcastic:


I've lived amongst your kind but thankfully not now

Offline cueball



I've lived amongst your kind but thankfully not now

We're missing you already :sarcastic:

Sorry you had to down scale but you never know, your luck might change  :D
« Last Edit: April 02, 2016, 05:10:18 pm by cueball »

Offline Blackpool Rock



Yes its a game that should not be taken too seriously. Always should be fun
Absolutely, we need to have a bit of banter and a laugh to make up for the shit punts and make it worthwhile   

Offline cueball



I've lived amongst your kind but thankfully not now

Good riddence wanker  :D see you next time :sarcastic:

seward

  • Guest
There seems to be a rather pedantic attitude to fellow forum members does it really matter as long as the essence of the review is communicated to the benefit of all , I am sure it is not the greatest offense dropping into the vernacular, perhaps a little tolerance, anyone who contributes deserves a little  respect . Function over form as long as information is conveyed.  Bloody hell me recommending tolerance the world must have moved on its axis  :D

Offline Marmalade

There seems to be a rather pedantic attitude to fellow forum members does it really matter as long as the essence of the review is communicated to the benefit of all , I am sure it is not the greatest offense dropping into the vernacular, perhaps a little tolerance, anyone who contributes deserves a little  respect . Function over form as long as information is conveyed.  Bloody hell me recommending tolerance the world must have moved on its axis  :D

 :rolleyes: 4 reviews in 3 months with a spread of pos and neg is a nice contribution, respect to you (& tolerance to your frankly daft comment), and don't you maybe think it's just perhaps a teeny bit early to tell everyone else how to mind their p's n q's?? If not, please read the rules. They're for guidance as well -- and written by someone who definitely knows his job. If still not, all I can point out is that it's not a democracy.

seward

  • Guest
Marmalade sorry if you think I was trying to tell anyone how to mind their p and qs it was just a thought on not putting anybody off writing a review. You know some of us are very delicate and now I'm cut to the core to be told I'm daft!!
Mind you those that know me would probably say a lot worse   :D

Offline Marmalade

some of us are very delicate and now I'm cut to the core
have a bandaid  :P

mrhappypants

  • Guest
Quite painful to read!

Would that be when they are unable to correctly construct a grammatical sentence?  :D

Dave

mrhappypants

  • Guest
I suspect your AW feedback is also laced with code.

Gentleman - old geezer


Fuck DON'T say that!  ALL my reviews refer to me as a Gentlman.  I thought it meant I did not leave a skid mark on the bed - unlike some of you smelly fuckers.  :D

Dave
« Last Edit: April 04, 2016, 01:55:55 pm by mrhappypants »

Offline lostandfound

Would that be when they are unable to correctly construct a grammatical sentence?  :D

Dave

You're on thin ice, accusing others of that!

mrhappypants

  • Guest
You're on thin ice, accusing others of that!

No doubt mate, but I don't write duff sentances while bemoaning the grammar of others do I?

I am just pulling your leg (OOPPS - euphamism!!!).

Dave
« Last Edit: April 04, 2016, 02:03:40 pm by mrhappypants »

Offline lostandfound

No doubt mate, but I don't write duff sentances while bemoaning the grammar of others do I?

I am just pulling your leg (OOPPS - euphamism!!!).

Dave

What's a split infinitive between friends?  :)

Arley Hall

  • Guest
ALL my reviews refer to me as a Gentlman.

Yes - I'm a "polite and clean gentleman". It conjours up an image of one of my great uncles - with a trilby hat, a watch and chain and a walking stick.

mrhappypants

  • Guest
Yes - I'm a "polite and clean gentleman". It conjours up an image of one of my great uncles - with a trilby hat, a watch and chain and a walking stick.

Fuck it gets WORSE!  Yours must mean you don't smell or pick your nose: I presumably do BOTH. I am on a punt waiting for the final address text.  I am going to ask her what the euphamism means.

