Using punting as a substitute for dating/relationship

[Dime]

IMO it's very interesting that an element of punters on here are married and punt because they don't get sex at home etc. I'm approaching my 24th birthday and have been punting for a year and a bit; I lost my virginity to a prostitute when I was aged 22 , and my only sexual experiences have been with escorts as you can see from my reviews.  I've never been in a relationship or had a girlfriend due to my shyness when I was at school and university, despite the fact I am a reasonably good-looking guy who goes to the gym regularly.
I have visions of going through my life without ever having a relationship or kids and punting will be the only opportunity I'll have for sex.
In what way is sex with a prossie different from your girlfriend /wife? And is punting a viable alternative to a relationship if you can't find anyone? 

[purple_t]

In for answers from the married guys / guys with girlfriends.

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you OP, though I've had sex with a few civ girls as well. I think there will be a lot more young guys like us in the coming years / decades, now that marriage is becoming outdated and female hypergamy is rampant

[vw]

Is it concerning you at all that you haven't had a civvie shag or relationship.  What important is how these things affect your happiness now and going forward.

You don't want lots of what ifs hanging over you in life, would make a plan to try.  never know you might like it !

[maxxblue]

IMO it's very interesting that an element of punters on here are married and punt because they don't get sex at home etc. I'm approaching my 24th birthday and have been punting for a year and a bit; I lost virginity to a prostitute aged 22 and have only ever had sex with escorts.  I've never been in a relationship or had a girlfriend due to my shyness when I was at school and university, despite the fact I am a reasonably good-looking guy who goes to the gym regularly.
I have visions of going through my life without ever having a relationship or kids and punting will be the only opportunity I'll have for sex.
In what way is sex with a prossie different from your girlfriend /wife? And is punting a viable alternative to a relationship if you can't find anyone?

Punting meets your physical needs, whereas a relationship meets your emotional needs.

A good relationship will also meet your physical needs, but a good punt will not meet your emotional needs.

So, in an ideal world, you'll have a partner who meets all of your needs.

In a less than ideal world, you have to make the most of what you have. 

[JG2000]

Punting meets your physical needs, whereas a relationship meets your emotional needs.

A good relationship will also meet your physical needs, but a good punt will not meet your emotional needs.

Great answer.

I know from experience that a relationship is far more important than casual paid sex. Problem is, it doesn't matter if I have either one, I still crave the other. I'm just greedy I suppose.

[dizietsmae]

Great answer.

I know from experience that a relationship is far more important than casual paid sex. Problem is, it doesn't matter if I have either one, I still crave the other. I'm just greedy I suppose.

+1 for the greedy brigade, I have sex on tap at home and my OH is 10 years younger.  However I can't seem to stop punting!!

[Rossco100]

Everyone is different,I did the long term relationship thing getting engaged but not getting married.in my experience a long term relationship is great to start with where your physical and emotional needs are both taken care of but over time the physical side slips away and the emotional side becomes her moaning her arse off at everything no matter how small and trivial the matter.OK this is very much my opinion on things but going by my group of mates my experience is not uncommon.

Now I'm single go for a punt usually once a month and I'm as happy as Larry (whoever he was)

[Dime]

Is it concerning you at all that you haven't had a civvie shag or relationship.  What important is how these things affect your happiness now and going forward.

You don't want lots of what ifs hanging over you in life, would make a plan to try.  never know you might like it !

It is bothering me in the sense that it's a bit unusual and I'm curious to see what it's like.  22 was relatively late to lose my virginity bearing in mind the age of consent is 16.

[Midlane]

By the time you're in your 70s, nobody will care if it was 16 or 22, and that's including you, if you can even remember it by then.

[jimbm55]

Divorced. Had some girlfriends since but both came with too much baggage. I like sex and I like women. I have female friends but I only shag WGs. Simples

[vw]

It is bothering me in the sense that it's a bit unusual and I'm curious to see what it's like.  22 was relatively late to lose my virginity bearing in mind the age of consent is 16.

What I meant is it making you not happy having not tried it. 

You say you were late losing your V.  But with a positive spin you had the confidence to become a punter aged 22, many people try and fail and pull out of our fine hobby.

[threechilliman]

+1 for the greedy brigade, I have sex on tap at home and my OH is 10 years younger.  However I can't seem to stop punting!!

+2 in the greedy brigade.

tcm

[two20]

If I had have discovered punting before "normal" relationships I think I'd have had a very skewed view of life. To punt now as a supplement to a relationship is great, but I need a "normal" one to keep me sane and enjoying the company of a woman. I'd take some time out at your age and go dating, its never been easier for a shy guy to get in contact with someone and hopefully find a woman you like. Hope that doesn't sound fluffy.

