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Author Topic: How to shave your ass crack?  (Read 2544 times)

Offline willmo1

I use the trimmer on my electric razor but I've a prolapsed pile so it can get messy if I catch it so beware of that.

Thanks for that.   :vomit:
Banning reason: Leaver

Offline uutarn

I've been shaving my ass crack for 20 years and never cut myself with a razor, you just have to careful the first few times until you get used to it then it will become second nature.

Seriously, just be conscious of where the blade is and the angle its at and you will be fine.

You could go all the way and douche :).


I kind of know the answer to this I think but here goes anyway  - to those fellow married or attached  punters, what excuse do you use to the wife if she asks why you have shaved your crack ? :scare:

I know the obvious answer is she's very unlikely to be down there  :lol: that's why we're here !   but always have a plan b

Bb

Offline mh

I kind of know the answer to this I think but here goes anyway  - to those fellow married or attached  punters, what excuse do you use to the wife if she asks why you have shaved your crack ? :scare:

I know the obvious answer is she's very unlikely to be down there  :lol: that's why we're here !   but always have a plan b

Bb

^ This. But in the rare event she ever ventures down there soon after I've trimmed or shaved, I did it for her of course!

Why on earth would she notice that you've shaved your bum ( unless you are very hairy , so it was obvious )

Just tell them you prefer the feel ..and it's more hygienic .... a lot of younger blokes are going for this back, sack and crack waxing ( all down to porn I would suspect )....

Once you start shaving on a regular basis  you never look back ( no pun intended )




Offline CelticWarrior2

^ This. But in the rare event she ever ventures down there soon after I've trimmed or shaved, I did it for her of course!

+1
She couldn't find my crack with a compass but she clocks my shaved balls and I say it's for the gym - cleaner and more hygienic with sweaty bollocks - common sense!
Googled Veet for men gel and read the Amazon reviews - fuck that for a game of soldiers - sounds like chemical warfare on yer nads - I'll stick to my Philips groomer thanks all the same.
Banning reason: Trolling another member + Reposting despite post deletion

Offline Corky

Though not available directly in the UK (you have to order from USA and delivery will therefore take a while) - google "baKblade".

You will find their website, and also some demonstration videos. The hair really does come off as it does in the videos, and it just feels like a back scratcher.

Why on earth would she notice that you've shaved your bum

Well she's female , they notice the tiniest change in behaviour, appearance  etc , a shaved arsehole would definitely have the potential for awkward questions .

Like I say more chance of hell freezing over than her rimming me so probably safe to do , I just don't like probables in this hobby .

Bb

Offline Marmalade

I used to find that a safety razor blade lasted quite a while, now most brands seem to go dull pretty quickly. I don't think hair has become more bristly: I think they have maybe dulled the blades so people have to buy them more often. I think veet is fine to get the last bits but use a a trimmer first or shave the longer stuff off. I think that story about veet was unusual. You can always try a small amount first. Balls are harder, and if you're not veet-averse it does a good job on them. A large number of civvies who only have sex occasionally and think they are liberal for doing it with the lights on will think shaving anything is weird. One civvie (an ex-gf) responded with shock horror. (I thought, if you spent longer with your head down there you might notice you daft cow). I think it was swinging that alerted me to it as I got to see and talk to other couples including the women's blokes. It's just nicer not to have a mouthful of hair and more hygienic too. As for women, I'm not always a fan of total shaving as I think a bit of hair is nice. But paying some attention to your nether regions signals to me that (male or female) you possibly put time in thinking about it and using it and actually care.

Offline Marmalade

For any newbies -- don't do it just before a punt. You want at least a day for any slight smell of veet to disappear and any tiny nicks to heal.

I kind of know the answer to this I think but here goes anyway  - to those fellow married or attached  punters, what excuse do you use to the wife if she asks why you have shaved your crack ? :scare:

I know the obvious answer is she's very unlikely to be down there  :lol: that's why we're here !   but always have a plan b

Bb

Well my tactic is to keep myself tidy and groomed all the time. Curious onlookers will just think I'm having a midlife crisis or "coming out".

Well my tactic is to keep myself tidy and groomed all the time. Curious onlookers will just think I'm having a midlife crisis or "coming out".

Cheers but I'm on a major fail on most of those fronts ! Hence the question.

Bb

Offline webpunter

For any newbies -- don't do it just before a punt. You want at least a day for any slight smell of veet to disappear and any tiny nicks to heal.
+1 - especially on the knob & ball bag area.  Even if you're only going for B2B massage.  Coz some masseuses do engage in a bit of sliding around.  God do i love pussy slides.  Probably not the best idea but i've not come a cropper yet.  But nasty-nicks & fanny batter ain't a good combo.  My preference is for a small landing strip even if only a couple of days growth.  That slightly stubbly / grazey type feel drives me nuts.  On my back & specially up & down the shaft  :yahoo:

Offline AnthG

For any newbies -- don't do it just before a punt. You want at least a day for any slight smell of veet to disappear and any tiny nicks to heal.

I was going to recommend Veet for men. And would definitely plus 1 this advice. If you have even the most minor skin abrasions that you cannot even notice. The Veet for men will turn it into a full on nick and cut. And the first time you even notice it is when you feel the stinging burn from it which is too late.

This needs at least 2 days to recover from.

I personally use the Veet for men about 3 or 4 days before a punt.

