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Author Topic: You know you are punting at the lower end of the market when........  (Read 4556 times)

Offline PLeisure

This thread needs to be stickied - some quality ghetto moments here  :D :sarcastic: :crazy:
 - kudos to the OP  :drinks:
« Last Edit: March 31, 2016, 09:57:33 AM by PLeisure »

woah....some of these stories make me feel like a punting snob. I don't know how you guys go through with some of this stuff.

Worst thing happened to me before I joined here or had the ability to walk. I have to admit it's nothing  compared to other stuff mentioned here.

I booked a wg, got instructions, got to a shitty neighbourhood went up shitty crumbling stairs.
Doors opened by and older woman I didn't fancy one bit. Hesitated then and didn't walk only from lack of experience.
Her flat was a fucking mess. It was old and falling apart. It wasn't dirty as in mud everywhere but it had this sleazy feel about.
I didn't want to put my shit on the floor or take my boots off. I took a shower in a creaky bathroom trying to touch as little of the surroundings as possible.
She wasn't bad in the end. CIM and a bit of awkward sex. On top of everything fucking condom broke. So I did CIM again and ran for my life.

Very good learning experience. Promised myself to walk next time it feels wrong. Walked twice since.

In Tallin on a stag do, severely pissed up, asked taxi driver to take us to girls. Drove out of the city centre to a neighbourhood that made Coronation Street look like Knightsbridge, dropped us outside a grey two storey house. We knock on the door, get let in by an old babushka and shown into waiting room. Offered beers and then in come the girls for us to choose, they were young, scantily but cheaply dressed with stripper heels, all looked a bit vacant, likely drugged up but I chose two "sisters". Upstairs to the bedroom, got down to business, not bad, we were all naked when a major commotion started, mens voices shouting angrily, loads of crashing noises like furniture being broken. Sobered up fast, got dressed sharpish, gathered the rest of the lads, the main door was smashed up and there was debris everywhere. We ran, fast, as we reached the corner heard what sounded like a gunshot followed by screaming, did not go back to check....presumably some kind of turf war over the girls/drugs or whatever.

Quote
In Tallin on a stag do, severely pissed up, asked taxi driver to take us to girls. Drove out of the city centre to a neighbourhood that made Coronation Street look like Knightsbridge, dropped us outside a grey two storey house. We knock on the door, get let in by an old babushka and shown into waiting room. Offered beers and then in come the girls for us to choose, they were young, scantily but cheaply dressed with stripper heels, all looked a bit vacant, likely drugged up but I chose two "sisters". Upstairs to the bedroom, got down to business, not bad, we were all naked when a major commotion started, mens voices shouting angrily, loads of crashing noises like furniture being broken. Sobered up fast, got dressed sharpish, gathered the rest of the lads, the main door was smashed up and there was debris everywhere. We ran, fast, as we reached the corner heard what sounded like a gunshot followed by screaming, did not go back to check....presumably some kind of turf war over the girls/drugs or whatever.

Sounds like another evening in Speke, Liverpool mate.

Sounds like another evening in Speke, Liverpool mate.

I lived in Liverpool in the mid eighties,. know what you mean pal!

I remember about 2 years ago before i knew about this forum there was a girl advertising herself in the Metro as the "cock doctor". Rang and booked, got to the place, normal house in normal street. Knocked on the door, and a very worn out woman opened the door with the chain still on and barked "have you got an appointment?" I thought to myself "she's taking this Dr thing very seriously isnt she?". Turned out the "cock Dr" was upstairs and ready. A woman in the 30s that had never been to medical school. Ok punt, nothing really to speak of.

Offline anyfucker

you guys sure know how to live.

Offline RedKettle

be sure to review - might be worth travelling if it is a decent punt!

mother (and grandmother I am embarrassed to confess) is "retired" I believe and only sees myself and another old regular.  Frankly not sure anyone else would bother, I only do occasionally when I want seedy.

if it turns out daughter is becoming a WG then I will review if I see her - my fantasy at the moment is that mother thinks I would be a good first punt for the daughter  :thumbsup:  Yea I know - unlikely.

crap moments:
Walking through the living room whilst the gran watches daytime tv on a council house sized plasma... dogs going mad in the kitchen and taking the stairway to heaven or rather the converted loft <good views mind>

Squeezing through the rubbish bins to get to the flat above the kebab  shop, aroma D'Donna and surround sound of the tube trains rumbling past...