[willmo1]

Punting meets your physical needs, whereas a relationship meets your emotional needs.

A good relationship will also meet your physical needs, but a good punt will not meet your emotional needs.

So, in an ideal world, you'll have a partner who meets all of your needs.

In a less than ideal world, you have to make the most of what you have. 

Excellent. Sums it all up perfectly. 

[Nagilum]

In short and as others have said - no.

Punting is not a substitute and in the punting wiki (section 9) it specifically warns against treating it like a date.

External Link/Members Only

The problem arises when punters start to confuse the act with the real thing and assume what happens in that hour is love.  Keep them separate in your head and you will be fine.  I state this not because its the obvious, but because this opening post goes along that line of enquiry.

Punt well, punt hard 

[smiths]

IMO it's very interesting that an element of punters on here are married and punt because they don't get sex at home etc. I'm approaching my 24th birthday and have been punting for a year and a bit; I lost my virginity to a prostitute when I was aged 22 , and my only sexual experiences have been with escorts as you can see from my reviews.  I've never been in a relationship or had a girlfriend due to my shyness when I was at school and university, despite the fact I am a reasonably good-looking guy who goes to the gym regularly.
I have visions of going through my life without ever having a relationship or kids and punting will be the only opportunity I'll have for sex.
In what way is sex with a prossie different from your girlfriend /wife? And is punting a viable alternative to a relationship if you can't find anyone?

I punt only for sex, I get love elsewhere fortunately so the difference is beyond measure for me. Problem is one woman isn't enough because I require and more importantly want variety so being a selfish git go and get that variety.

Punting is in no way a viable alternative for me to a relationship.

[Mansell]

Punting meets your physical needs, whereas a relationship meets your emotional needs.

A good relationship will also meet your physical needs, but a good punt will not meet your emotional needs.

So, in an ideal world, you'll have a partner who meets all of your needs.

In a less than ideal world, you have to make the most of what you have. 

Sums it up really well.

To the OP, if you can find a good one then it's well worth it, in so many ways. Hopefully if you do she will continue to have the same interest in sex as you for a long as you are together 

[mikexxlong]

And whatever you do, try not to get emotionally attached to a WG, as it will in all likelihood, end in tears

Just take punting for what it is fun and sexually gratifying, well fingers crossed 

Best of luck & hopefully you will meet and have a relationship with your ideal girl

[jcdmj12]

By the time you're in your 70s, nobody will care if it was 16 or 22, and that's including you, if you can even remember it by then.

I can remember that I was 15, because my (older) GF at the time desperately wanted to shag me whilst it was still illegal.   Dirty bitch she was. 

[Sonny Crockett]

IMO it's very interesting that an element of punters on here are married and punt because they don't get sex at home etc. I'm approaching my 24th birthday and have been punting for a year and a bit; I lost my virginity to a prostitute when I was aged 22 , and my only sexual experiences have been with escorts as you can see from my reviews.  I've never been in a relationship or had a girlfriend due to my shyness when I was at school and university, despite the fact I am a reasonably good-looking guy who goes to the gym regularly.
I have visions of going through my life without ever having a relationship or kids and punting will be the only opportunity I'll have for sex.
In what way is sex with a prossie different from your girlfriend /wife? And is punting a viable alternative to a relationship if you can't find anyone?

You are exactly the same as me. I have only had sex with WGs and never with civvies. I was 26 when I lost my virginity to an escort. I have had to learn about sex the hard way, making lots of mistakes and spending lots of money in the process. 7 years on, I am probably still learning.

I can only imagine that when you have sex with civvies, you'll look at it from a different perspective, and also there's more scope for trying new things. In punting trying new things often depends on the WG you contact and how interested they really are in your requests!!!

[Nagilum]

You are exactly the same as me. I have only had sex with WGs and never with civvies. I was 26 when I lost my virginity to an escort. I have had to learn about sex the hard way, making lots of mistakes and spending lots of money in the process. 7 years on, I am probably still learning.

I can only imagine that when you have sex with civvies, you'll look at it from a different perspective, and also there's more scope for trying new things. In punting trying new things often depends on the WG you contact and how interested they really are in your requests!!!

But what a way to learn

The only good thing about civvies is unprotected sex. Having said that, I would take any girlfriend to the GUM clinic.

[Aspen]

I have only had sex with WGs and never with civvies.

I think that's a lot more common that is generally realised. It's also a positive because WG's are always available (when you can find a suitable one) but GF's are not. If I had to choose between one or the other for life, but not both, I wouldn't choose the GF/partner/wife route.

