Popular media on UKEscorting.com (free site!)

UKPunting is a free, independent and not-for-profit paid sex buyer site.




Author Topic: Miss Kerri Banks, Leven Fife PLEASE READ!!!!!!  (Read 3869 times)


2 review(s) for KERRI_BANKS (0 positive, 1 neutral, 1 negative) [Indexed by Admin]


Offline Keyser Soze

https://www.adultwork.com/ViewProfile.asp?UserID=2108639

Am new to using the escorting scene and have only used a handful of girls with mixed results some really good, and a few less enjoyable. I joined this forum primarily to leave a review for the escort Miss Kerri Banks of Leven in FIfe. I feel an obligation to highlight the extremely poor service she provides.

I booked her through AW, and I can now see there is a fundamental flaw in their review system, Miss Banks has 100+ positive ratings, Shocked to believe that nobody has had a similar experience. This is because of reciprocal feedback system. Where the client would be fearful of leaving accurate feedback because there would be retaliatory negative feedback.     

I booked for 1 hour with Miss Banks for £150

I will try and break down experience in to sections.

MYSELF;
I am in my late thirties, professional. Medium build. Clean, healthy. Trimmed and groomed in all the right places. Showered, smelling fresh. Don't have bad breath, non smoker. Cant imagine being with me would be considered an unpleasant experience. However my time with this girl would lead me to start thinking otherwise.

BOOKING;
I must have called, emailed and texted almost 10 times to arrange an appointment, with very little response. I had to do all the work. In retrospect this should have been a clear warning sign. Anyone that takes this level of professionalism towards booking clients is a worry.

ARRIVAL;
I understand from a safety point of view these girls like to see who they are dealing with, but being asked to park directly outside her flat so my car is in full view in not the most discreet of locations felt weird. I made the appointment for 2pm and was perhaps 5-10 mins early.
I was greeted at the front door, with a lukewarm reception and ushered inside.
To say the flat was a disgrace was an understatement, I do not need to see inside your kitchen or living space, so if it is untidy simply close the door. When we got to the bedroom I was shocked, the 1 room where you conduct your business and it is a shit hole!
Unmade bed, crap strewn all over the floor, unclean and very untidy. I used the loo and wished I had not. No excuse for a shit stained toilet, lots of general bit and bobs over floor, did not smell nice either. I had already formed my opinion that if the girl cant clean her house how is she going to present herself? To say I was being turned off was true. I came out of the bathroom and was promptly asked to undress, my doctors bedside manner before he put his digit up my arse was more pleasant and I didn't have to pay him for the privilege!   

THE SERVICE;
I am no George Clooney so will try to be as fair as I can when reviewing Miss Banks in the looks department. I think it would be fair to describe her as 'BOBFOC', Body of Baywatch Face of Crimewatch.
She is a chatty girl, but her incessant nattering is mind numbing, if I wanted to listen to someone talk absolute bollocks I would visit my 3 year old nephew.
We all know what you do for a living, but I do not want to hear about your other clients, how often they cum and what they do, how incredibly naive and unprofessional.
 
I lay on the bed where I was treated like a leper, the flat was cold so she was like an icicle. There was a little kissing but no intimacy whatsoever.
She asked how many times I was going to cum, I didn't realise this was a decision I would have to make at the start of our meet.

She asked if I wanted oral before I was even erect. I am new to this so was a little nervous but getting hard with her cold hands touching me wasn't easy. She then put on the thickest and tightest durex I have ever experienced! Seriously it cut the blood flow off!

After less than 30 seconds of a half arsed BJ she asked if I wanted to go on top.
After a few minutes of being on top, we tried doggy.

Now I would not consider myself as particularly well endowed but was asked not to go 'too deep' as I was 'quite big'. Have had no other issues with any other girls. If you can only handle a 4" cock then you should surely put this on your advert. After a few minutes I was asked to go on top again. I was fine with this, I understand that I may indeed be 'larger' than usual. I in no way want to hurt the girl. After 5-6 minutes of awkward awful sex she asked if I wanted to cum on her tits.
If I was honest, the answer was not really, wasn't even close to it, went there to enjoy myself and was rushed at every point. I however obliged.

I then got up, was offered a shower but I don't think I was supposed to say yes. Like to whole experience the shower was a let down too. Cold and lackluster, no hot water, shower door broken and off the hinges. Towel smelled rank. I think I was cleaner before I got in the shower!

I got dressed and then was promptly shown the door.

FINAL THOUGHTS;
I booked and paid £150 for 1 hour. I was in, undressed,  given her appalling 'GFE', showered, dressed and back in the car in under 25 minutes. I was actually back in the office in Dundee which is a 24 mile drive on B roads before our appointment should have been over.

This experience has really knocked my confidence in escorts.

I would categorically NOT RECOMMEND this girl.

If you have a small cock and you want to be fleeced of £150 and given a cold, unprofessional service that would put you off using any other girl for a while the Miss Kerri Banks is the one for you.
Otherwise I would recommend you stay at home and have a wank!!!

Thanks for reading
Banning reason: Admitting to criminal theft


2 review(s) found for KERRI_BANKS linked to in above post (0 positive, 1 neutral, 1 negative)

Offline Rangerslad

One other review is a neutral verging on positive.

Did you leave her bad feedback back on aw then or bottle it incase you got the same back.

To be honest I'm a bit sceptical of the review. It seems that everything is a disaster from start to finish and sounds a bit over exageratated to me. It's also your first post on maybe slating the competition.