Dave

5th Musketeer

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Would that be when they are unable to correctly construct a grammatical sentence?  :D

Dave
A split infinitive  :scare:

Offline Nagilum

I have been taken to task here on the East Midlands board for criticising the use of euphemistic phrases such as 'we sorted the paperwork out' and 'it was on with the hat /mac / raincoat'

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=91427.new#new

Personally I find such phrases in reports extremely grating and a sign of fluffiness as though they are trying to deny it's a paid encounter.

What do others think?

I use them myself, but ony because i thought it was the lingo of the forum.  Never thought of it that way before.  :unknown:

seward

  • Guest
I use them myself, but ony because i thought it was the lingo of the forum.  Never thought of it that way before.  :unknown:

Im glad you said that it just proves my post on dropping into the vernacular it's so natural in groups it's how catch phrases start to the annoyance of some on forums :D

Offline Horizontal pleasures

Years ago I had some academic stuff to write and someone said "if you are going to pass, the examiner has to enjoy reading it and if she or he is going to enjoy reading it you should enjoy writing it", and that is how I began. 10 years later my apparently anonymous text was mentioned in a jocular way by a colleague who was the anonymous examiner. He reckoned no one else but me would have used the style I did for a serious topic and ten years was long enough ago for him to come out over it.

So I enjoy writing reviews and even if I declare that mister happy was happy and stood to attention. I shall write them for my own pleasure and so hope that they will be for your pleasure also.

If someone writes euphemistic phrases too often they can go and play their on their own euphonium some place else.

I recall many years ago I was writing a 'field report' while on vacation, as they were then known, and missus HP came into the room and looked over my shoulder before I could close the screen. I made out it was a work report and apologised for working on holiday. I had gone for a quick punt while supposedly visiting a large Tesco and got lost on the way back ..... so now they are reviews and no longer field reports. I did manage to close the screen before she realised and brought up a screen of local cinemas which was ready underneath. Phew.

While on the subject of reviews at what point do we introduce a maximum number of posts beyond which a poster can no longer post until he writes a review?

PS, Field Reports were on Punter Net, long before AW.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2016, 08:36:50 pm by Horizontal pleasures »

mrhappypants

  • Guest
A split infinitive  :scare:

At least I remembered the full stop. :D

I got Spicy Julia's take on the "gentleman" debate and she says she thinks it is OK but in realit she was probably placating me.  She said "clean and polite" probably means you are a bit boring.  By the end I think she thought I was a bit too much of a pervert to be a "gentleman." 

Dave
« Last Edit: April 04, 2016, 08:32:40 pm by mrhappypants »

Arley Hall

  • Guest
She said "clean and polite" probably means you are a bit boring.

My worst fears confirmed! An AW prossie once described me as "a bit shy". That still rankles. I reckon £100 from an introvert buys the same goods and services as £100 from an extrovert! Cheeky tart.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2016, 09:19:47 pm by Arley Hall »

Offline cueball

My worst fears confirmed! An AW prossie once described me as "a bit shy". That still rankles. I reckon £100 from an introvert buys the same goods and services as £100 from an extrovert! Cheeky tart.

Don't sweat it.

It won't put you off punting, it won't put lasses off seeing you and it won't spoil any future punts unless you let it.

I've had the full spectrum... gentle, horny, energetic, sex God, gentleman, guy, pleasant etc etc, all sorts.

The words don't really matter.

I can't say for the lasses but I use the aw feedback just as a cross reference to ensure she's pukka. Gems, treat her well, diamond and all the other guff mean nothing to me. What I want to know from feedback is... is she real? Will she fuck me about? Am I safe?

I assume the lasses have a similar thought process but we've got ukp and that beats the lot.


Offline Malvolio

"We sorted the paperwork" is the one that gets me - it's a punt and it's not going to happen unless you pay her.

Arley Hall

  • Guest
Don't sweat it.

I was exagerrating my reaction a bit for comic effect :) I've also changed my AW username a couple of times since then, so it's water under the bridge.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2016, 09:55:09 pm by Arley Hall »