When you get talking to WG's about the sort of men they prefer, they always seem to say married men. But a close second is men who have never had a GF but always pay, and surprisingly I've been told that it's because they are often very good at it. Some of them are in their 50's and 60's and obviously a lot of them will have their entire sex life with WG's. There can't be a clearer reason why punting should never be criminalised.

[Aspen]

But what a way to learn

The only good thing about civvies is unprotected sex.

I find I don't miss it if I have regular bbbj's

Has to be a WG that is really good at it though.

[Sonny Crockett]

I think that's a lot more common that is generally realised. It's also a positive because WG's are always available (when you can find a suitable one) but GF's are not. If I had to choose between one or the other for life, but not both, I wouldn't choose the GF/partner/wife route.

When you get talking to WG's about the sort of men they prefer, they always seem to say married men. But a close second is men who have never had a GF but always pay, and surprisingly I've been told that it's because they are often very good at it. Some of them are in their 50's and 60's and obviously a lot of them will have their entire sex life with WG's. There can't be a clearer reason why punting should never be criminalised.

Absolutely..... Punting serves a man's basic sexual needs!!! I love sex and at times feel I need it, so to feel like a complete man!!!

[willmo1]

You are exactly the same as me. I have only had sex with WGs and never with civvies. I was 26 when I lost my virginity to an escort. I have had to learn about sex the hard way, making lots of mistakes and spending lots of money in the process. 7 years on, I am probably still learning.

I can only imagine that when you have sex with civvies, you'll look at it from a different perspective, and also there's more scope for trying new things. In punting trying new things often depends on the WG you contact and how interested they really are in your requests!!!

Get the right gfriend and theres a world of difference. Civvie sex is the real thing while punting is little more than an expensive wank. Does the job physically but nothing more.

[WelshClipper]

Great answer.

I know from experience that a relationship is far more important than casual paid sex.

Two things

You are right. But....

I am too cynical to agree

[Escort 1]

In my experience the clients who use punting as a substitute to relationships are 'problem clients': inevitably they will come to expect more from the punter-escort relationship. And it never ends well really.

Paid sex IMO is to be enjoyed instead of a relationship or alongside a relationship.

That said, many punters become addicted to the practicality of paying for sex: easier and better vfm than chatting a girl up, Buying her dinner and drinks and then get a peck on the cheek.
I think it does stop some punters from finding love/ a relationship because they don't approach civvies (they think it's easier to shag an escort, they never get to know the civvy).
Last but not least: unrealistic expectations. As a punter, a guy picks his fantasy girl for a shag, which might not be as practicable in reality.

[Nagilum]

I think it does stop some punters from finding love/ a relationship because they don't approach civvies (they think it's easier to shag an escort, they never get to know the civvy).

This greatly depends on the outlook of the individual.  After being married for 10 years and narrowly escaping a life of misery, I find myself questioning why I would ever want a girl coming into my life and stopping me potentially doing the things I want to do.  Being single is far more liberating than having a civvie girlfriend.  I can do what I want to my house, turn it into the ultimate man cave, spend time with myself and see escorts without guilt or fear or reprisals.  This also means I do not run the risk of working hard to build my career and my wealth for an unscrupulous woman to come in and take half my assets, should the relationship/marriage not work.

Its not cynical, although on the surface it may seem that way - this is life experience talking.  I do not exclude the possibility of love, however at this moment in time, and having reached my mid 30's, it would have to be one heck of a woman to come into my life and share it.  Maybe Kate Beckingsale... Ok Kate Beckingsale can do whatever she wants to me 

[jcdmj12]

This greatly depends on the outlook of the individual.  After being married for 10 years and narrowly escaping a life of misery, I find myself questioning why I would ever want a girl coming into my life and stopping me potentially doing the things I want to do.  Being single is far more liberating than having a civvie girlfriend.  I can do what I want to my house, turn it into the ultimate man cave, spend time with myself and see escorts without guilt or fear or reprisals.  This also means I do not run the risk of working hard to build my career and my wealth for an unscrupulous woman to come in and take half my assets, should the relationship/marriage not work.

Its not cynical, although on the surface it may seem that way - this is life experience talking.  I do not exclude the possibility of love, however at this moment in time, and having reached my mid 30's, it would have to be one heck of a woman to come into my life and share it.  Maybe Kate Beckingsale... Ok Kate Beckingsale can do whatever she wants to me 

Marriage still works as a structure for bringing up a family in.  If you don't want to do that, why bother? 

The problems came with the Victorians started conflating romantic love with the practical business of raising an heir.

[smiths]

Get the right gfriend and theres a world of difference. Civvie sex is the real thing while punting is little more than an expensive wank. Does the job physically but nothing more.

