External Link/Members OnlyAm new to using the escorting scene and have only used a handful of girls with mixed results some really good, and a few less enjoyable. I joined this forum primarily to leave a review for the escort Miss Kerri Banks of Leven in FIfe. I feel an obligation to highlight the extremely poor service she provides.
I booked her through AW, and I can now see there is a fundamental flaw in their review system, Miss Banks has 100+ positive ratings, Shocked to believe that nobody has had a similar experience. This is because of reciprocal feedback system. Where the client would be fearful of leaving accurate feedback because there would be retaliatory negative feedback.
I booked for 1 hour with Miss Banks for £150
I will try and break down experience in to sections.
MYSELF;
I am in my late thirties, professional. Medium build. Clean, healthy. Trimmed and groomed in all the right places. Showered, smelling fresh. Don't have bad breath, non smoker. Cant imagine being with me would be considered an unpleasant experience. However my time with this girl would lead me to start thinking otherwise.
BOOKING;
I must have called, emailed and texted almost 10 times to arrange an appointment, with very little response. I had to do all the work. In retrospect this should have been a clear warning sign. Anyone that takes this level of professionalism towards booking clients is a worry.
ARRIVAL;
I understand from a safety point of view these girls like to see who they are dealing with, but being asked to park directly outside her flat so my car is in full view in not the most discreet of locations felt weird. I made the appointment for 2pm and was perhaps 5-10 mins early.
I was greeted at the front door, with a lukewarm reception and ushered inside.
To say the flat was a disgrace was an understatement, I do not need to see inside your kitchen or living space, so if it is untidy simply close the door. When we got to the bedroom I was shocked, the 1 room where you conduct your business and it is a shit hole!
Unmade bed, crap strewn all over the floor, unclean and very untidy. I used the loo and wished I had not. No excuse for a shit stained toilet, lots of general bit and bobs over floor, did not smell nice either. I had already formed my opinion that if the girl cant clean her house how is she going to present herself? To say I was being turned off was true. I came out of the bathroom and was promptly asked to undress, my doctors bedside manner before he put his digit up my arse was more pleasant and I didn't have to pay him for the privilege!
THE SERVICE;
I am no George Clooney so will try to be as fair as I can when reviewing Miss Banks in the looks department. I think it would be fair to describe her as 'BOBFOC', Body of Baywatch Face of Crimewatch.
She is a chatty girl, but her incessant nattering is mind numbing, if I wanted to listen to someone talk absolute bollocks I would visit my 3 year old nephew.
We all know what you do for a living, but I do not want to hear about your other clients, how often they cum and what they do, how incredibly naive and unprofessional.
I lay on the bed where I was treated like a leper, the flat was cold so she was like an icicle. There was a little kissing but no intimacy whatsoever.
She asked how many times I was going to cum, I didn't realise this was a decision I would have to make at the start of our meet.
She asked if I wanted oral before I was even erect. I am new to this so was a little nervous but getting hard with her cold hands touching me wasn't easy. She then put on the thickest and tightest durex I have ever experienced! Seriously it cut the blood flow off!
After less than 30 seconds of a half arsed BJ she asked if I wanted to go on top.
After a few minutes of being on top, we tried doggy.
Now I would not consider myself as particularly well endowed but was asked not to go 'too deep' as I was 'quite big'. Have had no other issues with any other girls. If you can only handle a 4" cock then you should surely put this on your advert. After a few minutes I was asked to go on top again. I was fine with this, I understand that I may indeed be 'larger' than usual. I in no way want to hurt the girl. After 5-6 minutes of awkward awful sex she asked if I wanted to cum on her tits.
If I was honest, the answer was not really, wasn't even close to it, went there to enjoy myself and was rushed at every point. I however obliged.
I then got up, was offered a shower but I don't think I was supposed to say yes. Like to whole experience the shower was a let down too. Cold and lackluster, no hot water, shower door broken and off the hinges. Towel smelled rank. I think I was cleaner before I got in the shower!
I got dressed and then was promptly shown the door.
FINAL THOUGHTS;
I booked and paid £150 for 1 hour. I was in, undressed, given her appalling 'GFE', showered, dressed and back in the car in under 25 minutes. I was actually back in the office in Dundee which is a 24 mile drive on B roads before our appointment should have been over.
This experience has really knocked my confidence in escorts.
I would categorically NOT RECOMMEND this girl.
If you have a small cock and you want to be fleeced of £150 and given a cold, unprofessional service that would put you off using any other girl for a while the Miss Kerri Banks is the one for you.
Otherwise I would recommend you stay at home and have a wank!!!
Thanks for reading