Offline dkn

Might not be a popular suggestion, but I go with a "borrowed" female epilator for arse clearance.  Actually not as painful as you might think, relatively quick, and gives a lovely finish.

As with others, I fear the discovery of such grooming, but that's a place she'll *never* be looking!

And, is it just me, or do we all find it amusing the change of tone with farts when you have a lovely smooth arse crack?   :cry:

Offline webpunter

And, is it just me, or do we all find it amusing the change of tone with farts when you have a lovely smooth arse crack?   :cry:
I did some post - yonks ago about this.  Mine goes up at least an octave
To provide a car analogy:  more like a Lambo whine, whereas before a deep V8 burble.  Yours "JeremyC"

Offline dkn

I did some post - yonks ago about this.  Mine goes up at least an octave
To provide a car analogy:  more like a Lambo whine, whereas before a deep V8 burble.  Yours "JeremyC"
Yup, it's either that, or proper tractor style parpy!

Offline webpunter

You've got to read the reviews on Amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK
IMO opinion the funniest is below - have posted b4, but worthy of mention on this thread me thinks:
__________________________________________________________________________________

ByTagnutt Mandevilleon 24 April 2012
As a highly competitive amateur athlete, I have long been aware of the benefits of a highly polished scrotum pole and hair-free saddle-bags, especially when going for the `longer look' as displayed by Linford in his famous lunchbox.

Previously I had used the old-school method of a cutthroat razor, but as you can imagine, this was a tricky and delicate operation, and to make matters worse, it was difficult to get into a comfortable position in the chair at my local Barbers. Anyway, I am quite hairy down there and my snippet valve looks like Brian May's plughole so eventually the Barber said he could no longer perform the task for me. He also said that looking up my whizzer every Saturday at 11:30 put him off his lunch, as he usually has toad-in-the-hole followed by chocolate-coated donuts as a Saturday treat.

He did not want to leave me in the lurch and said that he had read some excellent reviews on Amazon about Veet for men and suggested I give it try.

Like many other reviewers, I made the mistake of not reading the bumph properly; I used the whole tube and completely coated my cock eggs, barse and nipsy with the stuff. Anyway, I lost track of time, and it was the foul stench of dissolving clinkers and melting hair that brought me to my senses. As I looked at my watch through the putrid fog that had formed around me, I could see that it had been applied for exactly 5 minutes 59 seconds. This presented me with a problem, as when the searing pain began, I was outside my flat, sat in the communal gardens, in a deck chair precisely 100 meters and 3 flights of stairs away from my bathroom. It was as if I had lowered my under-carriage through a volcano and into Hades, whereupon Beelzebub, annoyed by the uninvited intrusion, jabbed me in the rectum with his fork.

I took off from the deckchair like Usain Bolt out of the TV adverts. Within 12 seconds, the bathroom was filled with steamy fetid barse broth, and I had the clock weights, biffin's-bridge and Sherriff's badge under ice-cold running water at the tap end of the bath. This did not please the missus, as she was relaxing in there at the time surrounded by floating petals and candles, although she did say that the sight of my ringpiece flashing like a brake light was impressive, and she was pleased to see that my arse barnacles had all but disappeared.

When I looked at my watch again, I realised how quickly I had made it up the stairs and the idea dawned on me that I had discovered a 100% legal sports performance enhancer. Now when I compete in a competition I dab a small amount around my Samantha Janus and taint exactly 6 minutes before the race is due to start. If I am doing the hurdles, I change the ratio and put more on my barse to make me jump higher. This proved to be particularly effective a couple of weeks ago, as after crossing the hurdles finish line, I accidentally won the high jump and steeple chase too, looking for the water jump to wash the stuff off.

Now I can hear you all thinking that none of this is particularly extraordinary, especially given the reviews that you have already read. However, when I tell you that I am 45 years old, 5' 4" tall and weigh 15 stone, and I used to do the shot-put that should put things into context. As this is an Olympic year I think Tagnutt and Mandeville or whatever their names are, should be redesigned with hairless nether-regions and the British squad should use my technique and be sponsored by Veet, although I don't recommend it for the beach volley ball team
________________________________________________________

Enjoy ..

Offline Rod trotter

Too much hassle

My arse is hairy but squeeky clean and a certain wg on a recent punt had no hesitation in rimming me as did the one before her

Its amazing
Banning reason: Pathetic little shit threatening Admin that he would get himself banned unless his account is deleted

I have never shaved my Arse crack. Thought about it once but a web search came back with posters complaining of extra sweaty crack post defuzz, itching and ongoing issues as the hair grows back. That was enough to kill the idea. It might be like face shaving. Some get shaving rash and irritation, others can shave with a knackered old razor and be fine.



Offline webpunter

Just ordered this from John Lewis, £19.99, bargain!
How posh.  Cheaper & you'll benefit from an extra years warranty as an electrical item.  Might be beneficial coz you could burn the motor out.  Would love to be there in the shop if this happened & you explaining the reason for the return.  "Well i'm bringing it back coz ........"  :lol:

Offline dkn

I have never shaved my Arse crack. Thought about it once but a web search came back with posters complaining of extra sweaty crack post defuzz, itching and ongoing issues as the hair grows back.
Not as bad as all that, really.  Yes, you lose the air drying effect of hair, but that's about it as far as I'm concerned. Feels far more erotic during arse play too. Also easier to wipe after a shit - those hairs do like to cling on to the crap...


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