Indeed, though a good WG offering a good service can be far better than a wank in my experiences but nowhere near what a partner can offer.

[Nagilum]

Marriage still works as a structure for bringing up a family in.  If you don't want to do that, why bother? 

The problems came with the Victorians started conflating romantic love with the practical business of raising an heir.

Indeed and I would agree with that.

I think after having done it, I have reservations.

[vw]

I find I don't miss it if I have regular bbbj's

Has to be a WG that is really good at it though.

Don't you mean regular BB ?

[vw]

Indeed and I would agree with that.

I think after having done it, I have reservations.

Its just not for some people when these people accept that and say fuck off to social norms they will find true contentment !

[Escort 1]

Exactly!
Im single and I'm afraid to say I do enjoy a bit of pillow talk and the cuddle if the timings Allow it,
. Not necessarily with everyone, depends if there's a connection.

There is a demand for that; 'a friend of mines actually had 'hugs and cuddles' listed as a service '

evev married men have told me that, it's not just sex that is off the table At home, there's simply no intimacy: physical contact as wifey thinks might lead to sex,,,so no hugs?

I'm my opinion punting can be a relationship-saver if the only problem in the marriage is the lack of sex.

Us prossies face a similar dilemma: make money but settle for Crap boyfriend - lets be honest, not many decent blokes Would put up with  their profession. Then obviously there Are
Girls who quit when they fall in love and that's it- but it's a massive compromise IM0.

Bottom line : punting does not replace a relationship in the slightest, simply provides good hassle -free shags, essential for married men and practical for single men.

Personally I prefer married clients before they know it's a self contained hour/overnight, whatever. Treat me very nicely, even small gifts on occasions, but the key thing is that it is what it is,

Single guys, hmm, if they fancy variety then find, but if they would like a girlfriend but don't have one, its most guaranteed they will start seeing a regular

[justfornow]

3rd answer from maxxblue pretty much nails it. You can't use punting as a substitute for a relationship and you should get it out of your head if it's in there somewhere.

(...)
Paid sex IMO is to be enjoyed instead of a relationship or alongside a relationship.

That said, many punters become addicted to the practicality of paying for sex: easier and better vfm than chatting a girl up, Buying her dinner and drinks and then get a peck on the cheek.
I think it does stop some punters from finding love/ a relationship because they don't approach civvies (they think it's easier to shag an escort, they never get to know the civvy).
Last but not least: unrealistic expectations. As a punter, a guy picks his fantasy girl for a shag, which might not be as practicable in reality.

Do we know each other ? Are you talking about me ?

Now when I talk to girls that aren't pretty, as soon as I get bored with conversation I feel like they have nothing to offer. If they're not pretty or interesting there's no point. Maybe I'm too dismissive:)

Regardless. Punting is punting and dating is dating. Do what you want and what you need don't substitute anything.

[Nagilum]

Single guys, hmm, if they fancy variety then find, but if they would like a girlfriend but don't have one, its most guaranteed they will start seeing a regular

I can appreciate that, but as long as they do not view the regular as a stand in girlfriend everything is fine.  It's when the line is crossed that you have problems.

Prossie/punter relationships are sadly more widespread than I thought, I have seen a few girls who admitted meeting a punter, quitting for a while, then breaking up and returning to the job.

To each his own I would say.  You reap what you sow

[punk]

IMO it's very interesting that an element of punters on here are married and punt because they don't get sex at home etc. I'm approaching my 24th birthday and have been punting for a year and a bit; I lost my virginity to a prostitute when I was aged 22 , and my only sexual experiences have been with escorts as you can see from my reviews.  I've never been in a relationship or had a girlfriend due to my shyness when I was at school and university, despite the fact I am a reasonably good-looking guy who goes to the gym regularly.
I have visions of going through my life without ever having a relationship or kids and punting will be the only opportunity I'll have for sex.
In what way is sex with a prossie different from your girlfriend /wife? And is punting a viable alternative to a relationship if you can't find anyone?

I blame British birds, my god they're fussy now a days,then they moan that they haven't had a relationship in ages.

[Dime]

The reason I posted the original question is over  the past week or so I have been constantly horny, even though I had a punt on Saturday. I have been wanting more than usual  (even at work in the toilets during my break by watching porn on my phone.  All I've thought about has been sex and punting. This has never happened before and I thought a possible reason could be I am not getting enough sex or intimacy. Is this normal for guys to go through horniness phases? I don't think it is.

[Sonny Crockett]

Punting should really just be a Simple Hobby for a man to satisfy his sexual desires. Nothing More and Nothing Less!!