Don't get any of this in your modern serviced flats, much more interesting and colourful.

Offline Marmalade

When you save 30p by taking your own condom (true story)

Offline Steve2

crap moments:


Squeezing through the rubbish bins to get to the flat above the kebab  shop, aroma D'Donna and surround sound of the tube trains rumbling past...



Sounds like a well known flat in Kingsbury ;)

Offline sireel

.... you're getting a two girl massage at a parlour, and the two are that rough you're struggling to even get hard. So as the fat one is wanking you off, with her finger lodged firmly up your arse, the wild-eyed crackhead looking one flops a tit into your face that has the unmistakable and pungent aroma -and taste- of B.O... and you're that desperately close to the vinegar strokes you suck it anyway as you cum. On the way home you seriously question what you are doing with your life.

Offline RedKettle

...the door is opened by a complete minger, the sort of overweight chip eating smoking old slapper that appears in the media whenever a journalist wants to have a go at people on benefits.  The room is disgusting with piles of clothes all over the place, you tell yourself they are washed but not yet ironed, you are kidding yourself.  She hauls her top off revealing a pair of floppy bags and a spare tyre, yanks down her skirt and without removing any of the clothes on the bed lies down and gives you a bored could not give a shit look.  You look around and there is damp on the walls, bowls with the remains of food in and a funny smell which might be her or the flat.  This is before you had found AW and UKP was still a fantasy for a young NIK who was busy writing his book.  You had no plan B and you were horny as fuck.......

I have left punts thinking that was seedy and I enjoyed it - in this case I felt nothing but self loathing and I did not punt for quite a while afterwards.

In the 80s I was cruising around Glasgow's red light district, The Blythswood Square area, as one did in those days. It had been raining recently, and I drove through a puddle, and accidentally splashed a mini skirted WG, who shouted in protest.  I think that my mind was on the girls rather than the puddles. By way of apology, I picked her up and shagged her.  :rose:

Offline Turtle Z

By way of apology, I picked her up and shagged her.  :rose:

Conduct that is both chivalrous and gentlemanly!  :hi:

...the pimp tries to mug you on the way out...

Offline RedKettle

This thread is great and it has brought back some old memories, and one or two from not so long ago, of some pretty seedy moments that with hindsight I quite enjoyed.  It also made me really appreciate the punt today with a tried and tested (and quite classy) WG!!

bed was a mattress on the floor, no sheets, bog was filthy - no bogroll (I had wipes in my bag) - dirty cups on the bare floorboards, no curtains, rented TV, baby in cot in next room (which I did not realise until it woke up at some point) but the punt was terrific, she was really randy.

Offline Simplysimon

Get given address to , so she claimed on her profile , a 4* hotel , arrive at the postcode to find it is a hostel for homeless single mothers !!!
I walked (or drove)

I was having Anal with a russian woman in a Soho walkup while she was on the phone to her mother lool

Offline ComeAgain

....that moment of horror. A threesome with two lovely Edinburgh ladies. A bit of kink ensued. One went down to suck my cock, whilst the other straddled my face. The stench!! The stench of ammonia from her rancid fanny....left me bereft for weeks afterwards.

Offline Marmalade

....that moment of horror. A threesome with two lovely Edinburgh ladies. A bit of kink ensued. One went down to suck my cock, whilst the other straddled my face. The stench!! The stench of ammonia from her rancid fanny....left me bereft for weeks afterwards.
Name n rancifanni shame ?   :angelgirl:

Getting a Thai girl on all fours for doggy and me seeing she has Piles  :vomit:

Offline londinium

.... you get her top off and see self harm cuts and trackmarks on arms from heroin use!!!!! Run Run.

Offline Sonny Crockett

When she says she's fed up with escorting.
Banning reason: Troll


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