This is sad:
So you see, I am very tolerant and forgiving as I think I understand how it must feel for a young woman to have to put up with an old fart like me. Just because I was beautiful when I was young does not make me attractive to the girls now. Sad isn't it.
You're paying for a service you fucking chump: she's not interested in whether you are young or old of attractive. She expects you to be clean, not rough her up or fuck her about, and to pay the agreed amount.
Your pathetic self-image comes from being pussywhipped, probably in your marriage. Get a grip ffs.
Btw this is a punters'
forum. If you want to wallow in what you imagine
the girl is feeling, try mumsnet. The only thing that might put her off you (if you are clean, polite and paying) is being a pathetic fucking mouse.