[Nagilum]

The reason I posted the original question is over  the past week or so I have been constantly horny, even though I had a punt on Saturday. I have been wanting more than usual  (even at work in the toilets during my break by watching porn on my phone.  All I've thought about has been sex and punting. This has never happened before and I thought a possible reason could be I am not getting enough sex or intimacy. Is this normal for guys to go through horniness phases? I don't think it is.

How old are you?

[justfornow]

The reason I posted the original question is over  the past week or so I have been constantly horny, even though I had a punt on Saturday. I have been wanting more than usual  (even at work in the toilets during my break by watching porn on my phone.  All I've thought about has been sex and punting. This has never happened before and I thought a possible reason could be I am not getting enough sex or intimacy. Is this normal for guys to go through horniness phases? I don't think it is.

I can relate to that. There was a time where I couldn't stop thinking about sex. I could masturbate 2-3 times a day and it wouldn't help a bit. It lasted for a while until I went on a punting spree. If you're single you might have some craving for kissing and cuddling as well as dumping your load. Wgs can take care of that too.

As far as my experience goes regulars are there because of their service.

[Jamboney]

I use punting as a substitute to wasting time trying, and then failing to pull civvies.

[punk]

How old are you?

I think he said that he is 24?

[Dime]

I think he said that he is 24?

Yes I turn 24 next week

[Nagilum]

Yes I turn 24 next week

Sorry I missed it in the earlier posts.

Its 100% normal to be horny at that age and go through bouts you describe.  I remember having sex 8 times in 3 hours (a girlfriend I had met), a feat I can only dream to match in my mid 30's!

I would take advantage and if money permits have two punts in one day!

[jimbobwood]

I can relate to that. There was a time where I couldn't stop thinking about sex. I could masturbate 2-3 times a day and it wouldn't help a bit. It lasted for a while until I went on a punting spree. If you're single you might have some craving for kissing and cuddling as well as dumping your load. Wgs can take care of that too.

As far as my experience goes regulars are there because of their service.

With a girlfriend you get an overdose of (MMN - Male Mother Need) The kissing, cuddling, holding hands, bareback sex and unlimited time together. When I had a girlfriend, I didn't feel the need to have a proper punt. Just a few quickies in Soho and the odd tranny sessions. A good prossie can give you just enough MMN to keep you content, but there is something missing. That's why punters book 3 hours or even overnight with prossies to make it feel like a proper Girlfriend Experience, with a pornstar experience twist.

The downside to having a girlfriend is you have the endless games, the mindnumbing conversations, jumping through hoops, trying to please her, dining out and all that to deal with.

It's a hard one! I say do both when it suits you. For me, I'm focused on myself and don't need the hassle of a girlfriend at the moment. If I feel the need for sex, I'll book a prossie. If I fancy a civvie, I'll date.

[justfornow]

With a girlfriend you get an overdose of (MMN - Male Mother Need) The kissing, cuddling, holding hands, bareback sex and unlimited time together. When I had a girlfriend, I didn't feel the need to have a proper punt. Just a few quickies in Soho and the odd tranny sessions. A good prossie can give you just enough MMN to keep you content, but there is something missing. That's why punters book 3 hours or even overnight with prossies to make it feel like a proper Girlfriend Experience, with a pornstar experience twist.

The downside to having a girlfriend is you have the endless games, the mindnumbing conversations, jumping through hoops, trying to please her, dining out and all that to deal with.

It's a hard one! I say do both when it suits you. For me, I'm focused on myself and don't need the hassle of a girlfriend at the moment. If I feel the need for sex, I'll book a prossie. If I fancy a civvie, I'll date.

Indeed I used to book 2 hours often just so I can get my fix of cuddling and kissing. I still like it but I don't need as much now so 1h has been enough recently.

It seems there are few general different types of experiences and attitudes towards punting that are shared most guys on here.

[punk]

Sorry I missed it in the earlier posts.

Its 100% normal to be horny at that age and go through bouts you describe.  I remember having sex 8 times in 3 hours (a girlfriend I had met), a feat I can only dream to match in my mid 30's!

I would take advantage and if money permits have two punts in one day!

I must be superman as i'm still doing 3 pops in an hour if the W.G is free with it and can easily do two.

[peter_bungee]

Aged 24 surely you have other financial priorities like buying home and pension, punting is for the well off, unless you can control yourself and only do what u can afford

It is easy nowadays to hook up on tinder etc

[Nagilum]

Aged 24 surely you have other financial priorities like buying home and pension, punting is for the well off, unless you can control yourself and only do what u can afford

It is easy nowadays to hook up on tinder etc

You assume too much. He may already have a home and be well off.