I saw Kerri Banks a good few years ago and as I've said on other posts before she was a slam dunk negative.  That said this does seem to be a massively exaggerated report.

I don't remember her place being dirty. I wouldn't have had her as BOBFOC - quite plain looking rather than munter and a 5'10" body squashed into a 5'4" frame.

Services were some unmemorable I can't even remember whether they were dull verging on awful or dull verging on completely mediocre. Definitely not £150 a go.

I wouldn't recommend or return but her phone doesn't ever seem to get dusty so she must have fans.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2016, 09:05:04 PM by DickDiver »

Offline Courtney

MYSELF;
I am in my late thirties, professional. Medium build. Clean, healthy. Trimmed and groomed in all the right places. Showered, smelling fresh. Don't have bad breath, non smoker. Cant imagine being with me would be considered an unpleasant experience. However my time with this girl would lead me to start thinking otherwise.

You babe! :kissgirl:

This experience has really knocked my confidence in escorts.
:unknown:....self pity? :cry: .....get a grip on yourself, it's not the end of the world. :blush:



I saw her about 3 years ago in an Aberdeen hotel, and back then she looked tip top, basque, stockings and was really made up and looking great.  I do remember that after I'd shagged her, she wouldn't stop talking about herself, she went on and on and I had to be pretty blunt to make sure I got round 2 underway.

Still, for what it's worth I believe your review, sometimes shit just happens and it looks like it's hit you square in the face, sorry to hear it.

Offline JazzMan

It seems to me that you are unable to give a balanced view.

She has every right to be careful about her security.

"She asked if I wanted oral before I was even erect"
Maybe she wanted to give you a bj to get you erect.

If you didn't like the flat you should have walked.

Way over the top, not that bad, there's a lot worse.





Banning reason: Slagging off membership

£150 an hour I would have expected the place to be like a palace and be treated like a king,I would have walked.

Just for telling the truth there are some f w s post here .

Offline Keyser Soze

For what it is worth reading some of the replies, this is an honest review. In future I may sugar coat things to put positive spin on it for all you doubters. If anyone doubts the validity of the review I would encourage you to make an appointment fork out £150 and the add to the original review with you own thoughts.
Banning reason: Admitting to criminal theft

Offline RandyF

For what it is worth reading some of the replies, this is an honest review. In future I may sugar coat things to put positive spin on it for all you doubters. If anyone doubts the validity of the review I would encourage you to make an appointment fork out £150 and the add to the original review with you own thoughts.

The PLEASE READ!!!!!!  'I've got an agenda' urgency put me right off mate.  Never heard of the boot, thank fuck.

She keeps some seriously dodgy company with the 'creampie cumsluts' group though.
https://www.adultwork.com/ViewGroup.asp?GroupID=15661

Bloke with a wig on tranny, barebaking tranny, fat munter barebacker, manky pretend pornstars, few fake profile pornstars.  :vomit:
Banning reason: Troll

Offline Rangerslad

Did u leave her negative feedback on aw then?

Offline coco1985

Well what can you add to this not a lot...well its Fife the trash can of escorting...

  :dash: :dash: :dash: :dash:

Hold this thought: Kerri Banks is regarded as one of Fife's finest. Certainly among Fife's most expensive.
This should give some perspective on what punters North of the Forth have to choose from...

Offline Cd06

I'll chuck my thoughts in. Seen kerri last year in Aberdeen. She's a good looking girl imo, but nothing special as I believe she thinks herself to be. The service was plain, but still just enough enthusiasm to keep me going. She was friendly, not a girl to get into an intellectual conversation with, but then that's not what I was there for. Other threads and reviews here tend to lean towards a neutral, of which I would agree. Shame, as she has the potential to be an excellent escort.

Hold this thought: Kerri Banks is regarded as one of Fife's finest. Certainly among Fife's most expensive.
This should give some perspective on what punters North of the Forth have to choose from...

Yep.  She's easily top three.  Easily.   

It would be hilarious if it wasn't so tragic.

Yep.  She's easily top three.  Easily.   

It would be hilarious if it wasn't so tragic.

Fife is a desperate situation. Imagine how busy decent touring lassies would be.

Best in Fife is like being the tallest midget.

Offline ickydicky

Fife is a desperate situation. Imagine how busy decent touring lassies would be.

Best in Fife is like being the tallest midget.

and that applies to more than the hoors there. :dash:
Banning reason: Previously banned (stevieshake)

Fife is a desperate situation. Imagine how busy decent touring lassies would be.

Best in Fife is like being the tallest midget.

Fife is great place to be. The Victorians gave it the iron horse to Edinburgh. It heap good.

I'm farther away than Fife from the non sheep action, and the iron horse is the best way to Edinburgh.   :hi:

I'm dying to see her she's been on my hot list for ages,  anyone else seen her recently?

Offline MrMatrix

I see no reason to doubt the OP. Its his experience and he's voiced it. I live 400 miles away so I don't care. But we shouldn't rush to knock a negative report because the OP feels pissed off and gives us full facts of his shit experience. Surely this is what this site is about.  :hi:
I appreciate his honesty.
The next punter can update us with his experience so we will be even better informed.  :thumbsup:


Offline Jon aberdeen

I seen her in Aberdeen - waste of money - would of been better with a wank than fork out 150 sheets and I had similar experience - was our door in 25 mins! All she went on about was herself! 
Banning reason: Frivolous report + White-knight tout




Latest videos on UKEscorting.com (free site!)

Latest images on UKEscorting.com (free site!)